I just changed my friendship forever...

[too suave]

this is an update from this thread:http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=72039

So I went for the kiss with my friend...and got rejected from the kiss.. she was like whoa buddy...


Anyways, she got the totally wrong msg and had though of 2 things that i could have wanted to tell her. either that i was gay or i liked her....she had asked me multiple times whether what i was going to tell her would affect our friendship and like a dumbass i said no so of course in her mind that night she figured i was going to say i was gay. she was totally not expecting when i went for the kiss and i got totally blocked and felt like a retard but whatever.

We talked it over for a few hours and she told me that if i instead talked about what i was feeling instead of the kiss it may have been different but she doesnt really know. She said she does have feelings for me but doesnt know what she wants and said she is not good enough for me. She said she is attracted to my personality so I take that she isnt physically attracted to me. Also she said she has liked me that way on and off because in her mind I am just "Brandon" and that it was hard to see me otherwise.

I think I am damn confused myself since I dont really know what i want out of it. When I first met her I wasnt really physically attracted to her but as I got to know her better her personality did start to win me over and I find her a lot more attractive.

We agreed to just try to keep it the same it has always been and we kept it humorous while we were talking afterwards. The thing is it will never truly be the same.

I do want to keep our friendship since we have become so close in the last 6 months or so. Maybe since I had never become so close to a girl before I got it mixed up with wanting to make it more but I dont know what I am thinking or doing anymore since I am blind.

 

[CrotchSniffer]

Originally posted by too suave
I think I am damn confused myself since I dont really know what i want out of it.

Thats your problem right there. Women can smell indecision on you a mile away, and its a turn-off!

 

[Cheat_LBJ]

Originally posted by too suave
this is an update from this thread:http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=72039

She said she does have feelings for me but doesnt know what she wants and said she is not good enough for me. She said she is attracted to my personality so I take that she isnt physically attracted to me. Also she said she has liked me that way on and off because in her mind I am just "Brandon" and that it was hard to see me otherwise.

TRANSLATION: I don't want to let you down hard, but I'm not physically attracted to you and do not see any potential for a romantic relationship.

If you'd have built things up a little more, gone out to dinner, gone someplace special, or set the mood up right, it probably might've felt a lot more natural.

Who knows. Either way, you've got to get over her as quickly as you can, because the more you let feelings for someone who doesn't want you linger, the more likely you are to get down on yourself and commit all your energies to finding some "secret plan" to get her to like you. Ain't happening.

-LB

 

[Ken785]

She said she does have feelings for me but doesnt know what she wants and said she is not good enough for me. [/B]

right there buddy....that means she doesnt even like you. its how a girl blows you off in a nice way.

 

[too suave]

i dont think i want to be with her that way. i think her personality won me over. weird thing is she told me she was jealous when she knew i liked another girl. anyways, i'd rather have her as a good friend to talk to than lose her over a relationship that may last only a short while.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

when she said to you that she didn't deserve to be with you, i would have said "fine, you're right... you don't deserve to be with me."

Originally posted by too suave
Anyways, i'd rather have her as a good friend to talk to than lose her over a relationship that may last only a short while.

that right there is your other downfall, when women can tell that their friendship means more to you than to lose, over a relationship, she IMMEDIATELY has the control.

that scaredness won't allow you to be confident and sure when it comes time to go for it. If it's on your mind that you're worried taking things to that step will ruin it, you'll immediately save yourself when she rejects you.

How were you going to kiss her. On the lips? Cheeks?

Next time a situation like this presents itself, be sure to be prepared for this sort of outcome.

 

[spider_007]

.....and had though of 2 things that i could have wanted to tell her. either that i was gay or .....

emphesis on the word GAY. Women shoud never EVER even think that your gay. BAD BAD BAD. Total turnoff. You have to be a MAN. She should have no dought what so ever.

 

[Desdinova]

So, in other words, you completely skipped over everything that would've led up to a comfortable kiss, and it ended up being uncomfortable. I'm not gonna put the blame on you for this one, because this was in the other thread:

When she asks you what's up just kiss her.

No offence to the DJ(s) who pushed this advice, but it wasn't good advice. A woman needs to be comfortable with you touching her non-sexually before she'll become comfortable with things like kissing.

It's a learning experience. I hope you take this knowledge with you when you make a move on your next girl.

 

[yunghova35]

Another dumbass that had to learn the HARD way.

 

[Desdinova]

Another dumbass that had to learn the HARD way.

Well, you have to at least give him credit for growing the ba11s to do SOMETHING even if it wasn't the best thing to do at the time.

 

[too suave]

I think I realized why she may have thought i was gay and it's actually a compliment in some sense. she found me to be funny, charming, easy to talk to guy that dresses well but because i have never been in a relatioship or kissed or had sex it led her to believe i was gay. I remember once when we were talking she said that it seemed like a guy like me would have been in a few relationships. I have actually gotten this a few times. Girls seem to wonder why I havnt had a girlfriend since I seem to have traits that girls do like.

 

[johnfjr]

no you don't. you don't have traits that girls like. read the ****in bible for god's sake. You became her GAY friend, not someone she would want to be involved with. You could easily cut your losses if you just studied some basic rules of attracting women. READ NOW AND STOP POSTING.

 

[frivolousz21]

how old are you?

 

[Don Juanabbe]

How the f*ck do you young guys keep ending up in the friendzone with these girls?

 

[PRMoon]

This whole situation wreaks of inexperience. You'd better just forget about this one and just go on being her friend. Maybe later she'll think it over and change her mind but it seems to me like you were hanging out in the friends zone for far too long, and when you tried to push out (in a rookie way) she was just not having it.

Take your knocks and find a new interest. Hope you learned from this one pal.

 

[tmpgstx]

She just doesn't find you attractive in that way. The kiss was a good indicator of this by action, though it was untimely, she still would have made it more easy for you. Also, she said herself that ends up being touchy/feely with someone she's romantically interested in.

You'll never have this girl that way, so it is time to move on, and this time don't be another girlfriend.

 

[tigre]

congratulations you´ve just been LJBF´d !

 

[too suave]

i'm really not all that upset. it's probably good to have some good friends that are girls they can give me their perspective on things.

 

[RoeCyris]

Originally posted by too suave
i'm really not all that upset. it's probably good to have some good friends that are girls they can give me their perspective on things.

B.S. and ill tell you why. Girls that give good head will give you an opinion too. And their perspective is from below your balls where as your perspective is from above. Thats a pretty different perspective.

I use to have problems like your current one. Accept this ONE girl as your female companion. No more thoa. Whoever said females can smell indecision and they dont like it is right. That use to be my biggest problem.

 

[harwell]

Re: Re: I just changed my friendship forever...

Originally posted by Cheat_LBJ
TRANSLATION:Who knows. Either way, you've got to get over her as quickly as you can, because the more you let feelings for someone who doesn't want you linger, the more likely you are to get down on yourself and commit all your energies to finding some "secret plan" to get her to like you. Ain't happening.

Perfect advise (speaking from experience, it's not fun if you don't give up)