"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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I might have to end this Ganji Game...

The Comeback Kid

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I'm sure some of you have heard of this "Ganji Game" thing (there was a thread about it) where, if you're sure a girl is about to put you in the friend zone, you cut her off entirely until she comes begging for you to see her. I never intended to play it that way with a girl I had liked, but sure enough that's what I've been doing. I called to ask her out, I got a white lie (she mentioned a dinner she was going to that night, then told me later she couldn't go b/c she got preoccupied), she gets the Ganji.

That was three weeks ago. Fast forward to now, and things are tranquil in my life. I mean reeeeeeeeeally tranquil. It's getting rather boring! :crazy: I don't have my mind on a single girl in particular, I've already seen what my classes have to offer, and this past weekend I didn't click with anyone new at parties. So yeah, things are pretty calm right now, but I need something that I could get excited for.

Let's put it this way - I'm close to calling this girl again because of the tumbleweeds rolling through the girls area of my life right now. She's a nice girl, we get along and she instigated the keeping in touch all summer even though I met her twice prior. This year, I hung out with her and a few other people once; something didn't feel right with that crowd (maybe the horrible guy/girl ratio) plus the fact I didn't know anyone else there. I wouldn't ask for a date yet by any means...probably just to hang out as a group featuring a couple of my friends too (she's a poker addict, I like poker a bit too) and go from there.

Is this the right thing to do? If I go ahead with it, Ganji Game ends. I'll call (or text) her and let her know what day this is happening (I have to take control). If I don't go ahead with it, then I'm relying on her coming back, begging for my attention. Considering she knows too many AFC guys, this might not happen since she's getting enough attention from them. I've done my best Ganji so far - I haven't spoken with her and I believe I walked right past her last week once w/o saying a word, she may have done a double take (I didn't even notice her until right when I was passing her).
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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The Comeback Kid

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If I decide to call (or text) her, I'm probably doing it sometime tonight, so any thoughts you guys have definitely help. I'm debating whether I am doing this beacuse:
A.) I actually could see us dating, provided we see each other more often, or B.) Nothing else is going on, so I'm just giving this a shot.

Obviously, I have better reason to pursue this if I'm doing it for A rather than for B. I think she's pretty cool and she's a generally nice person, but if I was preoccupied with several other girls right now, I'm not so sure I'd be contacting her.

Wouldn't it be odd if she was playing GANJI GAMES with me?! :eek: :eek: :eek: I doubt that's the case, but you never know...
 

Interceptor

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This female is not sexually attracted nor interested in you.
She may let you be her friend though.
The best way to just be her friend is to call her back and ask her to play poker or something friendly and non sexual.
Considering that you 'NEED' her, yeah, you should call her now.
 

The Comeback Kid

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Interceptor said:
This female is not sexually attracted nor interested in you.
She may let you be her friend though.
The best way to just be her friend is to call her back and ask her to play poker or something friendly and non sexual.
Considering that you 'NEED' her, yeah, you should call her now.
You're probably right, but I don't "need" her at all. The only reason she has even entered my mind now is b/c absolutely nothing else is going on here, so I'm seeing what girls I do know and if there's any chance of hanging out with them.

I'll call tonight I suppose, if she's "busy" no big deal, I've already moved on.
 

Desdinova

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I don't have my mind on a single girl in particular
For the life of a Don Juan, this is not a bad thing.

Let's put it this way - I'm close to calling this girl again because of the tumbleweeds rolling through the girls area of my life right now.
Instead of working on your approaches, your openers, and your number closes, you're going to pursue a woman solely because you haven't created any more opportunities. That's the sign of desperation and reliance on women to make you happy.

If a woman actually enjoys spending time with you, she'll make time for you and even make excuses to see you. If this woman hasn't contacted you in three weeks, then she doesn't want to spend time with you. This Ganji bull5hit will only work if the woman is truly interested in you. If she's happy to get rid of you, then you'll spend your entire life playing "Ganji Games"

It also makes you focus on only one woman. You're still putting energy into this woman by avoiding her. It nurtures your problem with one-itis and prevents you from moving ahead with your life.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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The Comeback Kid

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I understand. Not being occupied with one girl on my mind could be a good thing, but I'd like to get the ball rolling somewhere as well.

I wouldn't go as far as "I need a girl to make me happy." It's not true. However, I've been single for too long and I'm hoping I can create an opportunity for something to work, once the right girl comes along (I'm not going to launch myself at every girl, I'm not that desperate). I've also been hanging out with my college friends a lot, but the past few days it's "same old same old."

Things are calm, which is good. However, too calm is also too boring. Whether I succeed or fail here, I've gotta do something to change the pace a bit. I party on the weekends and I go the gym when I don't have class (though I'm focused on self-improvement there and not on women). During classes, there aren't many opportunities for me to sidle up next to a random girl and say hi without coming off as a creep.

As for the girl I mentioned here...I didn't try to play Ganji Games, which is scary. It just hit me a few days ago after my friend told me he thinks he's in a class with her (he's met her once before)...I thought, "hey, it's been 3 weeks and this girl and I haven't spoken." Perhaps this speaks louder than anything else I wrote...perhaps it's time to totally forget about her. My only wonder is what exactly caused this...towards the end of the summer she said she was real excited to see me, I couldn't make the trip to the city she was visiting with a guy friend (I live within an hour of that city) b/c I was on vacation and then I was tied up the day I came back (friends were leaving for college). We return to school, I see her once after she asked me to play poker and that's it? :rolleyes: I guess some things are not meant to be, and this would be one of those times.
 

Bluesteak

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I tried ganji like this and the attention hor ended up just replacing me with another AFC that was more than willing to fill the gap and is now her *****.
Im still in ganji but Im glad for this website or I would still be trying. I know its hard but even if you do hang out you wont do as good as one of her dudes she has on a leash simply because they have given her more attention
 

Forty0ztoFreedom

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I'm on this road too. Come on man. We know where this is going. Easier said than done, but you need to cut contact for YOU, not as some "game" to get her back. Forget about it. What happens if she comes back to you? You'll be worried about her "losing interest" again and again. Sound like fun?
 

Interceptor

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WOW, guys.
I'm being sarcastic.
CK, you are on the verge of coming down with Oneitis.
Snap out of that sh*t Now, man.

How can you guys not see this coming????!

This is textbook Oneitis. And it is dangerous.


She's not interested in you.


Dont bother with females who aren't interested in you.


It doesn't MATTER how much or IF you like her or think about her or ANYTHING...stupid "gangcrap" games DONT WORK on females who DONT CARE ABOUT YOU.



Snap out of this and start doing something to improve your life.
 

The Comeback Kid

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Interceptor said:
WOW, guys.
I'm being sarcastic.
CK, you are on the verge of coming down with Oneitis.
Snap out of that sh*t Now, man.

How can you guys not see this coming????!

This is textbook Oneitis. And it is dangerous.


She's not interested in you.


Dont bother with females who aren't interested in you.


It doesn't MATTER how much or IF you like her or think about her or ANYTHING...stupid "gangcrap" games DONT WORK on females who DONT CARE ABOUT YOU.



Snap out of this and start doing something to improve your life.
What you're saying is right, but you're reading this situation wrong. I used to have oneitis for this girl...several weeks ago - now I'm over it. The only reason I was even thinking of her as an "option" now was because not much else is going on right now. It's not like I had always been thinking about her lol...I literally scanned my phone book and when I saw her name, went "hmm...".
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Interceptor

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was because not much else is going on right now
Which only underlines and affirms your continued Oneitis condition.
Don't delude yourself any longer.
Snap out of it, CK. I'm not going to lie to you. Let this illusion go, man.
 
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