I Just Wanna Be Friends...

[April_Infinite]

Looks like I cannot cause a girl to like me as more than a friend, if even that. Yes, I have read quite alot of the bible and articles, and I know basically why this is. I'm a nice guy. Right now, being enlightened by this site, I'm trying to change that. Even with these changes, things are not clicking. First of all, I have a reputation for being very nice. No girl I know would ever take me seriously past an emotional tampon. And for the many girls I haven't met, when I met someone, when they get to know me, they see nice guy, which leads to me getting the dreaded just friends speech when I try to go for them romantically. I am trying currently to become a "nice jerk", which is what girls truly want in a man. But my Christian view of life, treating everyone nicely and everything is screwing me over.



Pretty much I have two questions. How do I become friends with girls, hence make them want to talk to me and share their life with me, instead of me having to do so all the time, and getting back general answers like they were talking to a familar stranger?

Also, do you guys have some deeper advice about how to create attraction with a girl, to pretty much get them to see me as a potiential partner, while keeping a "nice" personality?

 

[Jerky Boi]

You say being Christian means that you can't be aggressive when it comes to women. Now, coming from an older guy that went through high school on these forums and am currently in college, I kinda have an idea of how it works. Now, don't let your nice personality hold you back. Just because you go for what you want and you don't ask questions when you go for it doesn't mean you're not a "nice" guy. Now, keep in mind, being polite, opening doors, and pulling out chairs is part of the nice guy persona, however it is part of the Don Juan persona. You have to let the girl know you're physically attracted to her right off the bat. You sit there and toy with her, let her think you're just a friend, and watch the other guy who comes by and talks to her a week later take her away and you're in the friend's zone. Introduce yourself, don't be nervous. Treat her like any other person. Just remember your intentions are different than just that of a friend. Make her wonder when you're going to call. Don't give her a predictable, boring, nice guy stalker. You're better than that man. You gotta remember, women are pretty smart creatures but you're a man. Go for what you want. Don't be bitter if nothing happens, and always stay on good terms if all possible with the ladies. It seems nowadays all women in the world are friends now.

 

[comic_relief]

Pretty much I have two questions. How do I become friends with girls, hence make them want to talk to me and share their life with me, instead of me having to do so all the time, and getting back general answers like they were talking to a familar stranger?

Also, do you guys have some deeper advice about how to create attraction with a girl, to pretty much get them to see me as a potiential partner, while keeping a "nice" personality?

Hey,

1.) You are not looking for a friend. You are looking for a girlfriend. The only difference between the two is that you are letting your sexual edge into the equation. While a friend is not sexual, a potential must have some sort of sexual aura on him. Read Pook's: Secret of the Jerk in the bible.

2.) The best advice that I can give you is self-improve yourself. Forget about girls for now and work on yourself. Once you are the man of your dreams, than you shall be attracting women and other friends.

Also a word of advice, don't let people walk over you. Don't be a doormat.

I was what you were, and I managed to make a better life. It is possible.

comic_relief

 

[Michael Chief]

Yeah I had a lot of problems, too, when I used to be a christian. Now that I don't believe in god, i don't have any religious hangups, so im a better and more confident person. I can accpet responsibility and rely on myself. Life is great and I am sexually active.

Obviously, one great option to help yourself is to give up that silly thing called christianity. If you aren't open to that idea, however, here's another thing to consider:

Stop being selfish.
Ask yourself and be HONEST with yourself. Why are you "nice" in the first place? More than likely, it's a selfish motivation. The REAL way to be "nice" isn't what you are doing; the real and attractive way to be "nice" is to be sincere.

For example, think about a situation when you were being an emotional tampon for a female friend of yours. I'd bet an arm and a leg that you were doing that so that the girl could possibly see your humanitarian side so that she would become attracted to that side of you. And if you were REALLY honest with yourself, I bet that you'd find that you were being that nice emotional tampon so you could make the girl feel IN DEBT to have sex with you. We're talking raw subconscious intentions here. It's called selfishness.

Stop being such a selfish nice guy. lol

 

[April_Infinite]

Thank you for the reminder Comic Relief, it was enlightening reading it again. It might have pretty much answered my first question mostly. Of course it's vague, but trail and error is always fun. I still wonder how I can use my niceness to my advantage though, since it's not going anywhere soon.

Grim, I won't give up Christianity, but I won't let it get in the way of my DJ'ing, no worries.

I guess the other worry is still about the attraction part of the equation. I see people who have people just come up to them, and share whatever is on their mind with having to be asked firsthand, just because they enjoy that person that much. I've always wondered what I've been missing to get that reaction to happen to me with people; for them to just befriend me instead of me having to do all the work, not just with girls, but everyone. Any insights?

 

[GaryUranga]

theres a few trcks for easy attarction, act confident, C+F etc, but the real deal of it comes when you work on yourself and find a way to attract in a wait that actually suits you, getting that "right mindset"

as for that question think this yourself what do people that you are confortable talking to when you first meet them do?

 

[April_Infinite]

You must also realize the people that I enjoy talking to are usually quite good looking, and outgoing. I can become less shy, but I can't totally change my personality, well at least not in the two years I have until high school is over.

 

[GaryUranga]

this isnt just for highschool youll use this stuff once youre out of it and the game after HS is pretty similar if you think about it, I left HS at 17 and I still come to the HS forum cause its still the same game, anyways.

youre probably not cueing attraction, everyone can cue attraction, read parts on the bible about body language, and try to implement some C+F and most importantly confidence, be confident and then nothing else will matter, its not that easy, remember that all of this is supposed to be fun, and its not that hard.