I just want to enjoy life

[Hollywood31548]

19 years old and in the Military. Still a virgin, but that's not the point of this post. Yes, I want to get laid, yes, I want to have a big social circle, but what I really want is to get the most out of life.

Time is passing by fast, and I don't want to be hindered because of my social anxiety. I'm what some would consider a nice guy, but I won't bend over backwards for a woman by any means. I think my real problem is that everything I do or say is just not fun. When I tried to be funny, I just come off as mean or an *******.

I can go up and talk to people if I really want to, but I DON'T want to because everything I do or say just doesn't convey value or get me ANYWHERE with them or I just come off as awkward because I'm trying to go somewhere with it. Back home I could be ok with this because I had a status and a regular group of friends. I might not have been what some would call "alpha" but I did get invited to parties and events.

Now that I'm on my own I don't know what to do.

 

[BrownBear]

Enjoy your food, enjoy your sleep

 

[DragonBlood]

Go to any social gatherings organised by the older soldier boys they should show you the ropes better than anyone. Also if your stationed on the coast stay away from sailors, they will pick fights and steal your woman. Most important of all, if whatever your doing isnt fun (besides training) dont do it regardless of what other people might think. Talking to people who could care less, why worry about that? Often the best way to convey value and interest is not to try so damn hard to make the most of everything.

 

[elitemulk]

I can go up and talk to people if I really want to, but I DON'T want to because everything I do or say just doesn't convey value or get me ANYWHERE with them or I just come off as awkward because I'm trying to go somewhere with it.

I was like this when my shifts were moved and i was working with totally new people, i wasnt busting my nut to 'fit in' but i was making an effort to be sociable and create a social circle, didnt get anywhere, but once i gave up trying and focussed on myself, brought things in to work at during breaks, arrange my diet meals, getting my act together outside of work, my own place, doing what i wanted to spend my time doing. People started to gravitate towards me, a social circle started to create itself.

 

[dvjackson]

If you're not funny then don't try to be, people who try to be funny but have no talent for it are... no, just don't do that.

You say you have nothing of value to say, so change that. Being funny is kind of a handicap, it allows people to present value to people without actually haveing it. Quit focusing on the people around you and instead focus on improving yourself. Travel, get some interesting hobbies, read the news. Get some stories to tell and develop opinions on things.

 

[Ronaldo7]

First of all, i would like to thank you for serving the country.

Focus on your objectives and everything will follow. Don't go out of your way to fit in. Be who you are and stand by it. Become the center of your surroundings. Focus only on yourself.

 

[Hollywood31548]

It means alot to hear that Ronaldo7, and thanks for the support guys. So the real focus here should be on myself. Let's say I do go out, travel and develop hobbies. Pretty much all I have to do about that is invite them along for the ride then. It seems pretty easy.

Is it possible to just listen and say **** when I need to, not having to talk to keep people entertained and still be a guy people want to hang with? It seems like today people love to be around the guy who talks the most and says the funniest things.

 

[DragonBlood]

It seems like today people love to be around the guy who talks the most and says the funniest things.

Not true. People like to hang out with people who make them feel at ease by being yourself. Yeah, a sense of humour helps break the ice with people but your life isnt a circus show.

Dont forget that people like to be entertained, doesnt mean you have earned their trust. Just be real. It will get you a group of reliable friends.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I don't know how much has changed about the military, but this is what I learned:

In a 40 man platoon, there will be two women. One will be hot. The other will be plain. The plain-looking one will be a GIANT slvt. And the hot one will have herpes.

 

[Ufcrocks1969]

If you're not funny then don't try to be, people who try to be funny but have no talent for it are... no, just don't do that.

You say you have nothing of value to say, so change that. Being funny is kind of a handicap, it allows people to present value to people without actually haveing it. Quit focusing on the people around you and instead focus on improving yourself. Travel, get some interesting hobbies, read the news. Get some stories to tell and develop opinions on things.

Being funny takes work like anything else. Funny people are relaxed! If you're too tense you can not be funny. I wasn't funny most of life and than boom I worked at it. I got better and better.