I May Have Made a HUGE Mistake

[Zwitterion]

So I recently got on facebook and have been looking up people and have known from back in the day. Anyways, I discovered (ok fine, searched for) my old oneitis from 2003 and sent her a message apologizing for what I did, nothing more. I was drunk and looking for people, I ****ed up

The problem was I was kind of emotionally unstable at the time. I've improved leaps and bounds from then. However, I got jealous of her and starting ignoring her out of the blue where we worked and I once she quit our workplace I never saw her again. I never got the chance to apologize. I was pretty depressed the whole year after that until I found this site and made self-improvement my new religion.

Anyways, I'm worried that I might have just opened up an old scar by sending her a message. Whereas, I might have been better if I didn't contact her at all. I know she was really hurt by what I did back in the day but it's been over 3 years since that.

Guys I'm really worried about what this will lead to. Can I get some constructive criticism of how ease the damage control. Personally, since I don't have a GF right now I should probably dive into hitting on lots of girls and staying off facebook for awhile. I owed her an apology, but I'm scared now I'll become desperate and try to win her back. I know logically that's not going to be good for me.

 

[Last Man Standing]

You are trying to win a woman over from four years ago?? HuH? Not good!! Make an apology for mere apology sake out of regret but not to win a girl over!!

 

[abcd_z]

Well, I personally don't think you owed her anything of the sort, but what's done is done.

Let me ask you a few questions.

Do you believe you have the skills and internal beliefs to get *other* girls? As in, not your oneitis?

Are you currently making approaches and meeting fun people?

Do you believe you have that area of your life (that is, the opposite sex) welly and truely handled?

If the answer to these questions is yes, then you have nothing to worry about. If not, then you need to do whatever it takes to tighten things up for yourself and not worry so much about your old one-itis. On a related note, I'm beta-testing a bootcamp for cold approaches. PM me if you'd be interested in taking it.

 

[Obsidian]

if you never see the girl again, it doesn't matter what she thinks of you.

Just don't contact her anymore.

 

[DJDamage]

Everything should have been said the day you two broke up, everything said after that holds no water. Don't excuse yourself of being drunk you know that is B.S, you want her to answer the message saying some bvll**** like " thank you I forgive you and I miss you " but it ain't going to happen.

Move on with your life and don't revisit the past, you will only find ghosts there.

 

[Wyldfire]

Well...you already contacted her. She'll either respond to you or not. If she does and you aren't sure how to respond then you can always come here and ask...just make sure you only listen to people who know what they're talking about.

 

[dap]

I think you care too much about this girl. You f'ucked up by apologizing to her, because now she thinks you are weak and pitiful. I really think you should get away (mentally) from this girl and move on (I'm sure she has already).

 

[Miles Davis]

Go find 10 other women.

 

[MacDiddy]

Z: you contacted her with the hidden motive of trying to salvage something.

Seriously, would you contact someone else you embarrassed if it wasn't a chick you had oneitis for.... Thats weak!!

let it go man.....

 

[Zwitterion]

Well she actually responded and I really wish she hadn't.

Surprisingly she's acting like nothing bad ever happened and we haven't seen eachother in a long time. Now My mind is kind of focusing on this rathr than approaching new girls and conquering my fears.

I'm glad she's cool and everything, but I'm not gonna take this any further. I'm glad I said what I needed to say, done.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

Chick probably won't respond. I did something similar to this like a month ago too. Its not a big deal homie. Shes out of your life who cares.

 

[Jariel]

Sorry dude, but you're sounding like a drama queen!

Don't worry so much. We all make mistakes, just let them go. You've offered your apology now, forget it. Unless you apologised with ulterior motives, i.e.

You: I'm sorry for all that sh1t I did to you.
Her: All is forgiven. Do you want to go out?

It doesn't work like that, plus if that's your hope and your real intention, that makes you a typical "nice guy". If you apologised and you meant it, it really doesn't matter if she gets back to you. Move on and don't sweat it.

 

[dsenart]

hmmm

I am very familiar with this EXACT situation, and sir... I don't believe you.

I'm glad she's cool and everything, but I'm not gonna take this any further. I'm glad I said what I needed to say, done.

 

[Zwitterion]

Let me clear this up.

I'm NOT going to ask her to hang out with me. I'm just expressing my concerns beause it was an issue that took alot of energy and made me really emotional/depressed for over a year. I started this thread purely to vent. I"m glad everything is cool with us and I wanted my consicous to be put to rest. I've never regreted something more than this which is why I sent the apology in the first place.

And for your information, she did say that she missed me and all is forgiven. But I logically know it's a bad idea for us to see eachother which is why it stops at that. Don't take every minor setback as me caving into my old ways. I'm not a complete sissy like you guys are making me out to be.

I truly do want to change.