I love a woman with BPd

[livejim56]

I feel like I am losing my mid and all i get is lies and broken promises.

I have been in this for 1 year and seems like i can not get out- I do not trust her and I know there is no future- but I feel trapped


help

 

[Bible_Belt]

Do you mean borderline? If so, me too. Read the archived thread.

 

[Iamnotacrook]

I was watching a Sopranos episode where the therapist was talking about Tony's mother having BPD. She said that people with BPD are incapable of reciprocating love or experiencing joy, that the only thing that exists to them is their own egos, and that other people are merely peripheral objects. Get out, and keep your doors locked in case she goes psycho and tries to stab you in your sleep.

 

[x86]

I've seen what a BPD can do to people. Here is the advice I was given in case I needed it.

If he's open to information give him a link to BPDfamily.org.

Then he can at least get some information on the borderline he's dealing with.

And don't do anymore than that.

He'll have to crash and burn hard before he'll even consider getting rid of her.

 

[Captain]

Just ditch her, you don't owe her anything.

Keep away from women with mental disorders. Relationships are about fun. If you aren't having fun, you shouldn't be in it.

 

[theunflushables]

Run and run as fast you can. If you live with her, pack your sh1t right now and leave. Crashing at friends houses or parents if they are nearby is a much better option than staying another day with her.

In my AFC days I dated this borderline girl while I was living in Chicago. It was the worst mistake in my life. I lost six months to her and even worse because of stupid fvcking decisions I made to please her, I had to move back home because I wasn't making enough money.

People who are borderline will manipulate you until there is nothing left and then they move on.

 

[horaholic]

you HAVE to break the spell. I literally had an attempt on my LIFE, because of my ex's cheating and lies. The sooner you break free, the sooner you can start to heal, or find someone better.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155800&highlight=cluster
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134717&highlight=cluster
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155686&highlight=cluster

Here are the main threads on the subject, and good luck.

 

[livejim56]

well she does not live with me- says that is something she will not do. she knows she needs helps- and tells me she is on seraquel - I know there is no hope- I will have to change all my numbers and all - she will not let me go, acts like I am hers and only hers.
But after this 1 year we are no closer than we ever where, is there any hope ?

 

[Captain]

No hope, just get rid of her. If she can't take a subtle hint, tell her flat out you don't want to see her again. She is bad news.

 

[horaholic]

BPD chicks are like herpes. You can never quite get rid of them. They go away for months, but always pop back in your life to cause you misery for a time.

Oh, and thats one of their ploys, to admit they need help, and actually seek if for a bit, to get your hopes up once again. DONT FALL FOR IT!!!!

 

[KontrollerX]

"is there any hope?"

Yeah.

There's hope for you if you get away and stay away.

For her there is zero.

If you need any extra motivation and help at fighting off the powerful emotions she stirs up in you, if you get the chance I want you to find one of those documentaries either online or at the video store or wherever all about the effects of cocaine use or someother kind of horrible drug or alcohol and how they cause the truly addicted to lose everything and end up homeless, missing their teeth as well the sensible part of their mind.

After you are done watching these programs ask yourself if thats the future you want to have for yourself.

If your answer is no then you will stay away from her no matter what amount of emotional pain you go through to do so and no matter what manipulative trick or lie she tells you to get you back in contact with her.

Stay away, its all lies, she's not dying etc, she hasn't been hit by a bus, she hasn't fallen and broken her leg, its all lies got it?

Good.

And if thats not enough for you, if you need something with a little more story to it as well style and substance and flair go watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

One ring to rule them all, one ring to bind them, one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

Its a favorite analogy of mine to use even if others find it silly and that analogy I often make when it comes to this is to compare the BPD's out there to the one ring as portrayed in this trilogy and how it is evil but yet it becomes "the precious" to whoever keeps it with them for too long.

The longer a good and healthy person has the ring the more corrupt and evil and destroyed they become gradually and some who are very good and healthy ie Frodo last longer than others before they are consumed by the evil.

Keep a BPD around in your life for too long and gradually you transform into Gollum which is to say something that is consumed by obsession and something that becomes nearly as corrupt and wicked as the ring in this case the BPD.

Sauron in this analogy is the male sociopath/psychopath which is to say the only kind of man on the planet who can effectively deal with these women or in Sauron's case "wield the one ring" as this type doesn't have any emotions for which the BPD can manipulate them through and other than that the sociopath is better at manipulation anyway than the BPD.

So yeah while the Gollum analogy comes off as intensely ridiculous to some think about it.

What is Gollum?

He's a fvcked up creature with cracked skin, an emaciated body, hair that looks mostly pulled out, bloodshot eyes from lack of sleep and basically a tormented soul which all came about as a result of his obsession with something wicked that made him feel oh so good.

When before ever discovering it he was healthy and happy, kind hearted and well adjusted as the Hobbit Smeagol.

Just like 48 Laws of Power says "Avoid the unhappy and the unlucky" and it says that because these people wear off on you and begin to grow on you.

Which is exactly why you must avoid and stay away from the BPD.

They destroy and break much more than your heart if you let them.

 

[theunflushables]

KX, that is an amazing analogy. I've always used it for addiction. Never thought about the corrupting effects of BPD.

 

[darkstarrr]

My first impression was to say I hope this guy isn't trolling but then again considering how much fucking insanity BPDs can unleash onto society, I hope he is a troll because I wouldn't wish that kind of misery on many people if any at all.

 

[DarthAngel707]

All of u guys who scream that BPD women are screwed in the head and are like AIDS, u guys need to shut the hell up. My sister is BPD and it is something u don't choose and she happens to be very intelligent and attended one of the top colleges in America. Yes, high intelligence and BPD seem to go hand in hand.

Next time u see a physically handicapped person, u would not tease him/her right? Same thing with BPD, it is something u are born with, at least a higher proclivity of having it is genetically determined.

 

[Captain]

All of u guys who scream that BPD women are screwed in the head and are like AIDS, u guys need to shut the hell up. My sister is BPD and it is something u don't choose and she happens to be very intelligent and attended one of the top colleges in America. Yes, high intelligence and BPD seem to go hand in hand.

Next time u see a physically handicapped person, u would not tease him/her right? Same thing with BPD, it is something u are born with, at least a higher proclivity of having it is genetically determined.

Yes, but they don't deserve special treatment. If you are dating a BPD woman, and she has a tantrum, you leave her. You don't stick around and say "oh, well she has BPD, so she has an excuse." They should be treated like any other woman, if they behave in an unacceptable manner, they should be dropped.

Relationships are about FUN, not tolerating the other person.

 

[KontrollerX]

"All of u guys who scream that BPD women are screwed in the head and are like AIDS, u guys need to shut the hell up. My sister is BPD and it is something u don't choose and she happens to be very intelligent and attended one of the top colleges in America. Yes, high intelligence and BPD seem to go hand in hand."

So if I were born with AIDS or someother communicable disease it would then be alright for me to go get into relationships and infect others with my illness?

I mean it wouldn't be my fault I was born with AIDS after all.

Someone else would just have to sort out the morals and ethics of my behavior because in your world when one is born with something that gives that person the right to go affect or infect others with that something.

Man I'd love to live in your world.

No consequences for bad actions...wow if I lived in your world I'd go and rob Fort Knox right now.

"Next time u see a physically handicapped person, u would not tease him/her right?"

Physically handicapped people don't do massive amounts of damage to the mental and physical health of society as BPD's do.

So yeah its definitely ignorant and assh0lish to call someone in a wheel chair a cripple but when you point a BPD out for what it is you are just doing a public service in my book and I could care less what you think to the contrary because you have not been through it like most people who run their mouths about it in a similar fashion. You've got a sister with it? Big deal. Go date one and get back to us with how that works out for you and how many STD's you contract as well how many secret boyfriends try to murder you in a jealous rage.

"Same thing with BPD, it is something u are born with, at least a higher proclivity of having it is genetically determined."

Yep, if I were born with arms like Johnny Scissorhands then that means it'd be alright if I started going around cutting people's heads off in your world as to you if someone is born with an impairment there is absolutely no way in which they can ever take responsibility for their actions.

Well I'm happy most of the psych docs disagree with you.

Despite being fvcked in the head BPD's have a choice of whether to get into relationships or not and they choose to keep getting into them and making themselves and others sick similar to them if not dead and yes these nutjobs kill people some of the time depending on the severity they are afflicted with the disorder. So you can go on being an ignorant fvck all you like but if I had to be around your sister like you presumably do I'd be watching my back for the knife heading towards it.

Just because your her brother doesn't mean your life is safe either. You are as is everyone expendable when it comes to a BPD's momentary nutjob desires.

 

[DarthAngel707]

Lol, u sound as if u are a family member of the BPD woman when u are just "some guy" to her meaning that u have no idea what a family member of a BPD woman goes through. You are a third-party complaining about basically nothing because u can easily just ignore her or shrug her off. It is comparable to the average American complaining about their life when 55,000 people in this world die DAILY just from hunger alone.

U are taking a minute problem and blowing it up completely out of proportion especially in your last paragraph. BPD is rather minute compared to AIDS. How many people have BPD women killed compared to AIDS? Not many, and no my sister doesn't come at me with a knife, well once, but that was a long time ago. LOL.

And now that you've probably studied the symptoms of BPD, you can easily steer clear from a possible BPD woman before anything further develops, so what is the problem?

 

[Captain]

Lol, u sound as if u are a family member of the BPD woman when u are just "some guy" to her meaning that u have no idea what a family member of a BPD woman goes through. You are a third-party complaining about basically nothing because u can easily just ignore her or shrug her off.

She doesn't deserve special treatment. If she can't behave in a manner that is acceptable to the man that is dating her, the man should leave.

There are no excuses for bad behaviour. If a woman can't control herself, the man should leave.

No exceptions.

 

[Bible_Belt]

high intelligence and BPD seem to go hand in hand.

Yep. And beautiful. And amazing in bed. I dreamt about my bpd girl last night...

 

[livejim56]

Ok so tell me the best way to go about getting rid of her, she breaks up every other week anyway. I am job hunting and changing numbers makes great sense. Except after 150 job applications and all- It is hard to call them all.

And then there is the scared part- I am unsure of what this woman may do to hoover me back in ? Could she hurt me physically ?