I let her go, just a rant to get it off my chest

[Skel]

There is a saying. It goes something like, "If you find a good woman, dont let her go"

I use to get this all the time. The feeling of, "wow, shes so cool..Im getting hooked on her" It must be oneitis. I better go out and talk to more girls. Thats what happened with this one girl. I basically blew her off like the jerk I normally am to people, women most of all.... I ignored her and didnt talk to her. I didnt pay her any mind and treated her like ****. Of course it hurt her feelings and sparked her interest where she would go out of her way to ask me things (We work together by the way) and I would give her one word answers or just act cold towards her. Anyways after that she basically took it as I expected she would. She moved on and started seeing her old BF again and conversations between her and I stopped totally.

I now see her every day and it hurts pretty bad. I realize now that it wasnt oneitis but this was actually a girl I maybe fell in love with or was falling for but im not sure because Ive never actually been in love. I ****ed it up and have no one else to blame except maybe the people on this board for teaching me what they taught me. Dont get me wrong, I learned a lot on this board but I didnt learn how to distinguish real feelings for oneitis. Now every girl Im with is no match. All i think about is her and what should have or could have been.

Now this DJ is lonely and alone even in the prescence of gorgeous women, hes miserable. That will be all thanks for listening now i can back to macking and hopefully move on.

 

[AmIAFC]

I'm really interested in hearing your story some more.

I'm in the same situation at work. Right now, whenever we pass by each other in the hall, it's almost this cold, dead silence. We'll say "Hi" or "Hello" every once in a while, but our gestures/greetings are so shallow and empty. There is some serious tension going on and I don't know how to address it.

 

[Skel]

Originally posted by AmIAFC
I'm really interested in hearing your story some more.

I'm in the same situation at work. Right now, whenever we pass by each other in the hall, it's almost this cold, dead silence. We'll say "Hi" or "Hello" every once in a while, but our gestures/greetings are so shallow and empty. There is some serious tension going on and I don't know how to address it.

yeah I know what thats like. What is your relationship like with this girl?

 

[frivolousz21]

why on Earth did you do that?

have no one else to blame except maybe the people on this board for teaching me what they taught me. Dont get me wrong, I learned a lot on this board but I didnt learn how to distinguish real feelings for oneitis

your not listening to the right people.


if you like a WOMEN THEN GO FOR HER...

if it doesnt work out move on.

One I tis is when she SHOWS NOTHING IN RETURN!

if a women kisses you its not one I tis!


good luck next time..go with ur gut not SS

 

[Skel]

Yeah I know friv. Im the one that ****ed it up and no one else. Im just bitter at myself or angry with myself. I made a mistake and now all I can do is learn from it.

At the time though I think I was scared of my own feelings and I turned it into an excuse of, "oh it must be oneitis"
Not only did I hurt her but i hurt myself in the process.

 

[AmIAFC]

Originally posted by Skel
yeah I know what thats like. What is your relationship like with this girl?

We f***ed, we hung out afterwards, and then I gradually started ignoring her -- hoping to rekindle the loose relationship by behaving the same way I did prior to us having sex. (She thought I was a challenge and literally begged me to have drinks with her the same night we f***ed)

WRONG MOVE.

 

[ScrewIt]

once again...another guy that comes along and blames the board/bible for his problems. Well now that it's done and over, take this as a life lesson and learn from your mistake, which you have done.

But dont take it so harsh man, "dont dip your pen in the company ink". What are the chances that you and her would have worked out anyway, considering the fact that you work with her.

There are other fish in the sea.

 

[GuitarPlayer]

As several on here have said repeatedly, notably Pook and Gunwitch, use your common sense!!!!! Screw the "DJ rules." If the girl wasn't giving you sh!t tests or playing any mind games, then what exactly was the problem?

You know what I would do if I were you? Apologize to her. Anyone who tosses out an "AFC" flame here can kiss my a$$, by the way. Don't suck up, don't grovel, but apologize. A real man apologizes when he does something wrong. Be a man about it and do it in a way that makes her respect you, but above all, be sincere.

Only you can decide if you have real feelings for this girl. This is obviously tearing you apart, so drop the robotic rules for once and go get her back.

 

[Skel]

Originally posted by GuitarPlayer
As several on here have said repeatedly, notably Pook and Gunwitch, use your common sense!!!!! Screw the "DJ rules." If the girl wasn't giving you sh!t tests or playing any mind games, then what exactly was the problem?

You know what I would do if I were you? Apologize to her. Anyone who tosses out an "AFC" flame here can kiss my a$$, by the way. Don't suck up, don't grovel, but apologize. A real man apologizes when he does something wrong. Be a man about it and do it in a way that makes her respect you, but above all, be sincere.

Only you can decide if you have real feelings for this girl. This is obviously tearing you apart, so drop the robotic rules for once and go get her back.

I know you are right and I did try to do just that. she didnt even want to hear from me. Ill give her some time and let things take their course.

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by Skel
I know you are right and I did try to do just that. she didnt even want to hear from me. Ill give her some time and let things take their course.

pursue other women in the meantime. in most instances if a person has attraction for another, and realizes that other person isnt interested in them....they lose attraction altogether. it has happened to me on countless occasions, and im sure it happens to women.

unless if there's something you can do to 'spark' it again. one way to do that is to let them know you're interested.

 

[arlanda]

Something similar happened to me. I was too much of a jerk plus I was overanalyzing and thought everything she did was a ****ing test. She's far from being perfect but I really do enjoy her company ... too bad she now thinks we "only get along well when we argue" - weird chick-logic I told her I am attracted to her and she unblocked me from IM ... so we can at least talk from time to time although she still seems to act a bit cold.

Anyway, I am not being needy, clingy or **** ... weird cos this feels like it's for real. I'm gonna pursue this, got nothing to lose except my pride ... and seriously who cares what she thinks of me in case things don't work out well.

 

[AmIAFC]

Originally posted by Skel
I know you are right and I did try to do just that. she didnt even want to hear from me. Ill give her some time and let things take their course.

Yup. Sounds all too familiar. I tried to break the ice with her by inviting her for drinks and such, even text messaged her to say what's up, and she refused (w/ an excuse) and ignored. The funny thing is, she asked me to go to this company dance and I couldn't make it (had prior engagements) and the look on her face was like, "Goddamnit, I stick my head out like that, trying to make things work, and I get rejected???" I, then, tried to make up for that by asking her if she wanted to go for drinks after work, but she said she couldn't.

It's like a pissing match with this person.

 

[Nighthawk]

She was interested in you when you were a challenge. When you made it clear with your apology and offer that she could have you without any games, she's decided once was enough and she has more important things/people to do.

Your 'NEXT!' sign appears to be faulty.