"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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I just got flaked on, was I right to get kind of mad?

stoner1129

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So me and some chick I was talking to were supposed to hangout today, I was supposed to go over to her house and all that. So I called her just to see when a good time to go over would be, and she starts saying something like "Oh we were supposed to hangout today, well we're goin to have to another time" and I got just a little mad at it.

So she then says well i'll talk to you later, I say goodbye, and then she asks me if i'm mad. I don't remeber if I said a little or just oh well or both, but after that I said well i'll talk to you later and she just hung up.

So just was I right to show that I was mad, or what would you guys have done?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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ARrocket

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I don't think you should show that you're mad....ok, here is the thing. Don't contact her until she contacts you, and when she does, bring it up in a joking sort of way, but make sure she understands that what she did isn't cool.
 

DonGorgon

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Nah as soon as you get mad you fail the "Is he needy test"...LOL now you are in the desperate clingy catigory and she expects that you will start chasing her.

Solution ignore her... the set up a date and flake back to prove you dont need her.. Its a sad game but women love to play it.
 

stoner1129

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It wasn't that I got mad because she flaked on me, that just kinda helped it, it was mainly just because she's like been annoying me lately, so yeah.
 

PhatE1vis

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Getting mad isn't wrong, but showing it is. That gets you nowhere.

Example:
I had a girl flake on me earlier in the year. I just dropped her, never contacted her again. She's reached out a few times and finally asked me to hang out. I shot down her first request. She offered another date and asked me to call her. I told her I deleted her number...

THEN, she comes back with "you deleted my number because I got busy?" and told me I was weak and high maintenance. I maintained the frame calmly told her no, I'm just very selective about who I let in my life and unfortunately, she didn't make the cut. (exact words).

You should have seen the qualifying that went on from her at that point...telling me all the things that she's improved in her life, sending me pictures of her dressed up all cute, practically begging me to get together.

Lesson:
ALWAYS control yourself and the frame. Even if you're annoyed at that particular moment, you'll live to fight another day if you keep your cool.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DonGorgon

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PhatE1vis said:
Getting mad isn't wrong, but showing it is. That gets you nowhere.

Example:
I had a girl flake on me earlier in the year. I just dropped her, never contacted her again. She's reached out a few times and finally asked me to hang out. I shot down her first request. She offered another date and asked me to call her. I told her I deleted her number...

THEN, she comes back with "you deleted my number because I got busy?" and told me I was weak and high maintenance. I maintained the frame calmly told her no, I'm just very selective about who I let in my life and unfortunately, she didn't make the cut. (exact words).

You should have seen the qualifying that went on from her at that point...telling me all the things that she's improved in her life, sending me pictures of her dressed up all cute, practically begging me to get together.

Lesson:
ALWAYS control yourself and the frame. Even if you're annoyed at that particular moment, you'll live to fight another day if you keep your cool.
^^a truely wonderful post...!!!
 

SamePendo

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Let me put it to you this way.

You are one of the single google guys. You have lots to do in the day. You have lots of projects, a future. And a woman (any) woman, flakes on you, how would it look if you get mad?

Learn to be your own inspiration. What would stoner1129 do in this situation?

You're fvcking great. You have a future. All she has going for her is her looks.
 

splinterkb

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If she's been annoying you lately how come you're worried? If you didn't get mad, it would have shown that you got no balls and she would probably walk all over you. Don't be embaressed about your emotions.. she blew you off.
 

stoner1129

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I think this is funny, after you guys told me not to call her she puts this on her myspace page. "Looks like Karma strikes back on YOU starting March 22. o8. Call me! I know you'll think about it."
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Poonani Maker

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stoner1129 said:
So should I just still not call her or what?
Fvck no.
 

Interceptor

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Lesson:
ALWAYS control yourself and the frame. Even if you're annoyed at that particular moment, you'll live to fight another day if you keep your cool.
:up:
 

Brians_600rr

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stoner1129 said:
So should I just still not call her or what?
HAHA SIKE!! DO NOT call this chick. let her suffer... dont worry, stay cool, she'll end up calling u..

good luck bro
 

stoner1129

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Lmao, she now just put this on her page, "Yay! You didn't call! Now I'm free to do what I want! You were just holding me back! It's about time you & your dumb-ass friends got a clue! HA", I have no idea what she means by friends but lol.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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stoner1129 said:
then she asks me if i'm mad. I don't remeber if I said a little or just oh well or both, but after that I said well i'll talk to you later and she just hung up.

This must be flake month. Something is in the air I can't remember seeing so many threads. I was flaked on THREE times this weekend. I was feeling like a pimp with a date lined up for each night Fri-Sun.

Now what do you say when a flake asks you "if you are mad"?

My Fri night flake asked me this and I just laughed her off and insisted I was not mad.
 

DonGorgon

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My Name is Nobody said:
This must be flake month. Something is in the air I can't remember seeing so many threads. I was flaked on THREE times this weekend. I was feeling like a pimp with a date lined up for each night Fri-Sun.

Now what do you say when a flake asks you "if you are mad"?

My Fri night flake asked me this and I just laughed her off and insisted I was not mad.
You say "mad about what? we can just reschedule for some other time":cool:
 
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DonGorgon said:
You say "mad about what? we can just reschedule for some other time":cool:

I told her "why would I be mad? I'm going to call my other friend now"
 

stoner1129

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Yeah the only reason that I got mad is because "hanging out" means going over to her house and doing it, while she's the only one home. She's called me a couple of times before at night and told me that we coulda hung out but she didn't think that I had a ride, BS, she's told me that like 4 times and I guess it was starting to get to me.

So i'm curious, do you guys think she's actually glad that I haven't call her, or is she just acting stupid, but that she really wants me to call her?
 
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"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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