"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I like this girl but she's taken

Naapimp

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So there’s this girl in my class whom I worked on a group project with. She referenced her BF once during this project; I can virtually guarantee this was not intentional so no one would try to hit on her. So during the course of working together I discovered that our personalities and sense of humor are very similar and I enjoyed being around her a lot. I’m a rather weird, maybe eccentric individual so this very hard for me to find. I might even go as far as to say that I enjoyed her personality more so than any other person I’ve met in my entire life, male or female.

Needless to say, I’m not abandoning her just because she’s taken. I’m wondering what route I should take in this pursuit. There’s two ideas I have. One, I try and be her friend, then should they break up, I’m ready to make my move. Or two, I could let her know that I’d be interested in dating her or something should she break up with her BF. I really don’t think I want to try and force the action; I’m just not that kind of person. Also, I would genuinely enjoy just being friends with her.

Any thoughts or input would be greatly appreciated. Also, as class winds down, what sorts of interactions do you think I should try to have with her. Should I try and sit next her and make her laugh a lot, talk to her when I can, or just play it cool.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Flyer

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Theres plenty of other fish in the sea..
 

Dust 2 Dust

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My advice would be just to back off. I have dated chicks with boyfriends before and in my experience chicks with boyfriends will give off MAJOR Buying signals if they want you to steal them away from their current BF( they will touch and compliment you, or they'll offer you their phone number or suggest that the two of you hang out some time). They will chase you and if she's not doing any of these things then forget about it. Right now you're developing oneitis. Big mistake to pursue a woman who's unavailable.

The problem is pursuing a woman with a BF can be a major waste of a DJ's time. If she has High IL in her boyfriend she will not leave him no matter what you do. During my freshmen year of college I spent four months trying to steal a girl away from her boyfriend, but in the end she blew me off.

The best advice I can give is to not make this girl your only target. Real men don't sit around and wait. You should also be pursuing other women. After all, only a man with no other options would pursue a girl with a BF.
 

Climax

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my 2c...

One, I try and be her friend, then should they break up, I’m ready to make my move.
just play it cool.
Those are the 2 quotes from you that you should follow.

Just be her friend for now, don’t give her any hints that you are interested, and just play it cool.

Think about it.... if she were YOUR girlfriend, would you want some other guy hitting on her? no! And plus, if you DO give her signs that you are interested in her, and she thinks "wtf is this guy doing? I have a bf!" then you might also end up losing her friendship as well. So rather just be her friend, and IF she breaks up with her bf, then YOU will be there to comfort her and be there for her. But till that time (if that time even comes) go out there, play the fields, live your life! She is only one of MANY out there that would also catch your fancy... all you need to do is look.;)


Laterz...
 

Naapimp

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Ok, this makes since, and I was thinking the same thing. I’ll just get it into my head that I’m not perusing her and that she’s only potential friend. So how should I go about making friends with her without giving any buying signals?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Dust 2 Dust

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I would just keep things on a casual acquintance level. Don't waste your time trying to be all buddy-buddy with her. If you become friends with her there's a good chance you'll wind up in the friends zone and she'll blow you off.

Remember, let her chase you. If you chase her she'll be thinking "Why is this creep coming on to me when I told him I have a boyfriend?" Let her initiate conversations from time to time, let her initiate kino. If anything happens between the two of you then the initiative will come from her, not you.


Keep your eye open on other targets. Trust me, there are a lot of hot single girls out there. if you start getting numbers from other girls she won't seem all that important.
 

Black_Italian

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BOYFRIENDS ARE JUST OBSTACLES i cant stress this enough. If you have some moral issues with stealing a guys girl then back off. If your affraid he will kill you then back off. If you dotn care then go for her as long as you present something better shel get rid of her BF for you.

Ninja out
 

gonzo

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What status does the boyfriend have?

If you have a higher status than him you have a good chance of stealing her. Otherwise, there is practically nothing you can do.

But remember if you can steal her away then someone else can do the same when she's with you.

I also think you like her more than you're letting on. If so, it's likely that you will mess it up as your emotions will get in the way. I also think that you like her enough that it will mess up any "friendship" that you get stuck in. In general, acquaintances get the girl not her "friends".

My suggestion would be to find someone else and in the meantime back off her immediately. If she wants to be your friend or more she will take the initiative. Economics teaches that scarcity creates value.
 

Climax

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Originally posted by Black_Italian
BOYFRIENDS ARE JUST OBSTACLES i cant stress this enough. If you have some moral issues with stealing a guys girl then back off. If your affraid he will kill you then back off. If you dotn care then go for her as long as you present something better shel get rid of her BF for you.

Ninja out
When I steal your wife away from you one day, I wanna see how that makes u feel:) ... and if you try Ninja my ass, I'll put a bullet in your head:) Wow... all that Ninja training, defeated by a little gun?:eek:

Master-Blaster out.:D


Laterz...
 

Black_Italian

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I have learnt the art of dodging and catching bullets as a part of my master Ninjitsu training.

Nobody can steal any of my girls I know how to keep my girls in line they always come back to me (NO I don’t hit them). I just know how to control them.

Ninja Out.

To fast for guns
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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