"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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I.L. drops

jardine

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Does interest level usually drop slow and gradual or more like a rock? Im dating this girl 3 months and her I.L. goes from about 90 to 50 over a matter of days. Im guessing ,with 0 proof , that for that to happen that either she's seeing or wants to see someone else.Or someone would of had to tell her some sh*t about me.

It's almost like you know all the symptoms and warning signs of a disease(the dump) ,but try to deny youre sick.Atleast until its too late and youve already been dumped.

Is it unusual for that quick of a falloff? Could there be a legit reason for an overnight drop.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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RiceHapa888

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she might just be doing push/pull and playing games. so how have you calculated that the interest has gone down? what is she doing now that she didnt do before?
 

jardine

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The diffence includes a drop in overall enthusiasm, for the first time ever not returning a voice mail , a huge reduction in touching, and getting out of the car (as in quickly) without even a kiss.

If she acted like she does now on the first date or 2 I never would of called her back. But after this amount of time I dont know if I should get out now, or give it more time. I mean anyone could have a bad week.

But if she is playing games would you go after her more or pull back?
 

RiceHapa888

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in that case something is up. one thing you can do is ask her whats going on...maybe there needs to be some communication. there can be any number of things going on but only she knows so see what she has to say and hey maybe you guys can get your relationship back up to where it could be or otherwise you and her will be over, but who cares right? just express yourself so as to not waste any of your time mulling over things.
-OR-
you can play her games back to her. You can pull away now and act disinterested, aloof, busy...get some social proof and dangle it in front of her-
Id go with choice one though.
 

BigFoot

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You are talking about a drop in "I.L" over
the past week? That's not enough time to
conclude anything. Pull back for a while and see what happens. Even good relationships have their ups and downs over time.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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frivolousz21

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actually that is enuf time to know..this just recently happen to me after a 1 and half month girl....I didnt even notice the signs but they were there.....you need to talk to her about it.
 

jardine

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frivolousz,

In your case,did you at all attempt to discuss it with her? If so,how did she respond? Did she end it herself, or did you just walk away?
 

belividere

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I think you are probably guessing right. She is most likely acting this way because she wants you to drop her so she wont have to play the bad guy. She may come back around she may not. What do you expect out of this relationship anyway? Do you have any other prospects?

One thing that usually suprises me around here is the time lines of which people consider a relationship serious. I notice it is usually at the extremes of the spectrum. I have had several girls that I dated for 1-3 months and havent considered anything close to serious. I dont think that you really know the true person for at least a few months. This usually happens during this timeframe because people start to get lazy and take their partner for granted. I do it all the time. Has your behavior changed at all in the past couple of weeks or so?
 
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