I know what this is leading to but any words of wisdom...

[styleman]

My girlfriend is out of town on work, I text her
"are you back yet?"
she replies "not yet!"
me: "come soon, miss you"
her "we need to talk!"
I phone her, she says "Not now! When I'm back... I say oh, she says bye, I put the phone down"
I send her a text about half an hour later,
"What is it?"
her: "We need to talk"
me: "Is it about me or you?"
her: "No its fine we need to talk about us, I think its getting out of hand! X You're changing because of me and it needs to stop"
me: "Oh..... well, we can talk about it if you want, when are you back? There's really nothing wrong, I'm dreading speaking about it..."
her "Tonight but ill talk to you tomo x don't worry it's for your own good, i still love you, but we need to talk xxx"

I can just sense a break up, which I don't want... How do I handle it/stop her......

 

[MooseGod]

Maybe you have changed because of her...into an AFC. You sound a little too dependent on the relationship from what you posted, and we should all know that the person who has the most power in a relationship is the one who needs the other person the least.

 

[styleman]

How do I convince myself I don't need her...

 

[drak_ool]

she already basically said "i am done with you"

from your post it seems that you have been acted too AFC around her lately and she is sick of it. moosegod's advice pretty much summed it up for you.

but you still want to be with her, right? my personal advice would be to let go of her, learn your lesson and go find other girls. but sometimes it s hard to let go, so here s what you should do:

1) cut off all communications with her. Don't contact her or respond to her calls/txts/e-mails.
2) go out (preferably with a DJ as a wing) and sarge hardcore. Get as many numbers as you can. Basically do whatever you can to move away from the AFC attitude you ve had lately in front of your girl.
3) the best course of action at this point would be to just stick to 2) and eventually you ll forget about your ex (trust me, it s been done before). However, if you still want her back, now is your chance to take her back under your own terms. you either respond to one of her messages (by this point she stopped calling you, just txting and e-mail) or you txt her yourself and tell her to meet up
when you meet her, you lay out to her what your vision for the relationship is. Don t apologize for not talking to her and, in general, don't back down on anything. You have to show her that you are strong, that you re not afraid of loosing her. She is not expecting this! she was expecting the AFC styleman to come beg her to take him back, not this DJ who really couldn't care less about being with her. and she will actually be attracted to this!

EDIT: 3) will not work unless you follow 1) religiously. Think about it: right now you are waiting to hear from her, you are anxious, scared, worried about what she will say. By cutting off all contact, you will reverse the whole situation on her and you ll put her in your shoes

 

[styleman]

she already basically said "i am done with you"

from your post it seems that you have been acted too AFC around her lately and she is sick of it. moosegod's advice pretty much summed it up for you.

but you still want to be with her, right? my personal advice would be to let go of her, learn your lesson and go find other girls. but sometimes it s hard to let go, so here s what you should do:

1) cut off all communications with her. Don't contact her or respond to her calls/txts/e-mails.
2) go out (preferably with a DJ as a wing) and sarge hardcore. Get as many numbers as you can. Basically do whatever you can to move away from the AFC attitude you ve had lately in front of your girl.
3) the best course of action at this point would be to just stick to 2) and eventually you ll forget about your ex (trust me, it s been done before). However, if you still want her back, now is your chance to take her back under your own terms. you either respond to one of her messages (by this point she stopped calling you, just txting and e-mail) or you txt her yourself and tell her to meet up
when you meet her, you lay out to her what your vision for the relationship is. Don t apologize for not talking to her and, in general, don't back down on anything. You have to show her that you are strong, that you re not afraid of loosing her. She is not expecting this! she was expecting the AFC styleman to come beg her to take him back, not this DJ who really couldn't care less about being with her. and she will actually be attracted to this!

She wants to meet tomorrow to 'talk', if I go to a club tonight and **** a woman, and then follow 3. when I meet her tomorrow, would it work?

 

[azanon]

I agree with the others. You lost this one. Fully accepting that now will give you the smoothest exit. But I wouldn't count on generating attraction. Assume that you won't.

Regarding the meeting, you don't have time for it. "maybe some other time, I'm busy doing (insert bulls*** excuse, and vary with each of her requests)" Put her off completely on everything.

The opposite of love is indifference. Indifference = maximum power for you now.

In the meantime, do something about that massive AFC thing you have going. Saying you're dreading hearing a converation about how she's unhappy and/or is about to dump you is the epitome of AFC. When "we" (DJs) reach the point where there's less than 1 million women out there, then we might start worrying about losing one; but I wouldn't count on it.

 

[drak_ool]

ignoring her is the most powerful tool you have in your arsenal. shagging other girls will make you realize that life is not all about your gf. then your mind starts cooling off and you start to use it, instead of thinking with your dyck

if you still want her, you can get her on your own terms. But a decent period of time in which you have NO contact with her is necessary. 1 day will not qualify.

oh ya, and read this thread
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134995

 

[styleman]

She phoned today, said let's go for lunch, mentioned nothing about it and nor did I. Ended up having sex at my place... WTF???

 

[ketostix]

She phoned today, said let's go for lunch, mentioned nothing about it and nor did I. Ended up having sex at my place... WTF???

Well women can be moody and emotional, i.e. crazy, but it's good you didn't mention it. It's usually best to not indulge in her negativity about you,and to keep things light and positive. A breakup might still be coming down the pike though. Just play it cool.

 

[mongolboy]

Man u sound way 2 desperate thas how i use 2 be 2 and that was ****ing low as hell, to girls nothing is a big turnoff than a ****in desperate and needy mother****a!

 

[Dongfu]

you need to not return her calls for a couple days, then give her the slight illusion that there may be someone else you're interested in. Start being mysterious. "I've got something else to do, I cant hang tonight." But dont tell her what it is. Ask her how she feels about open relationships. etc.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Yup, don't talk to her until she contacts you. Since is seems she is going to break up with you. Get a head start and start going after other girls.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

Those text messages are so bad they should be put into the dj bible to show kids on how not to talk to girls over the phone.