Soma
Banned
haha, that was some ****ed up shiet. Poor dude.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I Love Street Fight Stories!!!
- Thread starter Ken785
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
This Times For Real
Don Juan
I guess so. Ive never been in a real fight. Does that make me a pvssy?
WestCoaster
Master Don Juan
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- May 8, 2003
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- 2,028
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Actually only
... p-ssies write about others street fights and claim them as their own.
And hey, you're the one living in San Francisco, not us silly boy
... p-ssies write about others street fights and claim them as their own.
And hey, you're the one living in San Francisco, not us silly boy
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
agreed only wusses tell about others street fights and claim that they are there own.
I am getting this stuff 24/7 like they actually found stuff about my past like dead family and other stuff to make fun of me(I asked the kid while he was making fun of me if this is all he did and he answered yes. Pathetic. shaked head in disgrace). I took this stuff from the kid for about a month or two because of my long standing belief of not lowering myself to his standards. but after a few things that was told by my dad and other things.
To cut a very long story short of what kind of abuse I took(see: doormat). The two teachers(I was in the lunchroom) were talking to the principal or something like that and left the lunch room. I ended up walking up to him and punching his face four or five times and where I punched him swelling showed up. A kid(a good friend who wanted to make sure I didn't get into trouble) grappled me and took me back to the table I was at originally. The kid ran out of the lunchroom and to the bathroom. A friend followed to see why and he was looking at his face to see how bad it was.
He then went to science class with bruises on his face. The teacher found out and wrote me up(she wasn't even there). I got a one day suspension because of the circumstances involving it and how long I took his "verbal abuse" said the principal. I rationalized what happened with my parents.
The kid then said he was going to "beat the sh!t out of me". So I confront him and say meet me at the post office. I showed up that night at the time and waited an hour. He never showed up. So it saved me alot of problems because everyone ended up making fun of the kid for being a wuss. Now he is taking alot of the same that I took because of what happened to him.
I am now slowly regaining respect from my friends. It is a tough process but this site is helping me alot. I don't take anyones crap anymore. don't care who it is.
Hope you enjoyed this story but my fighting experience is rather limited (one other fight that happened in Kindergarden in a 3 kids vs 1 me odds. I got crushed because they were a 5th grader, 6th grader, and a 1st grader. that is a whole other story though.) although I am going to take up Jeet Kun Do or another fighting style during the winter after baseball season ends.
BTW WC if I write anything down on this site it is the truth.
EDIT: After trying to remember fights I came across another one but it was just like this one only the making fun of me was alot less and I was a 9th grader and he was a 12th grader. I punched him in the stomach (not hard because I was a weakling. i.e. doing thirty bench presses. highest amount was 45 pounds. Now it is 110 with alot of ohter exercises I am very happy with this change). He ran away from me and no teacher was around so I chased him all over the lunchroom and tackled the kid. That hurt him. He gained respect for me and never made fun of me again.I didn't even get into trouble but the principal came in as soon as it was over and looked around and the kid was still rubbing his sides after being tackled into a table. He even became a good friend of mine.
My story sounds abit like yours. This isn't really a street fight, more of "assualt".
I am getting this stuff 24/7 like they actually found stuff about my past like dead family and other stuff to make fun of me(I asked the kid while he was making fun of me if this is all he did and he answered yes. Pathetic. shaked head in disgrace). I took this stuff from the kid for about a month or two because of my long standing belief of not lowering myself to his standards. but after a few things that was told by my dad and other things.
To cut a very long story short of what kind of abuse I took(see: doormat). The two teachers(I was in the lunchroom) were talking to the principal or something like that and left the lunch room. I ended up walking up to him and punching his face four or five times and where I punched him swelling showed up. A kid(a good friend who wanted to make sure I didn't get into trouble) grappled me and took me back to the table I was at originally. The kid ran out of the lunchroom and to the bathroom. A friend followed to see why and he was looking at his face to see how bad it was.
He then went to science class with bruises on his face. The teacher found out and wrote me up(she wasn't even there
). I got a one day suspension because of the circumstances involving it and how long I took his "verbal abuse" said the principal. I rationalized what happened with my parents. The kid then said he was going to "beat the sh!t out of me". So I confront him and say meet me at the post office. I showed up that night at the time and waited an hour. He never showed up. So it saved me alot of problems because everyone ended up making fun of the kid for being a wuss. Now he is taking alot of the same that I took because of what happened to him.
I am now slowly regaining respect from my friends. It is a tough process but this site is helping me alot. I don't take anyones crap anymore. don't care who it is.
Hope you enjoyed this story but my fighting experience is rather limited (one other fight that happened in Kindergarden in a 3 kids vs 1 me odds. I got crushed because they were a 5th grader, 6th grader, and a 1st grader. that is a whole other story though.) although I am going to take up Jeet Kun Do or another fighting style during the winter after baseball season ends.
BTW WC if I write anything down on this site it is the truth.
EDIT: After trying to remember fights I came across another one but it was just like this one only the making fun of me was alot less and I was a 9th grader and he was a 12th grader. I punched him in the stomach (not hard because I was a weakling. i.e. doing thirty bench presses. highest amount was 45 pounds. Now it is 110 with alot of ohter exercises I am very happy with this change). He ran away from me and no teacher was around so I chased him all over the lunchroom and tackled the kid
. That hurt him. He gained respect for me and never made fun of me again.I didn't even get into trouble but the principal came in as soon as it was over and looked around and the kid was still rubbing his sides after being tackled into a table. He even became a good friend of mine.
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WestCoaster
Master Don Juan
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Good story Baseball
I believe your stuff DJ, it's some of the other stuff that's exaggerated that gets me.
That said, I'm not a big advocate of violence, but there usually comes a time in junior high or high school where some big mouth has to have his yap shut. It's the only way people will shut up.
Amazingly, our school systems do little to prevent verbal abuse, thus escalating the use of physical abuse.
Usually one or two shots at a guy in junior high will shut him up for high school.
I believe your stuff DJ, it's some of the other stuff that's exaggerated that gets me.
That said, I'm not a big advocate of violence, but there usually comes a time in junior high or high school where some big mouth has to have his yap shut. It's the only way people will shut up.
Amazingly, our school systems do little to prevent verbal abuse, thus escalating the use of physical abuse.
Usually one or two shots at a guy in junior high will shut him up for high school.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
forgot the kids punishment for verbal abuse
a slap on the wrist with a warning of don't do it again . I got pi$$ed off when they said that could get sent to juvy, $385 dollar court costs, and some other things and he gets no punishment at all but they did try to send us to group therepy. I managed to wiggle my way out of it with some fast talking on my part and most of the truth. When I got home my dad asked me three questions.
1.) Why did you punch him?
I told him
2.) after laughing He said "did you hurt him"
My answer not enough and he responded with "Next time you are going to beat someone up at least make it worth your while and kick the sh!t out of him."
3.) out of curiousity was it fun?
I said "Yes it was. It felt great getting that built up frustration on him."
Note: I like to beat someone with my tounge instead of muscles. But worst came to worst.
You know what gets me though the fact that teachers can only stop fights by grabbing the students hands from punching each other or they get fired. One teacher got yelled at(I didn't see it but read about it in the news a year or two ago)because two girls were fighting a teacher grappled the one girl to stop the fighting and the kid yelled at him. She said that she fondled her breasts(this is a 7th grader and they barely have breasts). the video camera in the room got the teacher out of problems.
I think that this would escalate violence though because hey the teacher can't do anything lets just kill each other and sort it out later.
And now he still tries to pop in a few shots at me. I tell him each time if he wants to make fun of me. I tell him "you are lucky that I don't want to screw the rest of my life up on a worthless fight that I will forget about in two years anyways. I have a life to think about but if you want to fight me meet me off school grounds and I will just pummel you." He has yet to take up my offer. He is a big man all talk and no bite
a slap on the wrist with a warning of don't do it again
. I got pi$$ed off when they said that could get sent to juvy, $385 dollar court costs, and some other things and he gets no punishment at all but they did try to send us to group therepy. I managed to wiggle my way out of it with some fast talking on my part and most of the truth. When I got home my dad asked me three questions. 1.) Why did you punch him?
I told him
2.) after laughing He said "did you hurt him"
My answer not enough and he responded with "Next time you are going to beat someone up at least make it worth your while and kick the sh!t out of him."
3.) out of curiousity was it fun?
I said "Yes it was. It felt great getting that built up frustration on him."
Note: I like to beat someone with my tounge instead of muscles. But worst came to worst.
You know what gets me though the fact that teachers can only stop fights by grabbing the students hands from punching each other or they get fired
. One teacher got yelled at(I didn't see it but read about it in the news a year or two ago)because two girls were fighting a teacher grappled the one girl to stop the fighting and the kid yelled at him. She said that she fondled her breasts(this is a 7th grader and they barely have breasts). the video camera in the room got the teacher out of problems. I think that this would escalate violence though because hey the teacher can't do anything lets just kill each other and sort it out later
.And now he still tries to pop in a few shots at me. I tell him each time if he wants to make fun of me. I tell him "you are lucky that I don't want to screw the rest of my life up on a worthless fight that I will forget about in two years anyways. I have a life to think about but if you want to fight me meet me off school grounds and I will just pummel you."
He has yet to take up my offer. He is a big man all talk and no bite
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comic_relief
Master Don Juan
I hate the school system nowadays
It won't protect the youth. The kids that are getting ripped can't do a thing about it except tattle. WTF. Back in my dad's and uncles day which was 50 years ago they gave you paddle on the butt and sent you home for something like this.
One kid was making fun of my uncle and he just crushed him when it began. So it wouldn't have got that bad as what happened to me. This kid had black and blue marks all over his face and all the teacher said "serves you right. for making fun of someone" That kid had respect for my uncle ever since.
Another time someone was stealing my dad's wood for workshop out of the lockers. So my dad did up an excellent one, little maneuveur. He made up One of the best works that he could have made up. He put it in his locker and heated up the handle to get inside of it(plus 400 degrees). He left and the kid tried to steal from him and the skin of his hand bonded with the lock. They had to call the hospitol to get it off of his hand. He got one of the worst beatings by that teacher. No parents called, no police, just a paddle. Now if you do something like this, your entire future goes in the toilot.
Once again the homo agenda that were all soft pvssies prevails on modern society. This stuff sickens me to the bone
Back in AFC land, I said "I don't want to fight even if you are cracking 100's of insults at my expense"
In the land of the DJ, I say if you want to insult me, you sure will get it right back in spades"
It won't protect the youth. The kids that are getting ripped can't do a thing about it except tattle. WTF. Back in my dad's and uncles day which was 50 years ago they gave you paddle on the butt and sent you home for something like this.
One kid was making fun of my uncle and he just crushed him when it began. So it wouldn't have got that bad as what happened to me. This kid had black and blue marks all over his face and all the teacher said "serves you right. for making fun of someone" That kid had respect for my uncle ever since.
Another time someone was stealing my dad's wood for workshop out of the lockers. So my dad did up an excellent one, little maneuveur. He made up One of the best works that he could have made up. He put it in his locker and heated up the handle to get inside of it(plus 400 degrees). He left and the kid tried to steal from him and the skin of his hand bonded with the lock. They had to call the hospitol to get it off of his hand. He got one of the worst beatings by that teacher. No parents called, no police, just a paddle. Now if you do something like this, your entire future goes in the toilot.
Once again the homo agenda that were all soft pvssies prevails on modern society. This stuff sickens me to the bone
Back in AFC land, I said "I don't want to fight even if you are cracking 100's of insults at my expense"
In the land of the DJ, I say if you want to insult me, you sure will get it right back in spades"
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comic_relief
Master Don Juan
bump lets hear some new ones
undesputable
Master Don Juan
Im too scared to get in a fight....not for me but for whoever i get in a fight with. there are several reasons why, primarly bc I dont loose my cool very easily and would much rather work things out than fight, so if i lost my temper as to fight somebody i would like explode. And the second reason is that ive been training jiu jitsu, kickboxing, and full out vale tudo now for a while. So i do fight every week, but with my sparring partners and in controlled situations.
A couple of weeks ago, there was this new guy from another gym that supposedbly knew how to fight so we went at vale tudo (anything goes). And i just beat the **** out of him. standing up i was landing pretty big punches, then took him down, gave him the top position in the closed guard. By that point he thought he had me and thought that he was going to be able to just punch the **** out of my face, so when he swings, i pull to the side and pull an easy armbar on him, if it was a real fight his arm would have been broken in a matter of seconds. And this was a guy bigger than me and that "knew" how to fight.
i havent gotten in a street fight since i was in 7th grade.
A couple of weeks ago, there was this new guy from another gym that supposedbly knew how to fight so we went at vale tudo (anything goes). And i just beat the **** out of him. standing up i was landing pretty big punches, then took him down, gave him the top position in the closed guard. By that point he thought he had me and thought that he was going to be able to just punch the **** out of my face, so when he swings, i pull to the side and pull an easy armbar on him, if it was a real fight his arm would have been broken in a matter of seconds. And this was a guy bigger than me and that "knew" how to fight.
i havent gotten in a street fight since i was in 7th grade.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
alphawolfx
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2005
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- 302
- Reaction score
- 1
i don't know if this qualifies as an actual "fight" or not
when i was in 6th grade (small, weakling, frail) there was this bully from 8th grade (kind of big, built like a fridge). i had no idea who he was, he just comes up to me one day and starts physically pushing me around.
i go to the school counselot's, they couldn't do anything about it.
so the next day that he pushed me around, i stabbed him in the arm with a pencil. He had to get a tetanus shot... but i was let off the hook since I'd already gone to the counselors and they hadn't done a goddamn thing.
even after i stabbed him he wanted to come after me, but i had a small water gun filled with rubbing alcohol that i threated to shoot him in the eyes with - ever had rubbing alcohol in your eyes? if you did you wouldn't be able to read this.
that's my story.
when i was in 6th grade (small, weakling, frail) there was this bully from 8th grade (kind of big, built like a fridge). i had no idea who he was, he just comes up to me one day and starts physically pushing me around.
i go to the school counselot's, they couldn't do anything about it.
so the next day that he pushed me around, i stabbed him in the arm with a pencil. He had to get a tetanus shot... but i was let off the hook since I'd already gone to the counselors and they hadn't done a goddamn thing.
even after i stabbed him he wanted to come after me, but i had a small water gun filled with rubbing alcohol that i threated to shoot him in the eyes with - ever had rubbing alcohol in your eyes? if you did you wouldn't be able to read this.
that's my story.
shagnscoob
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2004
- Messages
- 329
- Reaction score
- 1
yeah because violence is impressive, i didnt really read any of this thread except the first post which just proved to me that your a moron. and your family is probably pretty hicklike.
good luck in life if your proud of some dumb **** like that.
good luck in life if your proud of some dumb **** like that.
This was way back in 8th or 9th grade.. there was this bully at my bus stop who would verbally abuse me everyday (mostly racial slurs) and take the contents of my backpack and throw it in the trash all the time. About half way into the school year, I could no longer stand him anymore so I punched him. He fought back and was clearly stronger than me. He threatened to beat the s*** out of me and chased me around the block. I then grabbed this small plastic container in my backpack (think it was a water bottle) and threw it as hard as I can into his eye. It hit him straight on and he ended up having to nurse his eyes with his hands for a long time. The next day, he (not surprisingly) seemed really pissed and told me how he had to go home sick that day b/c of the incident. He didn't say anything else to me or tried to fight again. For the rest of the school year we avoided each other. I kinda felt bad that I overreacted with violence and could have caused him permanent damage to the eyes but it felt great to no longer take any s***.
Just so you know violence isnt funny.
I live in Hartford and its pretty rough sometimes. A 14 year old boy and his mother were at mcdonalds 2 days ago. The mother gets into an argument with another lady and they begin to fight. The boy runs over to help his mother out and the other ladys stabs the kid. He died. If you dont believe me check the newspaper.
I live in Hartford and its pretty rough sometimes. A 14 year old boy and his mother were at mcdonalds 2 days ago. The mother gets into an argument with another lady and they begin to fight. The boy runs over to help his mother out and the other ladys stabs the kid. He died. If you dont believe me check the newspaper.
diplomatic_lie
Master Don Juan
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I once beat up a homeless man.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
DrBeard
Banned
Sum guy was givin me some lip last week and I told him to suck his own d*ck if he has one. He was ready to hit me but I stared the nobf*ck in the eyes and didnt back down. He went off saying he'd deck me but he is gonna let me off and when he was walking away me and my mates lobbed some bricks at him!
alphawolfx
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2005
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- 302
- Reaction score
- 1
you forget... it's DrBeard
why didn't you just fly over him and take a crap on his head?
why didn't you just fly over him and take a crap on his head?
shagnscoob
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2004
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- 1
rofl i can only assume that drbeard is the pigeon kid
TonyTheTigerOI
Master Don Juan
That was the ONLY time I've ever seen a fancy kick work in a street fight. But I gotta say, that shiet was awesome as hell.
A friend of mine has competed in the youth freestyle martial arts tournament since he was 13. He is 5'3, kinda chubby, very guido looking. He is a really nice kid, one of my most genuine friends.
the beginning of last summer we were at a teen dance, we are both 17. I look 22ish, he looks about 19. I know the security, I know the bartenders, I know a few of the "city kids" - im a bit of a legend for dancing with girls who WORK THERE on the bar. My friend is pretty shy, and only talks to girls if I wing for him.
Im walking thru the dance floor, slowly making my way to the bar, when I see this GORGEOUS puerto rican girl. I smile and wave at her. She flips me off?! So I walk up, and say "Im anthony, whats your name!" She sceptically raises an eyebrow... I lean close "forget it" and turn around, stick my ass out, and dance like a girl with my butt on her crotch. Surprisingly, she starts dancing too!
A few songs later she was grinding on me so hard I thought my cell was going to break. Strong eyecontact... I was leaning in to kiss... and someone pulls me, by the collar of the shirt, off this girl. I imagined it was some huge boyfriend, so i instinctively put up my hands and get ready to fight... IT WAS A FAT GIRL!!! She started yelling at me "who do you think you are!?" blablabla. I just laughed at her. She started swearing and pushing me. I told her she was too fat to be *****y. While I was laughing, she punched me in the face - HARD! I caught my balance, and grabbed her other hand (which was about to connect, too) and push her onto her fat ass. I turn to the hot girl, tell her to find me when her friends cool-out, and go to the bar.
I am sipping my water laughing, telling my friend (from above) what happened when 3 semi-ghetto (dressed like thugs, but not from the city) kids walked up talking ****:
Thug1 - Yo ***** you think its cool to be hitting girls?
Anth - *****? Me? My names Anthony, whats your name?
Thug1 - **** you!
Thug2 - shut the **** up
Anth - You guys seem really angry about something, whats bothering you?
Thug1 - Why'd you hit <girls name>
Anth - Ohhh youre angry about me tussling with that fat girl?
Thug3 <pushes me>
Anth <I put my hands up, smiling> - Cant we be friends?
Thug1 <puts his chest agaisnt mine>
My friend, whos name is also anthony, stands up, sets his drink down, and kicks of his shoes.
Anth <slowly extends arms, pushing the kid away from me> - Are you sure you dont want to be friends?
Thug3 - This kid things hes funny
Anth - I AM funny. Hey Anthony, these kids dont wanna be our friends?
The kids get really angry, start yelling, but its obvious they are kinda afraid.
Anth - If we cant be friends, you guys should probably leave. <they are still talking ****, I look at my watch> If you arent out of my sight in 30 seconds Im going to have to kick your ass.
The kids all laugh and step a little closer. I begin counting... when 30, 29, 28... and then my friend hits thug3 in the face, catching him by surprise knocking him clean over. I headbut thug 1 (whos in my face) and then tackle him, he hits me in the face once or twice, but as soon as I hit him and his head hits the floor, hes done.
My friend had kicked thug2 in the stomach and kneed him in the face, so he was done. I am finishing up with thug1 when thug 3 gets up and rushes my friend anthony.
Now, the kid is about 5'11 - thats 8 inches taller than my friend. He begins runnin at him from 7-10 ft away. My friend dodges his swing. They square up, the kids hands in tight fists, my friends are loosely at his sides. The kid takes a step forward and my friend lunges forward and roundhouses the kid in the face!! Ive never seen someone so short and pudgy jump so high... it was ****ing ridiculous! The kid goes down hard, and the bouncers run in ready to kill us... but they saw it was me, and let us leave out the back before the cops showed up. Good ****ing times.
A friend of mine has competed in the youth freestyle martial arts tournament since he was 13. He is 5'3, kinda chubby, very guido looking. He is a really nice kid, one of my most genuine friends.
the beginning of last summer we were at a teen dance, we are both 17. I look 22ish, he looks about 19. I know the security, I know the bartenders, I know a few of the "city kids" - im a bit of a legend for dancing with girls who WORK THERE on the bar. My friend is pretty shy, and only talks to girls if I wing for him.
Im walking thru the dance floor, slowly making my way to the bar, when I see this GORGEOUS puerto rican girl. I smile and wave at her. She flips me off?! So I walk up, and say "Im anthony, whats your name!" She sceptically raises an eyebrow... I lean close "forget it" and turn around, stick my ass out, and dance like a girl with my butt on her crotch. Surprisingly, she starts dancing too!
A few songs later she was grinding on me so hard I thought my cell was going to break. Strong eyecontact... I was leaning in to kiss... and someone pulls me, by the collar of the shirt, off this girl. I imagined it was some huge boyfriend, so i instinctively put up my hands and get ready to fight... IT WAS A FAT GIRL!!! She started yelling at me "who do you think you are!?" blablabla. I just laughed at her. She started swearing and pushing me. I told her she was too fat to be *****y. While I was laughing, she punched me in the face - HARD! I caught my balance, and grabbed her other hand (which was about to connect, too) and push her onto her fat ass. I turn to the hot girl, tell her to find me when her friends cool-out, and go to the bar.
I am sipping my water laughing, telling my friend (from above) what happened when 3 semi-ghetto (dressed like thugs, but not from the city) kids walked up talking ****:
Thug1 - Yo ***** you think its cool to be hitting girls?
Anth - *****? Me? My names Anthony, whats your name?
Thug1 - **** you!
Thug2 - shut the **** up
Anth - You guys seem really angry about something, whats bothering you?
Thug1 - Why'd you hit <girls name>
Anth - Ohhh youre angry about me tussling with that fat girl?
Thug3 <pushes me>
Anth <I put my hands up, smiling> - Cant we be friends?
Thug1 <puts his chest agaisnt mine>
My friend, whos name is also anthony, stands up, sets his drink down, and kicks of his shoes.
Anth <slowly extends arms, pushing the kid away from me> - Are you sure you dont want to be friends?
Thug3 - This kid things hes funny
Anth - I AM funny. Hey Anthony, these kids dont wanna be our friends?
The kids get really angry, start yelling, but its obvious they are kinda afraid.
Anth - If we cant be friends, you guys should probably leave. <they are still talking ****, I look at my watch> If you arent out of my sight in 30 seconds Im going to have to kick your ass.
The kids all laugh and step a little closer. I begin counting... when 30, 29, 28... and then my friend hits thug3 in the face, catching him by surprise knocking him clean over. I headbut thug 1 (whos in my face) and then tackle him, he hits me in the face once or twice, but as soon as I hit him and his head hits the floor, hes done.
My friend had kicked thug2 in the stomach and kneed him in the face, so he was done. I am finishing up with thug1 when thug 3 gets up and rushes my friend anthony.
Now, the kid is about 5'11 - thats 8 inches taller than my friend. He begins runnin at him from 7-10 ft away. My friend dodges his swing. They square up, the kids hands in tight fists, my friends are loosely at his sides. The kid takes a step forward and my friend lunges forward and roundhouses the kid in the face!! Ive never seen someone so short and pudgy jump so high... it was ****ing ridiculous! The kid goes down hard, and the bouncers run in ready to kill us... but they saw it was me, and let us leave out the back before the cops showed up. Good ****ing times.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.