I have lost ALL my confidence...and I'm depressed...I need MAJOR help...

[Tantric]

Well...I guess I should have listened to everyone on this site…


I haven't been on the boards in a looooonnnnnngggg time. I left Sosuave about 5 months ago, mad, angry, and pi$$ed off at everyone. Why? because my ego is waaaaaayyyyy to big.

I know i'm going to get a lot of flak from everyone...bear with me here.

For the past 5 months I've been dealing with a case of one-itis...didn't realize it until last week.

back in December, I started fvcking HBOreo (HB10 Paris Runway model). She would never go out wth me, hardly ever return a call...then i find out she's also fvcking her agent. About a week after i find this out, he tells her to fvck off and he ends it...so for the past 5 months she has been off and on with me.

I didn't listen to anyone here...every DJ told me EXACTLY what was going on, and what was going to happen...but noooooooo...my ego told me that I was right...not the unanimous opinions of 30 other experienced people.

Anyway, HBOreo has constantly been telling me how amazing i am...tells me how sexy i am, how she thinks about us together...how she wasted all of her time with her agent, but she wasn't "ready" to move on yet. We'd get really close, then she'd back off completely...no calls, distant at school, avoidance. Then back on again...

i was also being careful based on what has happened to date with her, so i haven't made any moves on her. Seemed like she was all talk, but that small part of me that wants her took over.

yes, i know...I allowed her to fvck with me. As a result, i developed a case of one-itis. Now keep in mind, i decided to remain "friends" with this girl...not to be in the LJBF zone, but to re-establish attraction, and see if i could develop another tie. And yes, i wanted a relationship with her.

last week, out of the blue, we get into an argument because she feels it necessary to reveal that she was never once attracted to me...uh huh...right...like your gonna **** some guy you were never attracted to...anyway, she flipped on me...i flipped on her...i told her to fvck off. I wasn't sure if i meant it or not because we were in a heated argument. Anyway, she emails me, and tells me she has a lot of shyt in her life to deal with, and wants to take a break. i tell her to do whatever she wants and to contact me when SHE wants, as i was not going to contact her again.

One week goes by.

At school there's a bit of tension, and we start talking again.

I get an email from her when i get home, continuing the convo we had...okaaaaaayyyyyy...????

I don't respond to it.

The next day (last night), i get another email from her accusing me of telling people at school that her and i were "dating", and how she HAS moved on from her ex, and is now seeing "A" (a guy i know in school).

Like i care...

Actually i did...both the accusations and finding out she's now seeing this other guy in school did bother me.

A LOT!

I then realized that i wasted the last 5 months on 1 girl...i developed a major case of one-itis...stopped macking...stopped closing...i stopped everything...my energy was focused on this one girl...and I've been completely depressed.

So i mailed her back and told her to fvck off...that if she's going to accuse me of bull$hit, then at least respect me enough to call me and ASK, instead of jumping to conclusions. I reminded her that our whole "friendship" was based on lies, deceit, accusations, and some sort of dramatic "fantasy" she has created. I told her that everything between her and I was over, and to never email me, call me, or talk to me at school again.

And then all my friends reminded me that they've been trying to tell me about all her bull$hit for the past 5 months...

So...i went out and fvcked another girl...man...hadn't been laid since December. And i hated it. I'm in a really, really bad zone, and i have no idea how to get out of it. My confidence level is next to nothing...i went from being one of the most popular guys in school to a ****ed up head case...

Anyway…I have no idea what I was thinking.

I left this board pi$$ed off at everyone, telling everyone here that they were wrong about Oreo...and now I'm aksing if i can come back.

I need to get my head straight again, and get back to being me BEFORE i met Oreo. Now that she is out of my life completely, i'm hoping this is a first step...

Let the flak and negative fedback begin...

 

[Crank_It_Up]

she's not out of your life yet. You are still crazy about her, and she knows it. There is no way to get over these feelings quickly. However, it is possible to fake it. Yes, you can portray the feeling of not caring any more, even though you have been reduced to a trembling dish rag in her company.

If you did not care about her, it would be impossible for her to get you upset. So that is the key, never show her that you are the least bit upset over any of her actions.

Everyone makes mistakes, but the smarter you are, the less time you will waste. Some people will waste a few weeks, others a few decades... the choice is yours.

 

[Hollowpoint]

Tantric- "Hello my name is Tantric."
Group- "Hello Tantric."
Some guy- "No matter what it is, we've been there too, we're here to help."



Um......good story? Live and learn...

 

[Dirtheart]

Sometimes we all have to learn the hard way. The most valuable lessons are the ones we learn from personal experience. Unfortunately, when emotions are involved it's near impossible to see rationally. I don't think anyone could hold that against you.

When I came here to begin with, I wanted advice on getting my girlfriend back. Nearly everyone told me to move on, but I didn't want to hear that; I was adamant I wanted (needed) her back and just wanted to know how...nothing else. But what I failed to see is that everyone here was giving me a rational and emotionally-detached perspective, which I was incapable of.

But if I'd have got my way and had a second chance, there's no doubt I'd have blown it. I'd still be acting the AFC with low self-esteem. I'd feel indebted to her for the opportunity...God, I cringe now just thinking of how things would have turned out.

My advice is to learn from your mistakes with this girl and decide what steps to take to avoid repeating them.

Best of luck and welcome back.

 

[Tantric]

Thanks for the replies...

Yeah...even after i told her to fvck off i know there's a part of me that still has "feelings"...her and I have been arguing the past couple of weeks, so obviously she has some sort of "attachment" as well.

In the last email i sent her, there wasn't any "hatred", and i tried not to show too much anger...i just said straight-up, "knock of the bull**** accusations...i don't care who you are dating. Since the beginning all you have ever done is create bull**** and lie to me...don't call me, email me, or talk to me at school...our "friendship" is over."

Obviously it was a bit longer than that

I've ignored her completely at school before, so now's the time to get back on that track...don't acknowledge her presence, and move on...

 

[MindOverMatter]

She likes the drama, that's why she keeps coming back to mess with your head. What's done is done, it's only a failing experiance if you do not learn from it.

The key lessons here are the following (if you've been to this website before you should know these, but i'll type them anyway in case you forgot):

- don't let your confidence drop because of something like this. if you learn from your mistakes, then failure is equal to success.

- don't let a cheater back in your life, get rid of her as soon as you find out. you could have saved yourself a whole lot of trouble by just ending it there. jesus, especially a girl who sleeps around in order to improve her career. would you really want a relationship with such a low caliber person?

- if a girl says she doesn't find you attractive, don't argue it, be cool, say "ok", and break off contact with her, and move on. if she apologizes, ignore it. either a.) she really thought you were unattractive and is lying, or b.) she wanted to crush your self esteem. Either way, she's not worth taking back.

- when a girl breaks up with you, don't launch into those long heated arguments, just be cool, say "ok", avoid explaining anything further, and if she asks you if you're gonna be ok, say "don't worry about it" or as Gio says "Nothin' i can't handle". then move on with your life.

which leads to the next point:

- when a girl breaks up with you, don't take her back. it demeans you. it tells her that you can't find anyone else out there that's better then her, so you're forced to get back together with someone who has rejected you.

Good luck man.

 

[drmeathead]

love is like a flame it will burn you when it its hot.


i m in the process of getting over a girl i fell for too. it is a process. you will have good days and bad. sometimes both in the same day. find a rebound girl. it helped me in the short term.

also telling her off makes u feel good short term. dont burn any bridges when u do though. esepecially if still have unresovled feelings for her. if you say something that will cease communication, that will only produce more frustration and depression when u wush you could talk to ger but she wont even speak to you.

notihngis worse than being ignored by somebody you care about. being ignored is the ulimate form of rejection. that is why girls that flake and just stop talking to you are bigger a holes than girls who just cut things off with a talk.

 

[Phonenix DJ]

Lifes lesson!

My dear

I know how does it feel. Youre not the first neither the last to fell in the trap!

At least you know you've been "used" or "abused" by this girl!
What is sad is that you allowed her to do it!

When we "show" too much interest our respect is lost!

Even though you like this girl, DONT ENTER in an argument with her! Move on, shut up! if you get angry you show her that she has power over you! Because she knows you like her and is angry because she is not interested!

Ive been there. I really got mad, lost my sense of humor, entered in a "RUDE" MODE . But its useless. Move on! I know its hard, but you its your last option after all.

I was really confident, happy, witty. After some problems with a girl. I was serious, kinda insecure.

I think its normal. We have to take a break and recover...

Believe me, when this feeling is gone, youll be free!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

My prophetic utterances to you your last thread were…

”Why are you so down on yourself? You've been with this hor for four months and she never showed any loving emotions towards you, or said any loving words to you. You said she flaked on you outside the bedroom and diregarded your advances.

You were her pimp and she was your hor - and you were just the next penis in line. Never get emotionally attached to a hor...”

Here are the threads you initiated over this Super-model (Super-ho) in the last few months in reverse time order - you were on a mission…


01-30-2004 Why I am leaving this forum FOREVER, and the ending results with HBOreo..

12-15-2003 HBOreo has pi$$ed me off for the last time!!!!!!

12-01-2003 Lay Report...HBOreo ain't to SHY AFTERALL!!!!!

11-28-2003 Girl FLAKED on me for the SECOND time!!!

11-19-2003 I just pulled to WORST AFC move in the book!! Holy Shyt!!!!!

11-14-2003 Field Report...# CLOSED a HB9

11-10-2003 hmmm...macked this HB9 Model...odd situation though...

 

[Befuddled]

Ha ha told you so lol...just kidding. i dont remember your particular case.

But yeah, you dont have to have any form of loyalty to this board. just learn what you need and move on. just share experiences and help if you can.

Apart from that, you know the drill for one-itis. just stick by the usual:
-get your life back togetehr again (more for yourself than your 'image'/popularity)
-goto gym/play sports
-go out with the buddies, get drunk, have fun
-dont fret n sulk, be around people
-dont listen to 'those' songs
-have fun with your life...your only here once.
-steer clear of the hoe

Cheers.

 

[DEKKA]

live and learn... what can i say
live and learn

 

[dcfball]

29 is way to old for this ****

 

[Tantric]

yeah...i hear ya...

I do remember PuertoRican_Lover's posts...i guess i fell into the ego trap of "not getting what i want", and ended up pushing for something that obviously wasn't there.

Go figure though...I got home from work a few minutes ago and there is an email from the biatch in my inbox...

Hmmm...didn't i say "don't reply to this email, don't call me, don't talk to me in school"?? She's already broken rule #1.

She's likes to be in control and have the last word...so...do i READ the email and respond (cuz i love getting the last in word too), maybe tell her to re-read my PREVIOUS email...or just send it straight to the recycle bin

...hmmm...

what would pi$$ her off more...

 

[MindOverMatter]

delete the message. if you respond to get the last word in, she will respond to get the last word in, and you're gonna keep going on and on. it's obvious she just wants drama, don't give her the satisfaction, kick her out of your life.

 

[Tantric]

i hear ya...

I sent the mail directly to the recycle bin...unfortunately, my eye i caught a bit of her mail as it went in. The words, "stupid a$$ mother fvcker" were on the first line...followed by some statement about February.

Whatever...i deleted without seeing anything else.

ummmm...issues? Sounds like she has a lot of hatred in there and is trying to hurt me by getting the last word in.

What a fvcking biatch!

 

[Pulsar]

Originally posted by Tantric
i hear ya...

I sent the mail directly to the recycle bin...unfortunately, my eye i caught a bit of her mail as it went in. The words, "stupid a$$ mother fvcker" were on the first line...followed by some statement about February.

Whatever...i deleted without seeing anything else.

ummmm...issues? Sounds like she has a lot of hatred in there and is trying to hurt me by getting the last word in.

What a fvcking biatch!

Just think about it like this man. You could let this hoe upset you and run your confidence down into the ground or you could stand up for yourself and take charge of your life and move on to the next level.

Are you gonna let some manipulative ***** have her way with you, or are you gonna outsmart her and take your skills to the next level by moving on with your life and realizing that out of 3 billion women, one hoe does not make a damn difference, even if she was hot...coz there are lots of hot chicks out there.

Plus, why should you let one mean dumb ***** control your confidence in the first place?

Good Luck with it dude, I'm sure you'll find a way through this

 

[white_hype]

how bout u write a novel next time and mail it to someonee who gives a fvcuk

 

[Tantric]

yeah...

I want this biatch out of my life...seeing her at school is going to be fun....

I think i't would be easier to deal with if I never saw her again.

 

[Tantric]

JESUS CHRIST!!!

Ever since i told this chick to fvck off, all I've been getting is harassing emails and phone messages from her!!!

WTF!!!

I turn on my computer a weeks ago, and all i see is, "Tantric, go to HELL! You stupid Mother Fvcker!!!!! Blah blah balh..."

Huh?

The she mails me 2 days laters and apologizes...

Then i check my voice mail 2 more days later, and i get a fvcked up message, "Tantric, you and i were NEVER friends!!! Don't call me, don't email me, don't talk to me at school!!!! GOODBYE!!!"

Huh? #2

2 days later I get ANOTHER message on my machine. "Tantric, you are a fvcked up crack-head!!!! Everyone at school now KNOWS that Adam and I are dating!!! Seeing as i only told YOU, you are fvcked up!!! I can't belive you went around and told EVERYONE!! You are so childish and immature...this isn't Jr. Highn school!! You are soooo fvcked up!!!

I had ENOUGH of this bull****, and fvcked up messages, so i called one one final time. Seeing as how i didn't know what the hell she was talking about, i started off with that. The biatch yelled for about 30 min...then hung up on me.

I called her back and remained calm, and kept my cool. After about 1 hour she revealed that a friend of a friend of a friend asked her about him, and they said they "heard" me talking about it.

Whatever.

She basically thinks i went around the whole school gossiping about my/her personal life.

Anyway, AGAIN, i told her to never call me, email me, or talk to me at school...i am DONE!!!!

So...myself and all of my friends have bets going now...trying to guess how long it will take for her to call me/contact me again.

Jesus...

 

[Lost]

I KNOW you can block email and im sure u can probly block her #. why dont u do that so u dont have to hear from her.

oh and ... listen to Pulsar's advice... his sounded the most motivational out of all of these replies. good luck.