I have oneitis on steroids for this girl and it's gotten pretty bad

[dds98]

So basically there's this girl that I'm friends with that isn't really my friend when I come to think of it. She used to be a 10/10 hottie and extremely respectable but now she's like a 5/10 fatty who's kind of a slut and a tease now.

I have the most extreme possible oneitis you can have for this girl. I have failed so many times with her because she's basically the first girl I've ever really liked this much or have gotten this far with.

When I didn't make my intentions clear that I liked her, we were really good friends, we hung out a lot and got along really well. Ever since I made that first move, things have been awkward ever since.

Since I have huge oneitis for her I asked her to prom, thought she was gonna say no but she said yes. I think she said yes to prom out of desperation of not getting a date (now that she isn't a 10/10 anymore). I really want to fix my relationship with her but I don't know how to do it. Can anyone help?


Long version:

• Story starts Junior year of high school (last year)
• I'm a nerdy shy beta foreveralone white kid
• She's a somewhat popular white girl
• We end up with a class together
• I crush on her really hard but I never talk to her
• One act plays in school comes up, we're both in it
• We end up a little closer, more flirtation and IOIs
• Cast party comes up
• After the cast party me, her, another guy and another girl go to a donut shop
• I suggest that we should make a regular "adventure group" of the 4 of us
• The other girl there starts giving me hard IOIs, starts EXTREME kino with me in front of the other 2
• Because of this the other guy has no competition basically and swoops me, they become boyfriend and girlfriend
• I pretend I never liked her and I remain friends with the other 3
• After a while I think I got over her
• She progressively becomes less and less attractive, gets fatter
• I get more social skills and acquire more female friends
• He breaks up with her after 6 months towards the end of the summer
  
  
• Senior year starts
• All of my feelings for her resurface
• She keeps inviting me to hang out and we text constantly, many IOIs from her
• She invites me to a kickback at her house
• I don't make a move
• Other guy does, they hook up in her room
• She shows immediate remorse, starts repeating "I got the wrong guy"
• I later found out I was the RIGHT guy (whoops)
  
  
• I don't make any moves because she's basically slutty now
• We remain "friends" up until new years
• We go to the same new years party
• We make out for like 10 seconds at ball drop
• I ask her out a week later, she says "let's just be friends"
• At this point I'm like SCREW IT and completely cut contact with her
• We end up going to the same bonfire at a friend's house a month later and she does a lot of flirty **** with me, many IOIs
• I make a point to hang out with her and watch a movie with another couple as a double date, I do the classic arm around shoulder maneuver but I don't K-close her at all
• I start texting her again but sound really beta
• I tell her I want to make out with her (over text message) and she doesn't respond
• Next time I hang out with her I try kino, some resistance, no IOIs from her at all
  
  
• She's flirting with other guys right in front of me, but they're all fleeting
• Things are really awkward between us now
• Prom's coming up
• I still have extreme oneitis for her
• I ask her friend to 'feel out the situation' for me
• She tells me that I shouldn't ask her to prom
• A few weeks later her friend tells me she changed her mind
• I ask her and she says yes
  
  
• Sometimes she gives me IOIs, I reciprocate with kino, sometimes shes for it sometimes she isn't
• Everyone is thinking "WTF she's so unattractive why did you ask her to prom"
• Pretty sure she changed her mind because nobody else would want to ask her
• I want to fix this but don't know how

 

[WorkingDJ]

In no part of the story did I read you chased other women. That is your problem sir. You are better than this.

 

[dutchmaster]

just kiss her

 

[dds98]

just kiss her

I already did before

In no part of the story did I read you chased other women. That is your problem sir. You are better than this.

I have before, it's just that at this point my oneitis for her is at a peak

 

[Johnnyventana]

Dude, this chick isn't even out of high school yet and she is already fat? Imagine what she'll look like in 5 years, or by the time she's 30. Not good yo! And it speaks volumes that she is already letting herself go.

The only reason she has any power is because you are giving her all your power! Lame dude. She's knows you like her and is using you because of that. Period. It makes her feel good. Period.

Take it away!! Cancel prom on this B and get a real date. I still feel sorry for the dudes who went to prom, just to go. Trust me, I had way way more fun going with someone I nailed afterwards. Don't be a "friend" prom date. That shyte is embarrassing.

Do yourself a HUGE favor and bail on the B.

 

[nightcrawler]

hello good sir,

you're still a child. The advice given here on this forum is mostly useful for those in the 27-50 age bracket.

Four things:

For one, you're only 18

Secondly, nothing wrong with having a crush on a girl. In fact that's awesome, because you will try extra harder to get her, and girls love that. Just go with what your gut tells you to do. If you succeed and get the girl, awesome!...if not don't get down on yourself, because there's plenty to be learned from one's own mistakes.

Third, your self esteem seems to be lacking. I suggest you give yourself more credit. I am sure that you have plenty of good things about yourself that make you likeable, and that plenty of girls might like you without you even knowing it. Remember that even though you may have bad qualities, you also have good ones, and chances are those good qualities far outweight the bad ones.

And finally, take everything you read here with a grain of salt. The advice given here is mostly for for those in the 23+ age bracket.

good luck to you

 

[Johnnyventana]

I concur with Nightcrawler, except dds98 is being played. And played by a slutty fat chick.

Don't waste the easy fun carefree pounding years on her dds98. Don't regret.

 

[nightcrawler]

I concur with Nightcrawler, except dds98 is being played. And played by a slutty fat chick.

Don't waste the easy fun carefree pounding years on her dds98. Don't regret.

ty

i say let him get played...and who knows...he might turn the game around on her!

he'll learn a lot more by being played than by walking away

 

[Serg897]

he'll learn a lot more by being played than by walking away

Yeah, experience is always the best teacher.

 

[dds98]

Okay, I'll go with her in order to learn a lesson.

Regarding preventing getting played, I don't think I was getting played until just recently. I was think she's doing this to me now because I never made a real move on her.

Like, she had her friend tell me that I should try and sleep with her at the kickback and I didn't. Then I have some weird interactions with her where she's flirty and I don't make a move, and then instead I tell her via text I want to make out with her, kinda beta IMO.

And that's the reason I think. What can I do to fix that?

 

[Johnnyventana]

And that's the reason I think. What can I do to fix that?

The opposite.

 

[SoSuave666]

Do this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmMBrjtMMfs

You have nothing to lose man. I guarantee you don't end up marrying this girl so make a few mistakes with her. See what works. In 10 years you'll thank yourself for it.

 

[dds98]

Do this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmMBrjtMMfs

You have nothing to lose man. I guarantee you don't end up marrying this girl so make a few mistakes with her. See what works. In 10 years you'll thank yourself for it.

I dunno. It might be awkward if she resists, especially if it's in front of a lot of people.

 

[dds98]

Wait, what if I just talked to her about it? Is that a good idea or is it 'beta'?

 

[Zarky]

OP you are making all the mistakes a man of your age should. I know that's not very helpful but at this point the only thing that will help is by being emotionally squashed.

Having said that here are three tips which don't seem relevant to your situation but actually are:

1) Don't marry her or anyone else
2) Don't get her or anyone else pregnant
3) Don't do anything that will get you thrown in jail.

Make it through your teens and 20s following those three rules and you will go far.

As someone else said, do what you think is right in this situation (other than any of the above) and you will learn much.

 

[dds98]

That doesn't really help very much...

 

[Down Low]

No, it doesn't help.

All I can say is that the proper age difference is about 10 years. She's way too old for you. And you're not yet mature enough, emotionally tough enough, experienced and wise enough, to be husband material. When you get in your late 20s to early 30s, you'll be able to wrap any woman around your little finger.

For now, you must endure your young adulthood as did your father and his father before him. This is the time for you to be rebellious, change the world, try to do something good for mankind, try to master kung fu, whatever.

The women who are right for you . . . are still in kindergarten. Accept that the next several years will present many women who are completely wrong for you. You'll sow some wild oats. Don't worry about whether this fat b1tch sucks your c0ck or not. Another will.

 

[Packers2010]

just take a shot man. not much else you can do.

I mean after 8 years of loving my oneitis girl i fooked her. so it can happen.

 

[HalfAddict]

Unbelievable that any of you would even suggest he goes to prom with this girl let alone give her another minute of his time, especially when she is just ****ing with him.

dds98 make a move immediately, if it fails never contact her again, it would simply be a waste of time.

Your princess is another castle seems to be the popular way of saying this now.

I went to prom with my oneitis back in the day and did not make a move ended up spending a good 400 bucks between tickets, food, suit and limo, hell I did not even want to go but she did and I went like a sucker. Save yourself the trouble and ask a chick who is interested not desperate for a sucker.

 

[dds98]

The only problem is that I already asked her, she said yes, and we both paid for our bids already. And apparently she wants to go with me.... but as friends? Especially since I've made so many attempts to get at her? I don't understand girl logic.

How would I unask her without looking like a douchebag?

And again with the spontaneous kissing thing? Wouldn't that make things extremely awkward if she resisted? And wouldn't it be a dick move if she resisted and then I immediately cut contact?