"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

I like big butts and I cannot lie

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Ace of Flames

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
1,500
Reaction score
16
Location
Everywhere you want to be.... I'm like a Visa card
Is it weird if I'm not much of an ass man? Lol. Its not that I don't like big butts or otherwise, its just not very important to me. T>A for me.
 

MagnuM

Don Juan
Joined
May 24, 2003
Messages
188
Reaction score
0
Age
39
I would totally get Quake 3 Rail gun on her ass.

Man do I want to AWP that fine piece of gleutus maximus (ass muscle not spelled right I believe)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch

leeroyjenkins

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 2, 2007
Messages
52
Reaction score
0
her ass is the wrong shape IMO, hard to find a big one that's the right shape but when they come along, wow...
 
Top