i keep beating myself up.

[Packers2010]

I've made mistakes in the " game". everyone has. most people just shrug it off and keep on going. me, i dell on it. I keep thinking about the biggest mistakes i have made. I've had times where I had a girl who was DTF and all i had to do was pull out my **** and she would have sucked it! she was into me and i fooked it up. my " flight or fight" responsice kicked in and that was it. GAME OVER!

there was another time, i let a guy take MY oneitis girl from right under me. i was there when he stole her and i was there when all he had to do was text her a bit and she went running. i was there where she just left me hanging. (good thing i got the sex before hand)

the problem is. i can't let go of these things. i haven't spoken to oneitis girl in MONTHS. i have made my peace with her and i don't love her any more. though this really hurts me to my core. i can't seam to shake it. every time i think about it.. it's like... getting stabbed in the chest.

at night most nights. i lay there till the wee hours of the morning and just think about all the **** ups i have. sure i have had some SMALL success. though i never think about that because it's really small.

i know this is holding me back. i think this is the main reason I don't approach. maybe I'm more scared of success then rejection it's self.

i know i have a long battle ahead. though i need some help now... is there anything i can do to fix this?

 

[Packers2010]

thanks for the advice man, it's really what i wanted to hear.

i do have another problem of " trying to get with" a friend of mine. it's like.. if i have any game, i use it on her. i think it's just a coping mechanism. because i know when i make up the next day she is still going to be my friend.


as far as getting out of my circle.. right now. i live 900+ miles away from my friends some family and everything i have ever known. i live in a small village in south Wales. for the first few months it sucked. i just sated home and did nothing. then i slowly started to change. now sometimes i go down to the pub and talk to everyone. though there isn't many girls about. but that's ok.

i guess i have to learn that. AFTER I approach a girl. it means nothing. it's not like i haven't done it before either. i used to go out with a wing to the casino and just troll the bars and casino floor there for girls. was fun. i have opened them before becuse i was really pushed. though now i just can't do it.

this is one big problem that isn't going away.

 

[bigneil]

You're describing the single male condition.

No matter where you fail along the path to seduction (and long term relationships), you are in the dilemma you describe. Let it fire you up. It's through rejection that we are inspired to learn and improve. There are no mistakes, only lessons (painful ones). You never get over the women you blow it with, even if you get them later on.

Remember: the moment you like a girl, the day is guaranteed to come when you say "That b*tch".

 

[Gray The Prince]

You care way too much Packers. I was going through a similar rut a few weeks ago. You have to reach your breaking point when you finally say enough is enough and do whatever the fuck you want

Remember, you can only take so much soon enough, you're going to say fuck it. Only when you reach your breaking point, will you be able to truly not care and to just go for it.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

 

[JohnChops]

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

+1 thats on my reading list as well. Dude just care less and I used t dwell on the past , a lot, to a point where I had anxiety about it. But now who gives a fvck. Go out and talk to women, if you fail, simply make the effort to move on. Just dont think about the past, whats in the past stays in the past... there is NO changing it.

 

[NewAndImproved]

OP, I've been in your boat. You need to start focusing on the times you've been successful. The mind tends to focus on the negative. You need to start training your mind to dwell instead on the positive. Start making a list of the women who've shown interest in you; a list of the women you've been able to attract.

Bet it's more than a few.

Here's a good post on the subject that I just read:

http://www.rapidescalation.com/focus-positive-reference-experiences/

 

[Serg897]

I struggle with this too. The mind likes to focus on the negative, re-live past mistakes and failings over and over and over again. I think its about retraining the mind to focus on the positive, something Im working on through various means.

Its all in your mind, OP.

 

[Packers2010]

thanks for the input guys.

i will get the book and read the post you guys have shown me. I watched this video today and my mind was BLOWN!

check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Iu15L7XGtC4#!

 

[Serg897]

Try meditation. I did a meditation sitting today, first time in a while, and very much enjoyed it and was very impressed by how much the teacher knew about the mind - the chatter, the distractions, the ego. This all relates to the "inner game" stuff that you see a lot in this forum and the pick up community as a whole. If you're able to conquer your own mind no woman will be able to hurt you.