I might have screwed up. Damage control?

[aim22]

Hello all, great community.. first post here.
Ok here's the thing: Went out with a girl.. the date was good, not great but good enough, was only a couple hours and we hardly knew each other, with that, among other things, I was sure the response for the kiss would've been negative.

Anyway.. during the date she was talking about this pick up videos on youtube and exchanged pick up lines... all while laughing not being serious I said the one with.. "feel this *feels arm*... that's boyfriend material".. anyway, date went on and we said bye.

Next day
Me: I just thought of another one... *cheesy pick up line*
Her: That's a good one too but I prefer the one about the bf material... anyway, guys don't usually aim to become boyfriends. It was fun yesterday
Me: that's generally true, but only until we end up meeting someone great. And it was fun! so we should try and make it happen again.
Her: No answer

I haven't written anything else since then... 48 hours ago. Did I screw up with the "until we meet someone great" comment?? Now I'm thinking it's time for another text (If I call it might just be counterproductive after that last comment?)

I was thinking something along the lines of... "dinner + movie.. what do you say?"

Regards,

 

[LiveFreeX]

Call her.

Then fvck her.

Done deal.

If she doesn't show interest, its cause she's not interested. I told my wife after the first two dates, girlfriend or nothing, choose or bugger off. Guess we know how that turned out.

 

[YAboi]

dinner+movie= I'm an inexperienced guy who uses disney sitcoms as pickup lines.

This is a human being. Talk to her in a conversational manner.

 

[aim22]

dinner+movie= I'm an inexperienced guy who uses disney sitcoms as pickup lines.

This is a human being. Talk to her in a conversational manner.

Thanks for the observation... I wrote it like that in the forum but doesn't mean that will be the actual text, I might even call her, I haven't decided. I might not have been clear but the point of the post was not to decide what to text or say to her next, but what you guys thought of that last interaction? her comment and my response?

Best regards.

 

[n52]

No. Don't call or text her. She will contact you if she wants to go again, if she doesn't then don't text/call her again.

 

[YAboi]

I think you should leave it up to her to contact you and start looking for new women not girls.

You screwed up in my opinion by being too direct and eager by saying it was fun and you should "try"(should have left this out) and make it happen again. She is immature so could not handle it

 

[TheException]

I haven't written anything else since then... 48 hours ago. Did I screw up with the "until we meet someone great" comment?? Now I'm thinking it's time for another text (If I call it might just be counterproductive after that last comment?)

I was thinking something along the lines of... "dinner + movie.. what do you say?"

Illusion of action.

Whenever guys dont get a 100% positive response we always feel like we have to "do something" to fix it. Its only been 2 days and you're ready to be jumping all over this one woman. If anything...judging by what you have shared here....you are trying to communicate wayyyy too much with this girl. Quit texting for "fluff conversation". Only text her about once a week, and that is to try to make plans and hangout. Save conversations and your attempts at humor for in person.

 

[Yewki]

Next day
Me: I just thought of another one... *cheesy pick up line*

Do not engage in leisurely conversations with a girl via text. And whatever you do, DO NOT initiatve leisurely conversation with a girl via text. Think about what you did here from her perspective. You're still dwelling on a topic from yesterday's date. What does that tell her? It tells her you're trying hard to qualify yourself, desperate, and don't have much going on. I gaurantee when she read this you immediately moved down a rung or two in her mind, regardless of how funny the new cheesy pick up line was.

Her: That's a good one too but I prefer the one about the bf material... anyway, guys don't usually aim to become boyfriends. It was fun yesterday

Her message comes across as weird because she's trying to spin the topic into a qualification of herself by suggesting she's not just looking for sex. Pretty dumb, but anyways. At this point your best bet would have been to ingore that part and respond a few hours later with something simple like "Want to feel my arm again to check?" then don't contact her again until you arrange the next date.

Me: that's generally true, but only until we end up meeting someone great. And it was fun! so we should try and make it happen again.
Her: No answer

Too wordy, taking the subject too seriously, too AFC and naive ("until we end up meeting someone great" n*gga PLEASE), not enough confidence ("should try and make it happen again"), and just awkward phrasing.

I was thinking something along the lines of... "dinner + movie.. what do you say?"

First of all, bad idea. Second of all, even if it was a good idea you need to be more specific. Name a day and time to make so as to seem not particularly available yourself, if she declines with no counter act like it doesn't matter and don't contact her for a few days... then try again. If she declines a second time with no offer, move on and don't initiate anything with her again.

 

[aim22]

Do not engage in leisurely conversations with a girl via text. And whatever you do, DO NOT initiatve leisurely conversation with a girl via text. Think about what you did here from her perspective. You're still dwelling on a topic from yesterday's date. What does that tell her? It tells her you're trying hard to qualify yourself, desperate, and don't have much going on. I gaurantee when she read this you immediately moved down a rung or two in her mind, regardless of how funny the new cheesy pick up line was.



Her message comes across as weird because she's trying to spin the topic into a qualification of herself by suggesting she's not just looking for sex. Pretty dumb, but anyways. At this point your best bet would have been to ingore that part and respond a few hours later with something simple like "Want to feel my arm again to check?" then don't contact her again until you arrange the next date.



Too wordy, taking the subject too seriously, too AFC and naive ("until we end up meeting someone great" n*gga PLEASE), not enough confidence ("should try and make it happen again"), and just awkward phrasing.



First of all, bad idea. Second of all, even if it was a good idea you need to be more specific. Name a day and time to make so as to seem not particularly available yourself, if she declines with no counter act like it doesn't matter and don't contact her for a few days... then try again. If she declines a second time with no offer, move on and don't initiate anything with her again.

This.
Thanks dude... it's so weird how I can't behave the same way with girls that I just bang and the ones I actually like.. I think I'll not contact her again until next week and suggest another date.

 

[narcissist]

just fvcking call her, grab your balls and stop being a mangina

so goddamn what if she doesnt go on a second date with you at least you tried.

i see it two ways:

1. you dont contact her. she OBVIOUSLY isnt going to contact you or she WOULD HAVE ALREADY. so this = NO DATE and NO PVSSY

2. YOU DO CONTACT HER. she either says yes or no 50/50 chance you go on second date. = possibly getting the vag


hmmm. odds seem better for second choice.

if she says no, at east you are 100% sure shes NOT INTERESTED, then you can MOVE THE FVCK ON and spin more plates, then being so caught up with a broad you had ONE DATE WITH.

 

[narcissist]

oh. call her, dont text

 

[PeasantPlayer]

hmmmm

 

[aim22]

just fvcking call her, grab your balls and stop being a mangina

I will, I will.

i see it two ways:
1. you dont contact her. she OBVIOUSLY isnt going to contact you or she WOULD HAVE ALREADY. so this = NO DATE and NO PVSSY

2. YOU DO CONTACT HER. she either says yes or no 50/50 chance you go on second date. = possibly getting the vag

You are right. Question is when, since I screwed up with that text and the whole "someone great" comment, I think the best is to wait long enough for her to forget about it or MAYBE wonder if I just said it and didn't mean it (hence me not pursuing her anymore).

if she says no, at east you are 100% sure shes NOT INTERESTED, then you can MOVE THE FVCK ON and spin more plates, then being so caught up with a broad you had ONE DATE WITH.

You may or may not believe it, but I do spin more plates. I have 3 girls I can call whenever I want and it's a done deal, plus whatever might come up whenever I hit a bar or club... My problem is that I do become a massive AFC when it's a girl I see potential to get serious with.

 

[adam225]

Some wise words of advice - THERE'S NO SUCH FVCKING THING AS SCREWING UP WITH WOMEN. :box: :cuss:

If you feel as though "you've screwed up" the only person you've "screwed up with" is yourself. Life's to short to worry about anyone else that doesn't really matter (family, close friends, ect...).

If "she" is causing YOU anxiety, then YOU need to start looking at YOURSELF closer.... :yes:

 

[narcissist]

Some wise words of advice - THERE'S NO SUCH FVCKING THING AS SCREWING UP WITH WOMEN.

this. right. fvcking. here.

best post ive read on SoS. More men need to realize this.


to OP:

dude. come one man. its a girl. if you screw up who cares? i feel like too many men in this world are so caught up with vag, so hopelessly enveloped in attaining pvssy, its fvcking absurd.

i dare you to not even contact her for ever. just dont even call her. i know you want to. probably badly. fvck it, dont do it. a little exercise in will power. prove it to yourself you dont need her.

EVEN if she calls. and BEGS for your d!ck, dont do it. prove to yourself, as a human being that you dont need this fvckin girl that you went on one date with. just delete her number bruh. trust me itll be better for you then actually calling her. because youll gain the realization that YOU DONT NEED WOMEN.

 

[adam225]

... miss post .

 

[aim22]

this. right. fvcking. here.

best post ive read on SoS. More men need to realize this.


to OP:

dude. come one man. its a girl. if you screw up who cares? i feel like too many men in this world are so caught up with vag, so hopelessly enveloped in attaining pvssy, its fvcking absurd.

i dare you to not even contact her for ever. just dont even call her. i know you want to. probably badly. fvck it, dont do it. a little exercise in will power. prove it to yourself you dont need her.

EVEN if she calls. and BEGS for your d!ck, dont do it. prove to yourself, as a human being that you dont need this fvckin girl that you went on one date with. just delete her number bruh. trust me itll be better for you then actually calling her. because youll gain the realization that YOU DONT NEED WOMEN.

A little background about me. 30 years old, never had a girlfriend, well.. only one exception, I was back home for a summer (I live and work in another country) and I had to make this girl my girlfriend for like a month so she'd put out, I had no better options that summer so I thought what the hell, let's go for it. I am surely not nearly as successful as the top guys here, I've been with 20-21 girls, some I went on a few dates with, some became friends with benefits for a few months, a couple ONS, etc... I don't know if I should count the one I paid for? haha. But consider I've never done any daygame or even been on a dating site. All are from social circle, lucky nights at a club or even a 39 y.o. milf I once met at an airport and kept in touch through facebook.

What I'm trying to get at, I don't NEED girls, I have my regular goto girl right now and another couple I could call if needed and they'd be cool with it, but the "problem" for me it's almost impossible to feel the desire to make a girl my girlfriend, this is only the 2nd time it's ever happened to me, after one date only, yes.. but we talked really long the day we met at the dinner party. This is the first time I get this feelings or ideas in over 6 years... That's why I want her badly, I do. Haven't called her yet but don't know if I can follow the advice of not doing it at all. But I do solemnly swear It will be just one call to arrange a date. If she says no, hesitates or gives excuses, next!.

For the record, I do know what I'm doing wrong.. pedestalizing and such. But what's done is done, and for now I think I'll go with your previous advice, narcissist:

1. you dont contact her. she OBVIOUSLY isnt going to contact you or she WOULD HAVE ALREADY. so this = NO DATE and NO PVSSY

2. YOU DO CONTACT HER. she either says yes or no 50/50 chance you go on second date. = possibly getting the vag

I know you guys will say then I should increase the odds of finding more girls who'd give me this feelings by doing the things I don't do... daygame, online game, game and more game. And you are absolutely right, I should. Thanks for taking the time to read and answer, those who have.