I have trust issues, stemming back all the way into elementary school where my friends would turn on me and people would make fun of me. Every girl I liked turned out to not to like me and use me. Once I hit middle school, I put up a wall against everyone so I wouldn't get hurt ever again. But when I hit 7th grade, I had it very hard. I liked a girl who I was close with and my friends knew it. Next thing I knew, one of them decided to go out with her. That friend even threatened me to stop talking to the girl. And then this process continued with more girls, all the way until the end of 7th grade. By 8th grade, I put up a wall again. But I still talked with the same girls who my friends went out with.
But by high school, I stopped talking to them and tried to move on from everything. But in 9th grade, the process started over again and even started liking one of the girls (sasha) back in middle school. In the summer before my junior year started, Sasha and I talked alot. I revealed everything about how I felt and the past. But she told me she doesn't feel the same way. Her boyfriend even threatened me. She told one of my friends she doesn't care about me and after that, we stopped talking.
But when my junior year hit, only two months in, this girl (Let's call her Abby) and I started to have a complicated situation that's gone on for 8 months where she says she doesn't like me, but everyone else said she does. Even her sister told me Abby liked me and a complete stranger came up to me asking if me and Abby go out. So I asked her about it, but she said she didn't see me as a boyfriend, but she wanted to be friends. But I found out she might have been talking badly about me to people on our bus so mostly everyone on the bus knows about us. I'm a junior and she's a freshman. We used to talk almost everyday. She gives signals that she does like me all the time. She has a boyfriend and he threatened me for suggesting that she does like me. Abby and I stopped talking, but she continued to give me signals that she likes me so eventually we became friends again. But she stayed with her boyfriend who apparently made her mad alot, but she continues to stay with him because she loves him. She treated her boyfriend and her other friends better than me. Unfortunately, I fell in love.
After a while being friends, we somewhat got closer and even had deep conversations regarding my self esteem and that I should let my pain go. But eventually, Christmas came and Abby stopped texting me for a while. By the time she texted me back, I was angry. I told her that I feel like she will eventually forget about me, but she said it wasn't true. Then I told her that I didn't know what to do because most of my friends don't want me involved with her. So, after that, we stopped talking until the next month. On my birthday, she ended up telling me to move on. She didn't even tell me happy birthday. A week later, I wanted to get an explanation for everything she did and she told me that she doesn't care no more. So for a while, we didn't talk. But a couple of weeks later, she suggested that she wanted to die so I asked her if she's okay. She said yeah and we had small talk, but she stopped talking to me. I blocked her after that and she blocked me as well. Ever since then, Abby just stares at me a lot whenever I'm near her. She acts nervous and seems like she tries to avoid me. she isn't staring when she knows I am looking at her. She does it when I'm not looking, but my friends and I happen to notice her staring anyways. My friends say she tries to be slick when she looks at me. Then she shakes her head and tells one of my friends she doesn't like me every time my name is brought up in their conversations. More people are finding out about Abby and I and I keep finding out things I never knew about the situation. So I've been telling people I hate her now and I'm trying to convince myself that I actually do.
Originally, I thought Abby was playing games with me because of the staring. But now I think she has a different reason for staring at me all the time. At this point, I am no longer interested in a relationship with her. But I do want to be her friend and I believe it's my fault we're no longer friends because I was jealous. I liked her and she already had a boyfriend. Then I felt like she would treat me differently than her friends. She would be loud and crazy with her friends, but nice and soft-spoken with me. I didn't feel very important to her and I didn't know how or if I would ever fit into her world. And I didn't want to accept any of it. So, sometimes when we used to talk, I would say things to try to make her jealous and want to be closer to me. Sometimes, it seemed like it worked. And when I told her I didn't know what to do because most of my friends don't want me involved with her, I said that to make her jealous in a way. But ultimately it just cost me a friendship that I really want back. A few days ago, I said hey to her and she said it back and waved at me. Then, days later, I tried to talk to her to find out why she's always staring at me when she doesn't like me. But she made a face like she didn't want to talk to me and I asked if she still not cool with me and she kind of shook her head and walked away while I was talking.
Soon enough, I kiked Abby and told her I want to be friends again. She said okay and we started have small talk. But she stopped responding. So a couple days later, I kiked her and asked "do you want to be friends because I don't want you to feel like I'm bugging you. She said we can be friends. And I was like okay and "Did you miss me lol". She said "nah lol". Then we had small talk again but she stopped responding like before, but soon enough she read my message, but still didn't respond.
Eventually, I told her all about how I was jealous all of the time and that I just tried to make her jealous too. She referred to all the times I made her mad as "old news" though and that it's okay. She told me she doesn't care anymore. I asked her if she was referring to me or the situation. She said she doesn't care anymore and doesn't like me like that. So I told her that I accept that and after a small conversation, I stopped kiking her.
I didn't kik her for a week and out of nowhere, she followed me on instagram. I followed her a long time ago and she just now decided to follow me back. I finally kiked her again and after another short conversation, I stopped kiking her again. I felt that I should just leave her alone and get her out of my life so I blocked her on kik and instagram. Soon enough, I realized maybe I was acting irrational so I unblocked her on kik and instagram. But it didn't mean anything because the next day, her and I ended up having class together and she stared at me almost the whole time.
I want to move on from her and just forget about her, but I feel like a bad person for not talking to her anymore without an explanation. Abby's birthday is tomorrow and I feel like a bad person if I don't tell her happy birthday, even though she didn't tell me happy birthday. Are my trust issues affecting me? What is wrong with me? And why does she ignore me? PLEASE HELP!
But by high school, I stopped talking to them and tried to move on from everything. But in 9th grade, the process started over again and even started liking one of the girls (sasha) back in middle school. In the summer before my junior year started, Sasha and I talked alot. I revealed everything about how I felt and the past. But she told me she doesn't feel the same way. Her boyfriend even threatened me. She told one of my friends she doesn't care about me and after that, we stopped talking.
But when my junior year hit, only two months in, this girl (Let's call her Abby) and I started to have a complicated situation that's gone on for 8 months where she says she doesn't like me, but everyone else said she does. Even her sister told me Abby liked me and a complete stranger came up to me asking if me and Abby go out. So I asked her about it, but she said she didn't see me as a boyfriend, but she wanted to be friends. But I found out she might have been talking badly about me to people on our bus so mostly everyone on the bus knows about us. I'm a junior and she's a freshman. We used to talk almost everyday. She gives signals that she does like me all the time. She has a boyfriend and he threatened me for suggesting that she does like me. Abby and I stopped talking, but she continued to give me signals that she likes me so eventually we became friends again. But she stayed with her boyfriend who apparently made her mad alot, but she continues to stay with him because she loves him. She treated her boyfriend and her other friends better than me. Unfortunately, I fell in love.
After a while being friends, we somewhat got closer and even had deep conversations regarding my self esteem and that I should let my pain go. But eventually, Christmas came and Abby stopped texting me for a while. By the time she texted me back, I was angry. I told her that I feel like she will eventually forget about me, but she said it wasn't true. Then I told her that I didn't know what to do because most of my friends don't want me involved with her. So, after that, we stopped talking until the next month. On my birthday, she ended up telling me to move on. She didn't even tell me happy birthday. A week later, I wanted to get an explanation for everything she did and she told me that she doesn't care no more. So for a while, we didn't talk. But a couple of weeks later, she suggested that she wanted to die so I asked her if she's okay. She said yeah and we had small talk, but she stopped talking to me. I blocked her after that and she blocked me as well. Ever since then, Abby just stares at me a lot whenever I'm near her. She acts nervous and seems like she tries to avoid me. she isn't staring when she knows I am looking at her. She does it when I'm not looking, but my friends and I happen to notice her staring anyways. My friends say she tries to be slick when she looks at me. Then she shakes her head and tells one of my friends she doesn't like me every time my name is brought up in their conversations. More people are finding out about Abby and I and I keep finding out things I never knew about the situation. So I've been telling people I hate her now and I'm trying to convince myself that I actually do.
Originally, I thought Abby was playing games with me because of the staring. But now I think she has a different reason for staring at me all the time. At this point, I am no longer interested in a relationship with her. But I do want to be her friend and I believe it's my fault we're no longer friends because I was jealous. I liked her and she already had a boyfriend. Then I felt like she would treat me differently than her friends. She would be loud and crazy with her friends, but nice and soft-spoken with me. I didn't feel very important to her and I didn't know how or if I would ever fit into her world. And I didn't want to accept any of it. So, sometimes when we used to talk, I would say things to try to make her jealous and want to be closer to me. Sometimes, it seemed like it worked. And when I told her I didn't know what to do because most of my friends don't want me involved with her, I said that to make her jealous in a way. But ultimately it just cost me a friendship that I really want back. A few days ago, I said hey to her and she said it back and waved at me. Then, days later, I tried to talk to her to find out why she's always staring at me when she doesn't like me. But she made a face like she didn't want to talk to me and I asked if she still not cool with me and she kind of shook her head and walked away while I was talking.
Soon enough, I kiked Abby and told her I want to be friends again. She said okay and we started have small talk. But she stopped responding. So a couple days later, I kiked her and asked "do you want to be friends because I don't want you to feel like I'm bugging you. She said we can be friends. And I was like okay and "Did you miss me lol". She said "nah lol". Then we had small talk again but she stopped responding like before, but soon enough she read my message, but still didn't respond.
Eventually, I told her all about how I was jealous all of the time and that I just tried to make her jealous too. She referred to all the times I made her mad as "old news" though and that it's okay. She told me she doesn't care anymore. I asked her if she was referring to me or the situation. She said she doesn't care anymore and doesn't like me like that. So I told her that I accept that and after a small conversation, I stopped kiking her.
I didn't kik her for a week and out of nowhere, she followed me on instagram. I followed her a long time ago and she just now decided to follow me back. I finally kiked her again and after another short conversation, I stopped kiking her again. I felt that I should just leave her alone and get her out of my life so I blocked her on kik and instagram. Soon enough, I realized maybe I was acting irrational so I unblocked her on kik and instagram. But it didn't mean anything because the next day, her and I ended up having class together and she stared at me almost the whole time.
I want to move on from her and just forget about her, but I feel like a bad person for not talking to her anymore without an explanation. Abby's birthday is tomorrow and I feel like a bad person if I don't tell her happy birthday, even though she didn't tell me happy birthday. Are my trust issues affecting me? What is wrong with me? And why does she ignore me? PLEASE HELP!
