i messed up

[Ryno121]

I am in a relationship with a amazing women. She and I have a very good relationship together on all levels. We just moved into together and I helped her clean out her condo. While cleaning out her place - I had to throw out her ex's belongings ( tax returns, clothing, etc). They never lived together he just left a lot of his stuff there - They were together 4 years and have been finished for about 2 years. He moved back to New York.

While here in San Diego last night, her and I went to the baseball game and of course were drinking.
Out of no where, her ex passed us on the street and tried to grab her to hug her...I thought this guy was in NY.

I was fairly frustrated and probably had to much to drink. I turned around to him and told him " I just moved all your sh*t out of her house yesterday and she just moved in with me"

That upset her - and she and I got into a argument later. I unforunatley said her somethings I regret and even touch in an aggressive manner. I feel really bad. Her and I are still talking but I know she lost some respect for me and it hurt bc of how I spoke to her.

How do I fix this? She also was a bit drunk and called 2 of her girlfriends ands told them what I said and that I grabbed her ( which I did ) to prevent her from walking away

Please let me know how I regain trust and fix this mess

 

[MrMidnight]

There is a lot of generic answers here, but you know this girl better than we do. If you really, really think you crossed a boundary with her, then its ok to show some vulnerability to make things right.

Most girls are so much more socially adept than we are. They know how to deflect, they know how to see an ex and not burn bridges... even if they have no interest.

If you want to save this? Admit you were a drunk idiot. Sure, you can try to reframe the hell out of this... but you will have her and her friends busting your chops for it. If you feel bad about it, then its ok to express it... if this is a real relationship.