I LJBFed my girl

[surfdog]

Hi guys, yes..I told my girl that we'd be better off staying as friends, it wasn't an easy decision but it is the right one.

As some of you might know from my other thread(http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=152523)
I took my girl out last friday night for her birthday, we had a great time. Throughou the whole night she could not keep her lips off me and constantly telling me how she loves me...everything went great.

HOWEVER..

She then went on to ignore me for almost a week, she did not call me for the next two days, but we are in the middle of a series of exams for end of high school atm so I wasn't too bothered by it. I was busy studying and I thought she might be too.

NOTE: We talk on the phone almost everyday, she calls me mostly and sometimes I call her..

So I didn't hear from her on Saturday and Sunday, which was a bit odd for someone who demonstrated so much interest on the night.(I am pretty sure I did everything right on the night, C+F, negging, push-pulled, wasn't too clingy, was unpredictable etc...and she absolutely loved me, we ended up having a 30min make out session in a park near the harbour and on the ferris wheel) So I am sure that I did not do anything on the night to make her lose interest..

During my exams I've had other girls that I'm 'friendly' with going out of their ways to come or to call me just to tell me "good luck" or ask me how my exam was or just to tell me "I love you". I was waiting for HER to call me after our exam..but she never called.

I'm pretty sure that she is not too busy studying as she's got a 2 week break between her last exam and her next one, and she is not the 'studying' type from what I've seen. Plus if she really likes me she'd go out of her way to call no matter what. (Big thanks to Shinko and abcd_z who helped me see this..:rockon

Then on Monday night, when I was studying for my next exam, she called me at around 9pm, sounding abit distant. I cut the conversation short, firstly because I was in the middle of studying, secondly to show her that my life does not revolve around her and she can't just call me anytime she wants and expect me tp put down everything for her.

I was also pretty pissed that she didn't call me for liek 3 days after everything I've done for her, but I was polite. She told me that she's going to bed so I just said "ok good night I'll talk to you tomorrow." I think she expected me to say "Oh please stay? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE...?" LOL I can never be that pathetic.

She didn't call the next day(Tuesday), nor Wedesday, and so on till Friday.
I don't know what you guys think but I think that is pretty disrespectful for me, like if she really actually cared about me or has an interest in my life she would have called.

She called me on Friday night, and I asked her why did she not call me for so long, she replied with some BS excuse like "Oh because I thought you were angry at me..." I was like WTF how was I angry? I was firm but polite, (maybe I was a lil angry that she didn't call but I DID NOT show it.)

Plus even if I WAS angry, she should have at least called and ask me what was wrong with me, instead of igoring me. So that was BS.

I really loved this girl, I really do. But I cannot afford to invest any more of my emotions into this when she is obviously not investing any.

So I told her on the phone later, that we should just be friends.
She tried to giggle it off, but I think she was crying. I am sure that she likes me..the question is HOW MUCH does she like me?

I figured what I did here is a win win situation, because

• 
  If she DOES like me alot, she'd come and try to win me back and IF I do take her back I hold all the power and the relationship would be set on my terms.

• 
  If she doesn't like me that much, I'd know now and I did myself a favor by getting rid of her and stopped wasting my time

I am pretty sure that she'll come crawling back..

Except what should I do when she does? I would like her back beacuse I do like this girl alot, but I would not have anyone disrespect me like that. So she would have to prove to me that she deserves me.

I know that I have to play abit of hard to get, but to what extent? If I show too little or no interest would she give up and move on? If I show too much interest she'd know that she's got some power over me and she'd treat me like crap again if we get back together.

So DJs tell me what you guys think!:woo:

 

[slaog]

• 
  If she DOES like me alot, she'd come and try to win me back and IF I do take her back I hold all the power and the relationship would be set on my terms.

• 
  If she doesn't like me that much, I'd know now and I did myself a favor by getting rid of her and stopped wasting my time

I am pretty sure that she'll come crawling back..

Except what should I do when she does? I would like her back beacuse I do like this girl alot, but I would not have anyone disrespect me like that. So she would have to prove to me that she deserves me.

I know that I have to play abit of hard to get, but to what extent? If I show too little or no interest would she give up and move on? If I show too much interest she'd know that she's got some power over me and she'd treat me like crap again if we get back together.

So DJs tell me what you guys think!:woo:

You did the right thing. It had to be done.


If she does want to come back don't play games with her. She won't have power over you because you've shown her that you'll walk away if she hasn't got the right attitude. Nobody has power over you unless you give them that power so no need to worry about that.


Also nothing wrong with showing interest. I'm thinking now that she might have been distant because you were not showing her enough interest? But I might be wrong here?

 

[Zerotwoonenine]

Hi guys, yes..I told my girl that we'd be better off staying as friends, it wasn't an easy decision but it is the right one.

As some of you might know from my other thread(http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=152523)
I took my girl out last friday night for her birthday, we had a great time. Throughou the whole night she could not keep her lips off me and constantly telling me how she loves me...everything went great.

HOWEVER..

She then went on to ignore me for almost a week, she did not call me for the next two days, but we are in the middle of a series of exams for end of high school atm so I wasn't too bothered by it. I was busy studying and I thought she might be too.

NOTE: We talk on the phone almost everyday, she calls me mostly and sometimes I call her..

So I didn't hear from her on Saturday and Sunday, which was a bit odd for someone who demonstrated so much interest on the night.(I am pretty sure I did everything right on the night, C+F, negging, push-pulled, wasn't too clingy, was unpredictable etc...and she absolutely loved me, we ended up having a 30min make out session in a park near the harbour and on the ferris wheel) So I am sure that I did not do anything on the night to make her lose interest..

During my exams I've had other girls that I'm 'friendly' with going out of their ways to come or to call me just to tell me "good luck" or ask me how my exam was or just to tell me "I love you". I was waiting for HER to call me after our exam..but she never called.

I'm pretty sure that she is not too busy studying as she's got a 2 week break between her last exam and her next one, and she is not the 'studying' type from what I've seen. Plus if she really likes me she'd go out of her way to call no matter what. (Big thanks to Shinko and abcd_z who helped me see this..:rockon

Then on Monday night, when I was studying for my next exam, she called me at around 9pm, sounding abit distant. I cut the conversation short, firstly because I was in the middle of studying, secondly to show her that my life does not revolve around her and she can't just call me anytime she wants and expect me tp put down everything for her.

I was also pretty pissed that she didn't call me for liek 3 days after everything I've done for her, but I was polite. She told me that she's going to bed so I just said "ok good night I'll talk to you tomorrow." I think she expected me to say "Oh please stay? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE...?" LOL I can never be that pathetic.

She didn't call the next day(Tuesday), nor Wedesday, and so on till Friday.
I don't know what you guys think but I think that is pretty disrespectful for me, like if she really actually cared about me or has an interest in my life she would have called.

She called me on Friday night, and I asked her why did she not call me for so long, she replied with some BS excuse like "Oh because I thought you were angry at me..." I was like WTF how was I angry? I was firm but polite, (maybe I was a lil angry that she didn't call but I DID NOT show it.)

Plus even if I WAS angry, she should have at least called and ask me what was wrong with me, instead of igoring me. So that was BS.

I really loved this girl, I really do. But I cannot afford to invest any more of my emotions into this when she is obviously not investing any.

So I told her on the phone later, that we should just be friends.
She tried to giggle it off, but I think she was crying. I am sure that she likes me..the question is HOW MUCH does she like me?

I figured what I did here is a win win situation, because

• 
  If she DOES like me alot, she'd come and try to win me back and IF I do take her back I hold all the power and the relationship would be set on my terms.

• 
  If she doesn't like me that much, I'd know now and I did myself a favor by getting rid of her and stopped wasting my time

I am pretty sure that she'll come crawling back..

Except what should I do when she does? I would like her back beacuse I do like this girl alot, but I would not have anyone disrespect me like that. So she would have to prove to me that she deserves me.

I know that I have to play abit of hard to get, but to what extent? If I show too little or no interest would she give up and move on? If I show too much interest she'd know that she's got some power over me and she'd treat me like crap again if we get back together.

So DJs tell me what you guys think!:woo:

you are still acting like a AFC. my young padiwan. shes messing with your mind and you fell for the trap. Remember, shes doing the passive test on you, which you just fell for. Infact you didn't play your hands right cos status quo is the best way to deal with their sht tests. You shouldn't have done any thing to her sht test, never mind telling her to be your friend.
if she comes back, play it cool, dont change. Always act as if you are still dating her, then you will be ok.

 

[surfdog]

you are still acting like a AFC. my young padiwan. shes messing with your mind and you fell for the trap. Remember, shes doing the passive test on you, which you just fell for. Infact you didn't play your hands right cos status quo is the best way to deal with their sht tests. You shouldn't have done any thing to her sht test, never mind telling her to be your friend.
if she comes back, play it cool, dont change. Always act as if you are still dating her, then you will be ok.

Not sure if I get what you mean...you're telling me that I shouldn't have done anything despite her ignoring me and disrespecting me? That I should just act like everything is cool?

I'm not questioning your method I just don't get what you mean..please explain.

 

[surfdog]

You did the right thing. It had to be done.


If she does want to come back don't play games with her. She won't have power over you because you've shown her that you'll walk away if she hasn't got the right attitude. Nobody has power over you unless you give them that power so no need to worry about that.


Also nothing wrong with showing interest. I'm thinking now that she might have been distant because you were not showing her enough interest? But I might be wrong here?

Thanks slaog.

I did show her interest, by taking her out and showed her the best time!
I only called her once the next day because it was her actual birthday so I called to wish her happy bday.
After than I waited for her to call me and she didn't, so I wasn't showing her too much interest..but I was showing her enough.

 

[future_strongguy]

You sound like a woman.

 

[surfdog]

You sound like a woman.

Mate if you don't have anything constructive to say then keep that sh*t to yourself, you're not impressing anyone. :kick:

 

[surfdog]

Thanks Noob

Anyway guys I'm just wondering what to do from here, she called me yesterday during the day and at night, we started having one of our usual conversations that we used to have on the phone almost everynight..then I told her I had to go because my favourite tv show was on hahahaha (it actually was on tho)

I still have mad feelings for this girl and I could tell that she does for me too, but I cannot be the one asking her back.

This Friday for Halloween me and a couple of chick friends are going clubbing and I thought I'd invite her and give her a little attention while trying to pick up other girls. Jealousy usually works well with this girl, the first time I hooked up with her she didn't want to at first, then I started being friendly to my other chick friends and that got her really worked up we ended up having fun in my bed.

And plus her and others can be my social proof for picking up more women..

 

[surfdog]

Just as I thought that she's changed she started doing her lil hot and cold sh*t again..ahhhhhh this is really annoying me.

Anyone got any tips on what I should do? maybe cut all contact and play some ganji??

 

[jdon23]

Just as I thought that she's changed she started doing her lil hot and cold sh*t again..ahhhhhh this is really annoying me.

Anyone got any tips on what I should do? maybe cut all contact and play some ganji??

A leopard doesn't change its spots. This girl will keep doing this behavior with you down the road. I was in the same situation. I thought eventually she will stable out and we will have a good relationship. WRONG!!

It's either how she keeps her emotions in check or its a defense mechanism. Whatever it is, don't let it get you down. I would just ignore her and forget about her. If she contacts you, be friendly. When you are with her, dont expect anything from her. That's the best way to handle this type of woman.

 

[Rounder]

You sound like a woman.

Why? Because he has feelings? Some of us are actual humans around here. Even though we are men we are allowed to have feelings - figuring out how to handle those emotions in a constructive way is the challenge and it is something that is more work for some people than others.

You sound like an @$$.

 

[Canadianpimpology]

Seems like a case of one-itis. You did the right thing though, and it really is a win-win situation for you. Do your thing, talk with some other chicks, and you will lose that desperacy and need for her, and at the same time she will VERY likely come crawling back.

 

[shaunuk]

Maybe I've missed a thread somewhere, but why are you LJBF'ing her and then hoping she's gonna come back and your relationship will start again? What are you trying to achieve here?

 

[surfdog]

A leopard doesn't change its spots. This girl will keep doing this behavior with you down the road. I was in the same situation. I thought eventually she will stable out and we will have a good relationship. WRONG!!

It's either how she keeps her emotions in check or its a defense mechanism. Whatever it is, don't let it get you down. I would just ignore her and forget about her. If she contacts you, be friendly. When you are with her, dont expect anything from her. That's the best way to handle this type of woman.

That is what I plan to do now cheers

 

[surfdog]

Why? Because he has feelings? Some of us are actual humans around here. Even though we are men we are allowed to have feelings - figuring out how to handle those emotions in a constructive way is the challenge and it is something that is more work for some people than others.

You sound like an @$$.

Cheers Rounder, nicely said.

Seems like a case of one-itis. You did the right thing though, and it really is a win-win situation for you. Do your thing, talk with some other chicks, and you will lose that desperacy and need for her, and at the same time she will VERY likely come crawling back.

Well I do like this chick alot more than any of my other 2 plates, and I've invested a considerable amount of time/effort/money/emotions into this one so obviously I'd like to see my investment paying off. Atm it is not so rather than investing in it further I chose to pull out.
I think the chances for her crawling back are high, then if she doesn't that'll just make me sleep better at night because I'll know that I did the right thing getting rid of her.

Maybe I've missed a thread somewhere, but why are you LJBF'ing her and then hoping she's gonna come back and your relationship will start again? What are you trying to achieve here?

Hi Shaunuk, I am not trying to achieve anything really, I did what I thought had to be done. I really like this chick, but I will not put up with anyone who disrespects me like that, I did so I can stop investing my emotions into this relationship.

If she does like me alot, she'll come back and try to win me back, this gives me the power and the relationship will be set on my terms.

If she doesn't come back, I won't worry too much because I can now move on and find better girls who are actually worth my time.

So I am not hoping to achieve anything in particular, just want to see how this turns out and learn from this experience.

 

[MascaraSnake]

Just what I would have done...if you're not satisfied, leave and put the ball in her court. If she wants you, she'll pursue you, and you're free to hit on anything female until she does.