I love the stability of my long time gf, but crave the excitement of a side love affair, what to do?

jnMissouri

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I recently I had an affair. I twas not my first time but this time it was different, I fell for the girl and almost left my gf of about a decade for her. I started doing this a few years ago but this one I fell for and she knew how to keep me chasing, the up and down. She was naturally unstable, a challenge. The year long affair ended badly, we started talking again recently but although I love the girl she is crazy and unstable, I don't want to be with HER. I enjoyed the up and down, the uncertainty, the instability, not knowing if we'd work things out or start talking again, how things would turn out...but at the same time I now realize that I like the stability of my gf who is great as far as a gf except I'm not as attracted to her as I used to be, probably because we've been together so long. It's the same piece. I want her but I want to experience the emotions I experienced during this affair. Not sure what to do...It's like I want her stability but have the instability on the side. Which isn't fair to her.

It's not necessarily the sex, it's the emotions I feel. One week the other girl and I were getting along great, next week we were fighting all the time. She'd stop texting, calling, etc. I didn't know what would come next. Whether we would reconcile, etc. This went on for about a year.

Ultimately the girl was a disaster, divorced 4 times, lost custody of her kids, couldn't hold down a job for more than a few months. Two of the 5 guys she was with in her life molested her daughter for years...Ultimately she is not relationship material. Sweet and southern like I like them, sure. But not someone for long term. I had a relationship with a very attractive girl in my twenties that was like her but more stable. Even with HER I got bored after a couple years and started cheating, wanted to break up but couldn't get myself to do it.

Make no mistake, I treat my live in gf very well, other than this cheating. Thing is, I love my live in gf's stability, but I want the chase as well. If I just had the chase alone, I'd get tired of that and want the stability that she provides. But just having the stability that she provides is not enough for me it seems.

We tried all kinds of stuff, sex in public places, traveling the country and the world. She even suggested one time that I try to pick her up at a bar, pretending we don't know each other. Maybe we can try it, we never did because I just think it won't work, I already know the outcome, she'd come home with me.

She knows I had someone else. She could sense it and asked all the time. This wasn't some random hook up, since we were in love this girl and I texted and talked on the phone daily so she knew something was up. Even told me the other girl is just going to cheat on me, etc. My dilemma is I want the stability that she provides but also the excitement that the chase of a slightly unstable woman provides. The challenge. But I cant have both for long, I will eventually lose her...

I don't know what to do. I thought about getting excitement in other ways. Sky diving will get boring quickly so that's out. One thing I thought is her and I traveling the country in an RV together. Another thought was relocating to a different state together. The novelty would likely jazz up our relationship for a period of time.

Part of the problem is I'm antsy. I get bored with EVERYTHING quickly. Jobs, houses, relationships, etc. I move, change jobs, etc. every couple years...I even read an article that changing jobs was a way to revitalize your life/career when feeling bored in a job and it clicked; that's why I change jobs and houses so often.

The excitement of an unstable relationship makes me feel the up and down, the full spectrum of emotions, the newness of a new love, the sadness of a fight/breakup, the bliss of getting back together, never knowing what's coming next. But at the same time, like i said, I like the stability of the main girl. What to do? I have read that what MOST guys do in this situation is exactly what I'm doing: have affairs...But I feel bad doing this to her. It's selfish of me. She's a great girl and I don't want to hurt her when she inevitably catches me.

tl:dr I love the stability, reliability and dependability of my long time gf, but I don't feel the emotions that I crave from having a love affair. Not about sex with other women, no...Falling in love, fighting, breaking up, getting back together, the uncertainty of the outcome. The up and down emotions, the rush of falling in love with someone new, the sadness when we break up and don't talk, wondering if she'll text/call, the bliss when we get back together, not knowing the outcome, etc. I know I won't be happy with just the unstable women/dating, I'll crave a stable relationship. But in the stable relationship, I crave the unstable love affairs so I can feel the full spectrum of emotions. But it's not fair to my long time gf and eventually she will catch me and I will lose a great life partner. Heck, for all I know we may split in 5 or 10 more years. Nothing lasts forever. I don't know what to do, be faithful, keep having affairs or break up and just date?
 
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jnMissouri

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lol wat a load of crap you just wrote.
**** more.
Another jealous guy with no women and no money. Here's my profile info from millionaire match. Note they verified my photo ID to my profile pics, my email and my 7 figure net worth. Not everyone works at McDonalds bubba...

So rather than being jealous go earn something yourself if you have nothing of value to add to the question I'm asking.

20190924_135102.jpg
 

jnMissouri

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^ insecure much?

So when trolls follow me around claiming I'm lying and full of **** and I post proof, it means I'm "insecure". No, just means you're jealous and every single time I've looked through peoples posting history on this and other sites about ANY topic, I find out that the person is exactly what I thought. Like a guy on reddit who attacked me with comments like yours and I told him he was probably jealous because he was broke. He denied it. Looked through his posting history and sure enough just like HUNDREDS of other times before he was broke. He lost his minimum wage job at 29 and was living on his sisters couch in her apartment lol. Keep winning bud.

Or the guy on another forum who claimed I was lying about having a Masters degree. I post it. Then he claimed it meant nothing because it wasn't from Harvard. So first I was lying, then when I posted proof he claimed it meant nothing. Turned out he had a GED and worked at a box factory, lol. Yeah, calling out idiots who attack me and posting proof that they are wrong is "insecure". Jealoooous guysssss in my town.

Or the guy on here who kept attacking me in every thread until I posted his lack of any topic about any woman of his own AND a post where he said he'd pay not to be alone Friday and Saturday nights, lol. He got butt hurt and deleted the post to cover up his loser status. Keep on trolling haters, I'll still be banging hot women and getting even richer while you pretend on this forum.

Heck, most of my threads are about women I'm dating/in a relationship with and having issues with in the relationship, not trying to GET a mere date like sooo many guys on here.
 
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stovepipe

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People wouldn't call you out if you sounded genuine with the need for real insight. I didn't read more than the first couple paragraphs and understand why people comment the way they do here and on reddit. If I had and was doing everything you state, the last thing in the world I'd be thinking about is posting it on a forum.

You sound like a sensitive douche nozzle who brags about his income/worth and how you disrespect the women who stood by your side for as long as she has. To post what you did shows you're thirsty for attention, get off on making others jealous, ego as fragile as glass and a bully. All that money couldn't buy you class. So I can at least thank you for showing us that!
 

jnMissouri

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People wouldn't call you out if you sounded genuine with the need for real insight. I didn't read more than the first couple paragraphs and understand why people comment the way they do here and on reddit. If I had and was doing everything you state, the last thing in the world I'd be thinking about is posting it on a forum.

You sound like a sensitive douche nozzle who brags about his income/worth and how you disrespect the women who stood by your side for as long as she has. To post what you did shows you're thirsty for attention, get off on making others jealous, ego as fragile as glass and a bully. All that money couldn't buy you class. So I can at least thank you for showing us that!

Actually I did sound genuine and was. Except people with the income of a McDonald's employee tried to attack me out of pure jealousy, just like you. And you don't have what I have and never will, so who cares what you think really....I merely posted about my accomplishments to give perspective that I'm BORED, and asked if I should stay with my long time gf and keep cheating or break it off and just date, noting that I feel like I'm half empty if I just date but also feel half empty if I stay in a long time relationship and faithful. Less than 3% of the US population will ever achieve what I did, and I did mine at a young age BY MYSELF. I don't have the car/mortgage/work/other problems other people have. Chasing women is my biggest hobby and makes me feel alive. But not for the sex, for the game. For the feeling of falling in love. The ups and downs. Breaking up and getting back together. Yet I still want someone at home by my side under the guise that I'm faithful to her...

You remind me of the guy who claimed I didn't have advanced degrees, then when I posted it (on another forum) like I did my net worth here, he claimed it didn't matter because it wasn't from Harvard. Turned out he had nothing to post but a GED, lol....Trolllllllls.

You don't even have 100k and are inexperienced in dating by your own admission so why would you think I care about your opinion? I have multiple plates, overlapping girlfriends who know about each other/suspect it/wait for me to leave my live in and you can barely get a date....

So why even post your opinion, you're not even close to my level, lol.

If you had 100K, and no by the way, most people make their money through business not the stock market or real estate...you have NO clue about ANYTHING...
https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/how-would-you-invest-100k.240812/

"I have little to no experience dating at my age 39." lol says it all...broke and dateless...
https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/online-dating-tips-im-screwing-up.240556/
 
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lamath

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Actually I did sound genuine and was. Except people with the income of a McDonald's employee tried to attack me out of pure jealousy, just like you. And you don't have what I have and never will, so who cares what you think really....I merely posted about my accomplishments to give perspective that I'm BORED, and asked if I should stay with my long time gf and keep cheating or break it off and just date, noting that I feel like I'm half empty if I just date but also feel half empty if I stay in a long time relationship and faithful. Less than 3% of the US population will ever achieve what I did, and I did mine at a young age BY MYSELF. I don't have the car/mortgage/work/other problems other people have. Chasing women is my biggest hobby and makes me feel alive. But not for the sex, for the game. For the feeling of falling in love. The ups and downs. Breaking up and getting back together. Yet I still want someone at home by my side under the guise that I'm faithful to her...

You remind me of the guy who claimed I didn't have advanced degrees, then when I posted it (on another forum) like I did my net worth here, he claimed it didn't matter because it wasn't from Harvard. Turned out he had nothing to post but a GED, lol....Trolllllllls.

You don't even have 100k and are inexperienced in dating by your own admission so why would you think I care about your opinion? I have multiple plates, overlapping girlfriends who know about each other/suspect it/wait for me to leave my live in and you can barely get a date....

So why even post your opinion, you're not even close to my level, lol.

If you had 100K, and no by the way, most people make their money through business not the stock market or real estate...you have NO clue about ANYTHING...
https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/how-would-you-invest-100k.240812/

"I have little to no experience dating at my age 39." lol says it all...broke and dateless...
https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/online-dating-tips-im-screwing-up.240556/
Wow.......
This say alot on what kind of man you are.
 

sexymanman

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Your a millionaire. ok?
where do you like meeting women? in loud as clubs? daytime on the beach? shopping malls? online and then setting up real life dates?
Me I like going to loud as dance clubs/bars and perhaps malls/grocery stores where I have moved to. Go and spend your time in places where the women are imo.
 
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Grewd

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I'm fairly confident you're a narcissist, I'm also fairly confident you're a hopeless case and that my advice will fall on deaf ears. You'd just get defensive, tell me about how jealous I supposedly am and continue to brag about yourself like a typical narcissist. You'll also of course deny being a narcissist, because that's 101 in narcissism.

I haven't seen this level of obnoxiousness in a long time on here.
 

Suave88

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I recently I had an affair. I twas not my first time but this time it was different, I fell for the girl and almost left my gf of about a decade for her. I started doing this a few years ago but this one I fell for and she knew how to keep me chasing, the up and down. She was naturally unstable, a challenge. The year long affair ended badly, we started talking again recently but although I love the girl she is crazy and unstable, I don't want to be with HER. I enjoyed the up and down, the uncertainty, the instability, not knowing if we'd work things out or start talking again, how things would turn out...but at the same time I now realize that I like the stability of my gf who is great as far as a gf except I'm not as attracted to her as I used to be, probably because we've been together so long. It's the same piece. I want her but I want to experience the emotions I experienced during this affair. Not sure what to do...It's like I want her stability but have the instability on the side. Which isn't fair to her.

It's not necessarily the sex, it's the emotions I feel. One week the other girl and I were getting along great, next week we were fighting all the time. She'd stop texting, calling, etc. I didn't know what would come next. Whether we would reconcile, etc. This went on for about a year.

Ultimately the girl was a disaster, divorced 4 times, lost custody of her kids, couldn't hold down a job for more than a few months. Two of the 5 guys she was with in her life molested her daughter for years...Ultimately she is not relationship material. Sweet and southern like I like them, sure. But not someone for long term. I had a relationship with a very attractive girl in my twenties that was like her but more stable. Even with HER I got bored after a couple years and started cheating, wanted to break up but couldn't get myself to do it.

Make no mistake, I treat my live in gf very well, other than this cheating. Thing is, I love my live in gf's stability, but I want the chase as well. If I just had the chase alone, I'd get tired of that and want the stability that she provides. But just having the stability that she provides is not enough for me it seems.

We tried all kinds of stuff, sex in public places, traveling the country and the world. She even suggested one time that I try to pick her up at a bar, pretending we don't know each other. Maybe we can try it, we never did because I just think it won't work, I already know the outcome, she'd come home with me.

She knows I had someone else. She could sense it and asked all the time. This wasn't some random hook up, since we were in love this girl and I texted and talked on the phone daily so she knew something was up. Even told me the other girl is just going to cheat on me, etc. My dilemma is I want the stability that she provides but also the excitement that the chase of a slightly unstable woman provides. The challenge. But I cant have both for long, I will eventually lose her...

I don't know what to do. I thought about getting excitement in other ways. Sky diving will get boring quickly so that's out. One thing I thought is her and I traveling the country in an RV together. Another thought was relocating to a different state together. The novelty would likely jazz up our relationship for a period of time.

Part of the problem is I'm antsy. I get bored with EVERYTHING quickly. Jobs, houses, relationships, etc. I move, change jobs, etc. every couple years...I even read an article that changing jobs was a way to revitalize your life/career when feeling bored in a job and it clicked; that's why I change jobs and houses so often.

The excitement of an unstable relationship makes me feel the up and down, the full spectrum of emotions, the newness of a new love, the sadness of a fight/breakup, the bliss of getting back together, never knowing what's coming next. But at the same time, like i said, I like the stability of the main girl. What to do? I have read that what MOST guys do in this situation is exactly what I'm doing: have affairs...But I feel bad doing this to her. It's selfish of me. She's a great girl and I don't want to hurt her when she inevitably catches me.

tl:dr I love the stability, reliability and dependability of my long time gf, but I don't feel the emotions that I crave from having a love affair. Not about sex with other women, no...Falling in love, fighting, breaking up, getting back together, the uncertainty of the outcome. The up and down emotions, the rush of falling in love with someone new, the sadness when we break up and don't talk, wondering if she'll text/call, the bliss when we get back together, not knowing the outcome, etc. I know I won't be happy with just the unstable women/dating, I'll crave a stable relationship. But in the stable relationship, I crave the unstable love affairs so I can feel the full spectrum of emotions. But it's not fair to my long time gf and eventually she will catch me and I will lose a great life partner. Heck, for all I know we may split in 5 or 10 more years. Nothing lasts forever. I don't know what to do, be faithful, keep having affairs or break up and just date?
Hello,
Ask direct questions. Don't have us to read your extensive essay. You also went on a tangent. You came here to talk and get answers about your issue and took off on a argument against some of these guys. We are busy as fvck, so be consice. What do you want to know?
 
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Alvafe

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Actually I did sound genuine and was. Except people with the income of a McDonald's employee tried to attack me out of pure jealousy, just like you. And you don't have what I have and never will, so who cares what you think really....I merely posted about my accomplishments to give perspective that I'm BORED, and asked if I should stay with my long time gf and keep cheating or break it off and just date, noting that I feel like I'm half empty if I just date but also feel half empty if I stay in a long time relationship and faithful. Less than 3% of the US population will ever achieve what I did, and I did mine at a young age BY MYSELF. I don't have the car/mortgage/work/other problems other people have. Chasing women is my biggest hobby and makes me feel alive. But not for the sex, for the game. For the feeling of falling in love. The ups and downs. Breaking up and getting back together. Yet I still want someone at home by my side under the guise that I'm faithful to her...

You remind me of the guy who claimed I didn't have advanced degrees, then when I posted it (on another forum) like I did my net worth here, he claimed it didn't matter because it wasn't from Harvard. Turned out he had nothing to post but a GED, lol....Trolllllllls.

You don't even have 100k and are inexperienced in dating by your own admission so why would you think I care about your opinion? I have multiple plates, overlapping girlfriends who know about each other/suspect it/wait for me to leave my live in and you can barely get a date....

So why even post your opinion, you're not even close to my level, lol.

If you had 100K, and no by the way, most people make their money through business not the stock market or real estate...you have NO clue about ANYTHING...
https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/how-would-you-invest-100k.240812/

"I have little to no experience dating at my age 39." lol says it all...broke and dateless...
https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/online-dating-tips-im-screwing-up.240556/

so tell me, what is the point in being a millionary, like you love to toss around, contribute to anything? why you care someone from internet belive on you or not? why you belive having this much money make you better then others?

what I see here is a naive insecure guy, trying to look big using his bank account, with for all we could care is fake or a lie, also if you was really rich the main thing you wanted was to find a woman who liked you not your bank account, with would mean you won't tell a soul waht you have. also one litte side note, ahving a degree don't show you are competent, only you did go to school

so yes you are looking like a fake, the insecurity is pretty easy to see, now is up to you in really sitting down and try to think on what you can improve, that is for yourself not us, we could care less.


also for you first question just end it, the lTR I mean, you sure don't want to be with someone you want to have a trophy to show around, because you are that insecure, you can't even keep your word on something, so better end it and have fun
 

Suave88

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I recently I had an affair. I twas not my first time but this time it was different, I fell for the girl and almost left my gf of about a decade for her. I started doing this a few years ago but this one I fell for and she knew how to keep me chasing, the up and down. She was naturally unstable, a challenge. The year long affair ended badly, we started talking again recently but although I love the girl she is crazy and unstable, I don't want to be with HER. I enjoyed the up and down, the uncertainty, the instability, not knowing if we'd work things out or start talking again, how things would turn out...but at the same time I now realize that I like the stability of my gf who is great as far as a gf except I'm not as attracted to her as I used to be, probably because we've been together so long. It's the same piece. I want her but I want to experience the emotions I experienced during this affair. Not sure what to do...It's like I want her stability but have the instability on the side. Which isn't fair to her.

It's not necessarily the sex, it's the emotions I feel. One week the other girl and I were getting along great, next week we were fighting all the time. She'd stop texting, calling, etc. I didn't know what would come next. Whether we would reconcile, etc. This went on for about a year.

Ultimately the girl was a disaster, divorced 4 times, lost custody of her kids, couldn't hold down a job for more than a few months. Two of the 5 guys she was with in her life molested her daughter for years...Ultimately she is not relationship material. Sweet and southern like I like them, sure. But not someone for long term. I had a relationship with a very attractive girl in my twenties that was like her but more stable. Even with HER I got bored after a couple years and started cheating, wanted to break up but couldn't get myself to do it.

Make no mistake, I treat my live in gf very well, other than this cheating. Thing is, I love my live in gf's stability, but I want the chase as well. If I just had the chase alone, I'd get tired of that and want the stability that she provides. But just having the stability that she provides is not enough for me it seems.

We tried all kinds of stuff, sex in public places, traveling the country and the world. She even suggested one time that I try to pick her up at a bar, pretending we don't know each other. Maybe we can try it, we never did because I just think it won't work, I already know the outcome, she'd come home with me.

She knows I had someone else. She could sense it and asked all the time. This wasn't some random hook up, since we were in love this girl and I texted and talked on the phone daily so she knew something was up. Even told me the other girl is just going to cheat on me, etc. My dilemma is I want the stability that she provides but also the excitement that the chase of a slightly unstable woman provides. The challenge. But I cant have both for long, I will eventually lose her...

I don't know what to do. I thought about getting excitement in other ways. Sky diving will get boring quickly so that's out. One thing I thought is her and I traveling the country in an RV together. Another thought was relocating to a different state together. The novelty would likely jazz up our relationship for a period of time.

Part of the problem is I'm antsy. I get bored with EVERYTHING quickly. Jobs, houses, relationships, etc. I move, change jobs, etc. every couple years...I even read an article that changing jobs was a way to revitalize your life/career when feeling bored in a job and it clicked; that's why I change jobs and houses so often.

The excitement of an unstable relationship makes me feel the up and down, the full spectrum of emotions, the newness of a new love, the sadness of a fight/breakup, the bliss of getting back together, never knowing what's coming next. But at the same time, like i said, I like the stability of the main girl. What to do? I have read that what MOST guys do in this situation is exactly what I'm doing: have affairs...But I feel bad doing this to her. It's selfish of me. She's a great girl and I don't want to hurt her when she inevitably catches me.

tl:dr I love the stability, reliability and dependability of my long time gf, but I don't feel the emotions that I crave from having a love affair. Not about sex with other women, no...Falling in love, fighting, breaking up, getting back together, the uncertainty of the outcome. The up and down emotions, the rush of falling in love with someone new, the sadness when we break up and don't talk, wondering if she'll text/call, the bliss when we get back together, not knowing the outcome, etc. I know I won't be happy with just the unstable women/dating, I'll crave a stable relationship. But in the stable relationship, I crave the unstable love affairs so I can feel the full spectrum of emotions. But it's not fair to my long time gf and eventually she will catch me and I will lose a great life partner. Heck, for all I know we may split in 5 or 10 more years. Nothing lasts forever. I don't know what to do, be faithful, keep having affairs or break up and just date?
I assumed you want to know if you should drop your stable gf for your lover? No? Well, to me, sounds like you like more the unstable gf, and dislike the stable gf, but keep the stable gf out of her loyalty?

You don't like your stable girlfriend. She is an object to you. You like your lover gf.
I had similar experience in the past. When I kicked my loyal gf for a different gf, (after I was sure or thought I knew what I was doing) the new gf dumped me. The loyal gf attempted to get back with me. I believe you must maintain both. Worry about the romance, and not about stability with one or the other. I know the loyal gf will try to get back to you if you dump her. That is my experience.
 
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EyeOnThePrize

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I recently I had an affair. I twas not my first time but this time it was different, I fell for the girl and almost left my gf of about a decade for her. I started doing this a few years ago but this one I fell for and she knew how to keep me chasing, the up and down. She was naturally unstable, a challenge. The year long affair ended badly, we started talking again recently but although I love the girl she is crazy and unstable, I don't want to be with HER. I enjoyed the up and down, the uncertainty, the instability, not knowing if we'd work things out or start talking again, how things would turn out...but at the same time I now realize that I like the stability of my gf who is great as far as a gf except I'm not as attracted to her as I used to be, probably because we've been together so long. It's the same piece. I want her but I want to experience the emotions I experienced during this affair. Not sure what to do...It's like I want her stability but have the instability on the side. Which isn't fair to her.

It's not necessarily the sex, it's the emotions I feel. One week the other girl and I were getting along great, next week we were fighting all the time. She'd stop texting, calling, etc. I didn't know what would come next. Whether we would reconcile, etc. This went on for about a year.

Ultimately the girl was a disaster, divorced 4 times, lost custody of her kids, couldn't hold down a job for more than a few months. Two of the 5 guys she was with in her life molested her daughter for years...Ultimately she is not relationship material. Sweet and southern like I like them, sure. But not someone for long term. I had a relationship with a very attractive girl in my twenties that was like her but more stable. Even with HER I got bored after a couple years and started cheating, wanted to break up but couldn't get myself to do it.

Make no mistake, I treat my live in gf very well, other than this cheating. Thing is, I love my live in gf's stability, but I want the chase as well. If I just had the chase alone, I'd get tired of that and want the stability that she provides. But just having the stability that she provides is not enough for me it seems.

We tried all kinds of stuff, sex in public places, traveling the country and the world. She even suggested one time that I try to pick her up at a bar, pretending we don't know each other. Maybe we can try it, we never did because I just think it won't work, I already know the outcome, she'd come home with me.

She knows I had someone else. She could sense it and asked all the time. This wasn't some random hook up, since we were in love this girl and I texted and talked on the phone daily so she knew something was up. Even told me the other girl is just going to cheat on me, etc. My dilemma is I want the stability that she provides but also the excitement that the chase of a slightly unstable woman provides. The challenge. But I cant have both for long, I will eventually lose her...

I don't know what to do. I thought about getting excitement in other ways. Sky diving will get boring quickly so that's out. One thing I thought is her and I traveling the country in an RV together. Another thought was relocating to a different state together. The novelty would likely jazz up our relationship for a period of time.

Part of the problem is I'm antsy. I get bored with EVERYTHING quickly. Jobs, houses, relationships, etc. I move, change jobs, etc. every couple years...I even read an article that changing jobs was a way to revitalize your life/career when feeling bored in a job and it clicked; that's why I change jobs and houses so often.

The excitement of an unstable relationship makes me feel the up and down, the full spectrum of emotions, the newness of a new love, the sadness of a fight/breakup, the bliss of getting back together, never knowing what's coming next. But at the same time, like i said, I like the stability of the main girl. What to do? I have read that what MOST guys do in this situation is exactly what I'm doing: have affairs...But I feel bad doing this to her. It's selfish of me. She's a great girl and I don't want to hurt her when she inevitably catches me.

tl:dr I love the stability, reliability and dependability of my long time gf, but I don't feel the emotions that I crave from having a love affair. Not about sex with other women, no...Falling in love, fighting, breaking up, getting back together, the uncertainty of the outcome. The up and down emotions, the rush of falling in love with someone new, the sadness when we break up and don't talk, wondering if she'll text/call, the bliss when we get back together, not knowing the outcome, etc. I know I won't be happy with just the unstable women/dating, I'll crave a stable relationship. But in the stable relationship, I crave the unstable love affairs so I can feel the full spectrum of emotions. But it's not fair to my long time gf and eventually she will catch me and I will lose a great life partner. Heck, for all I know we may split in 5 or 10 more years. Nothing lasts forever. I don't know what to do, be faithful, keep having affairs or break up and just date?

You're displaying fairly feminine traits. You should get your ups and downs from life in general, not from women. It's easy to have an affair but it's challenging to reignite primal attraction in a LTR. And usually that's done by making your personal life challenging and fun again. You're failing to meet life's challenge by distracting yourself with affairs.

Women are not some magic fix to your boredom problems. Giving an unstable woman your attention is to purposefully work against your own personal growth. It messes with your mind if you let it. Let a real estate or stock venture teach you about risky investments. Inevitably an unstable woman will burn you or you'll leave before that happens.

as for your LTR you should be focusing on and enjoying giving to your partner. If that isn't appealing then you should get rid of her. I have a feeling the boredom you feel with your gf is a personal problem though. You are attempting to fill voids in your life with women when those voids can only be filled with yourself.
 

thinker

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@jnMissouri I have read some of your other posts and always thought you were a d-bag loser. You do not come across as a man. You seem to have the impulse control and maturity of a 4 yr old on meth. You are an insecure little beetch that doesn't even have the imagination of using different insults in your attempts at bullying forum members on that disagree with you. You may have money but I don't care. You sound like a bore who can only attract gold diggers and leaches around you. In my life I have met quit a few dip ****s like you and the moment the gold diggers and the leaches couldn't get any thing from them that wasn't material in nature they were left completely alone, some of these people only had their lawyers show up to their funerals. That girl friend of 10 yrs is apparently a saint to be around you for that long. By the way my brothers and I have done quit well with real estate and I have known others that have done quit well with stocks. Now why don't you go try to see if someone or something can force some maturity up your Mc ass, OK pumpkin puss.
 

Suave88

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Another jealous guy with no women and no money. Here's my profile info from millionaire match. Note they verified my photo ID to my profile pics, my email and my 7 figure net worth. Not everyone works at McDonalds bubba...

So rather than being jealous go earn something yourself if you have nothing of value to add to the question I'm asking.

View attachment 3071
Let me see your picture.
 

Suave88

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I recently I had an affair. I twas not my first time but this time it was different, I fell for the girl and almost left my gf of about a decade for her. I started doing this a few years ago but this one I fell for and she knew how to keep me chasing, the up and down. She was naturally unstable, a challenge. The year long affair ended badly, we started talking again recently but although I love the girl she is crazy and unstable, I don't want to be with HER. I enjoyed the up and down, the uncertainty, the instability, not knowing if we'd work things out or start talking again, how things would turn out...but at the same time I now realize that I like the stability of my gf who is great as far as a gf except I'm not as attracted to her as I used to be, probably because we've been together so long. It's the same piece. I want her but I want to experience the emotions I experienced during this affair. Not sure what to do...It's like I want her stability but have the instability on the side. Which isn't fair to her.

If you don't want to be with HER? why do you ask us for our advice. Just be on and off with her. period.

It's not necessarily the sex, it's the emotions I feel. One week the other girl and I were getting along great, next week we were fighting all the time. She'd stop texting, calling, etc. I didn't know what would come next. Whether we would reconcile, etc. This went on for about a year.

Are you masochistic? you like pain? the impossible?

Ultimately the girl was a disaster, divorced 4 times, lost custody of her kids, couldn't hold down a job for more than a few months. Two of the 5 guys she was with in her life molested her daughter for years...Ultimately she is not relationship material. Sweet and southern like I like them, sure. But not someone for long term. I had a relationship with a very attractive girl in my twenties that was like her but more stable. Even with HER I got bored after a couple years and started cheating, wanted to break up but couldn't get myself to do it.


Sounds like a Texas blonde....

Make no mistake, I treat my live in gf very well, other than this cheating. Thing is, I love my live in gf's stability, but I want the chase as well. If I just had the chase alone, I'd get tired of that and want the stability that she provides. But just having the stability that she provides is not enough for me it seems.

Make sure you maintain the cook at home. My grandmother used to say " A man always have two women, one at home and another in his mind"

We tried all kinds of stuff, sex in public places, traveling the country and the world. She even suggested one time that I try to pick her up at a bar, pretending we don't know each other. Maybe we can try it, we never did because I just think it won't work, I already know the outcome, she'd come home with me.

You don't like her sex..........

She knows I had someone else. She could sense it and asked all the time. This wasn't some random hook up, since we were in love this girl and I texted and talked on the phone daily so she knew something was up. Even told me the other girl is just going to cheat on me, etc. My dilemma is I want the stability that she provides but also the excitement that the chase of a slightly unstable woman provides. The challenge. But I cant have both for long, I will eventually lose her...

Your the prize, rich Fella MF, she won't leave you. Make sure you sing the
"Prenuptial Agreement"

I don't know what to do. I thought about getting excitement in other ways. Sky diving will get boring quickly so that's out. One thing I thought is her and I traveling the country in an RV together. Another thought was relocating to a different state together. The novelty would likely jazz up our relationship for a period of time.

Sound like a guy born in 1978


Part of the problem is I'm antsy. I get bored with EVERYTHING quickly. Jobs, houses, relationships, etc. I move, change jobs, etc. every couple years...I even read an article that changing jobs was a way to revitalize your life/career when feeling bored in a job and it clicked; that's why I change jobs and houses so often.

Give up to me some of your money??? before you get bore of it.

The excitement of an unstable relationship makes me feel the up and down, the full spectrum of emotions, the newness of a new love, the sadness of a fight/breakup, the bliss of getting back together, never knowing what's coming next. But at the same time, like i said, I like the stability of the main girl. What to do? I have read that what MOST guys do in this situation is exactly what I'm doing: have affairs...But I feel bad doing this to her. It's selfish of me. She's a great girl and I don't want to hurt her when she inevitably catches me.

We cannot decide for you. if you feel bad, buy her some stuff. a second wife. You are not doing anything to her. Has she ask you to marry you? A romance is a romance. It broke ounce before and it will brake again. Previous behavior can tell about future behavior. Do you feel me?


tl:dr I love the stability, reliability and dependability of my long time gf, but I don't feel the emotions that I crave from having a love affair. Not about sex with other women, no...Falling in love, fighting, breaking up, getting back together, the uncertainty of the outcome. The up and down emotions, the rush of falling in love with someone new, the sadness when we break up and don't talk, wondering if she'll text/call, the bliss when we get back together, not knowing the outcome, etc. I know I won't be happy with just the unstable women/dating, I'll crave a stable relationship. But in the stable relationship, I crave the unstable love affairs so I can feel the full spectrum of emotions. But it's not fair to my long time gf and eventually she will catch me and I will lose a great life partner. Heck, for all I know we may split in 5 or 10 more years. Nothing lasts forever. I don't know what to do, be faithful, keep having affairs or break up and just date?

Keep havingsex............fvcking her
 
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