E
Energizer
Guest
I met up with a female mate of mine who used to work at my workplace, but left six months ago to go to University. We met up earlier today for a few coffee's and a chat. The subject came to dating, romance, relationships etc.
She was asking questions like "How comes you aren't in a relationship" to which I replied with "I'm not really interested in relationships", "Will you get married?" to which I replied "I'll avoid it if I can" and as the conversation rolled in, the girl was bluntly honest with me and said "I can see why you're single". I looked puzzled and asked her why? She says that I'm too negative and branded me a commitmentphobe and she reckons that women can spot this mile off and suggested that I've gone on a baron spell because of my attitude.
She says that many women have commented on how handsome I am, many have complimented me on my smile and how I walk with a certain swagger, but what puts them off is that I can come across as being cold, unfriendly, aloof and intimidating. I asked her to clarify to which she complied. She says, that I should smile more and be more inviting, this will encourage women to let their guard down and feel able to start a conversation with me. Apparently I come across as aloof when people are speaking to me, it's as though I'm not listening to them which she says is a major turn off. With the intimidating she says I have a short fuse and her and many other people have seen me flare up inside and outside of work and apparently this aggression doesn't bode well with women.
I've been thinking about this all evening and I need to fake it so to speak, I seldom smile because I have nothing to smile about, but for some reason when I don't smile I look angry or p*ssed off. My smile according to this girl is an asset, yet it is wasted on me, because I wear my emotions on my sleeve, I've never been good at hiding emotions. How does one become more inviting without holding up a banner saying "speak to me please, I'm being more inviting"? Is it all to do with the smile or what? Body language? Posture? Stance? What is it, does anyone know?
As for aloof, I do drift off in and out of daydreams, I have terrible concentration skills, how can I improve these, so I don't drift off into a daydream whenever someone is talking to me about the state of their finances or how drunk they were last night? Is it down to discipline? Is it self taught or do I need some social skill counselling?
As for the short fuse, I have started up my long distance running to let off steam and I'm buying myself a punch bag for my room, but I'm frustrated with the lack of women at present and my job, I'm hoping to go into the Army, but that could be out of the window, if I am medically unsuitable for the vigours of Army life.
I'm basically asking for help, I'm still an AFC in some areas as you can tell, so how would a Don Juan handle the above?
She was asking questions like "How comes you aren't in a relationship" to which I replied with "I'm not really interested in relationships", "Will you get married?" to which I replied "I'll avoid it if I can" and as the conversation rolled in, the girl was bluntly honest with me and said "I can see why you're single". I looked puzzled and asked her why? She says that I'm too negative and branded me a commitmentphobe and she reckons that women can spot this mile off and suggested that I've gone on a baron spell because of my attitude.
She says that many women have commented on how handsome I am, many have complimented me on my smile and how I walk with a certain swagger, but what puts them off is that I can come across as being cold, unfriendly, aloof and intimidating. I asked her to clarify to which she complied. She says, that I should smile more and be more inviting, this will encourage women to let their guard down and feel able to start a conversation with me. Apparently I come across as aloof when people are speaking to me, it's as though I'm not listening to them which she says is a major turn off. With the intimidating she says I have a short fuse and her and many other people have seen me flare up inside and outside of work and apparently this aggression doesn't bode well with women.
I've been thinking about this all evening and I need to fake it so to speak, I seldom smile because I have nothing to smile about, but for some reason when I don't smile I look angry or p*ssed off. My smile according to this girl is an asset, yet it is wasted on me, because I wear my emotions on my sleeve, I've never been good at hiding emotions. How does one become more inviting without holding up a banner saying "speak to me please, I'm being more inviting"? Is it all to do with the smile or what? Body language? Posture? Stance? What is it, does anyone know?
As for aloof, I do drift off in and out of daydreams, I have terrible concentration skills, how can I improve these, so I don't drift off into a daydream whenever someone is talking to me about the state of their finances or how drunk they were last night? Is it down to discipline? Is it self taught or do I need some social skill counselling?
As for the short fuse, I have started up my long distance running to let off steam and I'm buying myself a punch bag for my room, but I'm frustrated with the lack of women at present and my job, I'm hoping to go into the Army, but that could be out of the window, if I am medically unsuitable for the vigours of Army life.
I'm basically asking for help, I'm still an AFC in some areas as you can tell, so how would a Don Juan handle the above?