I just don't get it...

[Moneytalks]

My job as a waiter requires me to be friendly with people and confident. I have conversations with random strangers about almost anything and they appreciate it, and I enjoy it.

I've had to train 5 new girls this week and they've all been pretty good looking. I was fine with them and I could talk to them about random shiz.

I can talk to strangers at work, I can force myself to go to groups of 20 and ask if everything's ok. I open myself up to the potential of a lashing from 20 angry customers.

But I can't talk to one girl I don't know in the street....

Any ideas why?

 

[prairiedog24]

Any ideas why?

Yup. Absolutely no reason.

Think about it. The idea in your head is that it SHOULD be harder, and so it IS harder. That's it. Nothing else. You've practiced the others enough you're comfortable. But something that SHOULD be easier makes you more nervous. Makes sense to me.

I had to stand in front of actual judges and give an argument for law school this week. Despite being far more serious than doing it in front of my handfull of classmates, I was WAY more nervous the first time.

Practice practice practice.

 

[Scars]

You're protecting and hiding yourself behind the excuse that you're working. It's easy to come up to girls and ask them how they're doing and how their food tastes, because that's YOUR JOB. Picking up with the intent to seduce is a totally new ball game. It seems like you have pretty decent social skills, now go turn them around in a way that allows you to talk to girls on a more romantic level. It's going to be kind of hard to revert that mindset at first but you need to go out there and practice.

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

Prairiedog24 is right... during your work situations you are approaching and talking to strangers, even enjoying the interaction, because it's a part of your job. When you aren't working and see someone you'd like to meet it's more difficult for you because you don't have that same feeling of obligation.

Obligate yourself to meeting new people, and you'll be just fine.

eta: Scars, you beat me to it.

 

[macallik]

Well I bus tables currently part time. I remember when I first started, I was extremely nervous I was going to a table and refilling their water or even just making eye contact and a smile as I go by. A couple months of work and I aint anymore....

 

[Moneytalks]

I see what you're all saying. I'd say obligation is the real reason, but when I go to a table and they spark a conversation I don't feel the need to try and get away. I'd like to pull up the chair and talk with them!

We had one couple actually ask for me to go and say goodbye to them and told my boss I'm "a lovely young man", because I was confident with them and took the time to talk to them :yes:

Update on something:
We had the waitress that I had a crush on working tonight. I started just being a grumpy bastard because I had a 14 hour day with no break. Anyway, moving on to the end of service and resetting the restaurant...We were chatting about random stuff and I said "Right, we REALLY need to crack on. If we get it done by midnight, I'll buy you a triple vodka"
*laughs* "Can I not have wine? "
Me: Wine's good, I have loads at home
Her: *laughs* I'll be sat there off my tits on wine
Me: Aye, just don't sue me
Her: *giggles*
*I walk into the kitchen*
I saw her leaving and said "aaaah, I guess you don't wanna come for that drink then? "
Her:*Laughs* "says something I didn't hear and didn't ask her to repeat"
me: Ok, see you later

I missed **** loads out of that. For the record, my boss was being a d!ck because I shaved in the car this morning and my stubble looked....odd. Then he basically called me a retard. I was getting pwned in front of her, but I pwned my boss back by threatening not to work my notice.