I love a woman with BPd

[Bible_Belt]

I am unsure of what this woman may do to hoover me back in ?


Freudian slip?

I know what my bpd girl does to "hoover" me back in. :crackup:

Seriously, though, the best way is to abandon her without her anything dramatic. Just drift apart. I will still answer an occasional email; I even called her once because I needed to know something.

The disorder is about a fear of abandonment. You can only expect to bring out the worst in her when you are doing just that. But the sad, sad irony with bpd is that they seek to re-live a tragic childhood abandonment over and over, and that abandonment does not exist in a happy and normal relationship. So she will do what it takes to get what she needs, usually cheat on you to re-stoke the abandonment fires. And that is why you have to leave her. You can just disappear, but I think it is easier to orchestrate a simple drifting apart. You have to be strong, though, and keep your emotional distance. That is hard enough with any girl, but bpd girls have emotional super powers. Among the men who will love a bpd girl over her life, only the strong survive. Be strong.

 

[darkstarrr]

troll?

 

[KontrollerX]

"Freudian slip?

I know what my bpd girl does to "hoover" me back in."

Heh heh that "hoover" vacuum reference is a popular phrase among BPD support forums which refers to the emotional manipulation and lies a BPD tells someone who manages to get up enough courage to break up with them in order to get that person to go back with them.

In other words as soon as you leave they attempt to suck you back in like a vacuum sucks up crumbs.

Yeah though sometimes the sucking takes on a literal form as in your case BB. :crackup:

"Among the men who will love a bpd girl over her life, only the strong survive. Be strong."

Or be stronger yet and get all of the BPD's out of your life once they are recognized as such and begin the difficult journey towards finding healthy chicks.

 

[Aenigma]

Heh. I remember the "hoover" stage with my bpd ex. She couldn't handle the non-chalant see you later I don't care you're a ***** get lost I'm dumping you type breakup- every time I did it she would hoover and try to get back into the relationship- I think the inability to manipulate and control the outcome/direction of a relationship drives these girls absolutly bat**** insane. They'll keep on "hoovering" in one form or another until they can get the emotional satisfaction of being the one to dump AND have the guy begging to stay with them/confessing their undying love.... I could be wrong though..... This might be a hot girl thing more then a bpd girl thing.

 

[horaholic]

All of u guys who scream that BPD women are screwed in the head and are like AIDS, u guys need to shut the hell up. My sister is BPD and it is something u don't choose and she happens to be very intelligent and attended one of the top colleges in America. Yes, high intelligence and BPD seem to go hand in hand.

Next time u see a physically handicapped person, u would not tease him/her right? Same thing with BPD, it is something u are born with, at least a higher proclivity of having it is genetically determined.

You dont have to date her, so why dont you shut it? Noone here said they were stupid, we are just saying they are undateable, and will destroy your life. Just because it isnt their fault, doesnt mean they shouldn't be avoided at all costs. My sister is BPD too, and I will never stick up for the way she manipulates guys.

 

[livejim56]

ok no one anwered what they are capable of doing once I change my phone numbers and all. I am scared of the Historonics that may erupt

 

[horaholic]

I wouldnt put anything past them. You just have to look at her overall personality. Did she ever violently freak out for no good reason? Did she ever parade other guys in front of you to fvck with you?

For example, mine was very nonviolent and nonconfrontational. When she had an issue, she would merely distance herself, and always seem to be with one of her 'guy friends'. She never did anything nutso when I dumped her, but she never stopped trying. She would call ever couple of weeks, usually drunk in the middle of the night, and no matter how much I told her to fvck off, she would keep at it. Once a year, I would break down and bang her for about a month, then dissappear on her. She lied her way back in my life. The first time, I hung out with her after I dumped her, she called me right after easter. I had just watched Jesus of Nazareth, so I was in a 'forgiving' mood. I didnt want to be angry with her anyway, so I talked with her. She convinced me that she was moving back to Portugal in a week, forever, and wanted to see me one last time. I finally agreed, and it turned into a month of FB status.

Like DarthAngel said, they cant help it, and they are just very disturbed people, that have no business in a relationship, so I cut a little slack in the forgiveness department. IT DOESNT MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD FALL FOR THEIR LIES, THOUGH!!

Basically, mine was just so spoiled, that noone has ever successfully walked away from her, especially, and 'scumbag' like me! So the most she does, is call, and call, and call, and feed me lies trying to win be back. (The one about her having a brain tumor and having less than a month to live, was a good one! VERY convincing.) She actually hasnt tried to call me in about 6 months. Maybe she moved on. Maybe she did die. I dont know. Its fvcked up, cuz Im actually wondering, and I shouldnt.

Anyway, you need to look at how she is. Tell us a little about her, and how she reacts to things, and we can give you a better idea.

 

[livejim56]

My Bpd woman

She has never been vilaonet, yes she breaks up wit me every week. Her new trcik is to take the phone off the hook and send me emails saying she needs time and will be unreachable- usually lasts 3 or 5 days. Then she wants to come over and F*ck like nothing happened. We are good for maybe 2 days. But the lies get biiger and Bigger

 

[horaholic]

Get away!!! Take a wild guess at what she's doing while "she needs time" for three to five days!!!!! Then, try to take a wild guess at who she's doing it with. I guarantee you one thing, she aint by herself! I've been there, a lot of us have. Same story. I feel you. You dont want to believe it. You cling to some glimmer of hope that she will change. People you trust, tell you she's trouble, but you refuse to believe, dont you? She blames everything on you, when she fvcks up. None of her stories make any sense. You dont even know who she really is, do you? Whenever you try to get away, she puts on an angel act, and becomes your wet dream for a little while, doesnt she?

If she doesnt have violent, or psycho tendencies, I wouldnt worry about what she does. Take the worst you've seen her, and amplify it. IF you dont think she's the type to call the cops with a bogus charge, or stab you or something, dont worry. You seriously need to get away NOW! Read all of our stories again, if you have to. I've only disclosed a small fraction of what mine did to me!

 

[Bible_Belt]

hey livejim, I am in this with you...

my bpd girl called me just now begging me to come over...I told her 'no' but this is not easy. You know how seductive they are...

I love her...I am crazy about her...but I just turned her down...if you love a bpd girl, then you understand.

 

[livejim56]

ok it is still going on, she showed up at 4 am to fix my lunch as I was going fishing, have not heard from her since- but it is friday so I guess she ishaving fun. This Bpd stuff sucks

 

[Bible_Belt]

mine was calling and texting last night trying to get my girlfriend and I to come hang out with her and her Mom. I think her Mom is bpd, too.

 

[Mr CIDH]

BPD woman hardly feel anything, they're described as feeling void inside. They need huge emotions to feel something because they are emotionally dampened.

Normal emotions = feel nothing. Huge emotions = feel a little bit.

BPD women need emotions. Same acounts for drama seekers in general, just in a lesser way. They SEEK drama they NEED drama they FEED on it. BPD women fetishize on love-hate-dump-betrayal emotions.

If you stop the drama-game they get withdrawal and go stalkative to get it back. You were able to give it to them, so unless they found a replacement, they want it back from you. They love break ups, so much drama. If they could they would break up every day, have visits from ppl who thought they were dying daily, go to court sue hundreds of people for rape whatever feeds them. Its just that one on one love relationships betrayal in any form is the best and hardest emotion they can get. Self hate adds to the emotions as well. Especially if you keep taking and dumping them, they get a lot of their favourite drama, the rest what they do is just side game to get THAT again. MORE LOVE HATE DUMP BETRAYAL DRAMA.

Love them and then betray you = BPD favourite emotion.

There are other kinds of drama feeders too in the world:

Huge pity victim attention = superwhiners & Munchausen favourite emotion.

Bible Belt, part of me understands the kick in your strange BPD fetish. Its ego flattering when your the ONLY one who can control the chick and its just hot to make a struggling one submit (without limitations or worries in this case.. nothing goes to far) But yeah your BPD is your no1, the GF is no2, you just keep the GF to junk on your own junky chick. Your a BPD junk bigtime.

Your Chick has BE DUMPED and USED herself as her all time drug. You feed her. She sounds more victim than the average BPD, who mostly like to MAKE victims. But yeah any love-reject drama feeds. Even if you don't want a BPD anymore and keep rejecting her that will feed her for a long time. Thats the problem in all BPDs.

 

[Connor99]

All of u guys who scream that BPD women are screwed in the head and are like AIDS, u guys need to shut the hell up. My sister is BPD and it is something u don't choose and she happens to be very intelligent and attended one of the top colleges in America. Yes, high intelligence and BPD seem to go hand in hand.

Next time u see a physically handicapped person, u would not tease him/her right? Same thing with BPD, it is something u are born with, at least a higher proclivity of having it is genetically determined.

When you date or fall in love with a girl who has BPD they slowly turn your life upside down...they can be flat out mean..they leave people who dated and cared about them in shambles...they cause a lot of emotional pain..they aren't innoncent

 

[Connor99]

Girls with BPD only see things in black and white. Either ALL good or ALL Bad

They don't have any grey area's....NONE

They either love you and call you 20 times a day or they hate you

They are very skilled at sucking you back in after you have had enough...only so they can emotional kill you yet again

They are great at building you up only so they can take down

you want a rollercoaster ride you will never forget that will end in you crashing to the ground..date a girl who has BPD

 

[Connor99]

BPD woman hardly feel anything, they're described as feeling void inside. They need huge emotions to feel something because they are emotionally dampened.

Normal emotions = feel nothing. Huge emotions = feel a little bit.

This is 100% true. I dated a girl with BPD for 8 months

The girl I dated was very hot and was smart...she attended a very good university. She was always dressed very nice..another words for anybody meeting her for the first time..you would be very impressed

But she would cut herself sometimes..especially at night..I was told she did it so she could feel something....the pain of the cut she could feel

I was also tols sometimes she felt too much so she would cut herself so she could focus on the pain and not whatever she was feeling before

They go from feeling nothing to way too much. A lot of girls with BPD were sexually abuse or raped(not all) but a lot

 

[The Logical Player]

why do you love a woman who CANT love you back?

why is this thread even here? Damn, you REALLY want to learn the HARD WAY, don't you??

there is no reason to give this guy advice, he is pretty much trolling at this point, because he is just going to do what his chumpness wants him to do, he isn't going to listen to all of the good advice here

stop wasting everyone's time livejim56

 

[Captain]

All of u guys who scream that BPD women are screwed in the head and are like AIDS, u guys need to shut the hell up. My sister is BPD and it is something u don't choose and she happens to be very intelligent and attended one of the top colleges in America. Yes, high intelligence and BPD seem to go hand in hand.

Next time u see a physically handicapped person, u would not tease him/her right? Same thing with BPD, it is something u are born with, at least a higher proclivity of having it is genetically determined.

When you date or fall in love with a girl who has BPD they slowly turn your life upside down...they can be flat out mean..they leave people who dated and cared about them in shambles...they cause a lot of emotional pain..they aren't innoncent

This is EXACTLY why you don't date BPD women.

If you have in the past, and they are causing you trouble, CUT OFF ALL CONTACT. If that doesn't work, tell them to stay away from you. Be mean if you have, you shouldn't be tolerating their nonsense.

Having BPD doesn't mean they should be treated any differently. Treat them exactly like any other girl. If they act up, ditch them, like you would any other girl. THEY ARE NOT SPECIAL.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Girls with BPD only see things in black and white. Either ALL good or ALL Bad

They don't have any grey area's....NONE

They either love you and call you 20 times a day or they hate you

They are very skilled at sucking you back in after you have had enough...only so they can emotional kill you yet again

They are great at building you up only so they can take down

you want a rollercoaster ride you will never forget that will end in you crashing to the ground..date a girl who has BPD

All of this is exactly correct.

 

[livejim56]

Ok, I am reading and feel like all my hope and dreams are gone. I need a break