I have had a girlfriend for 3 years, and now she wants to F*@K other guys!

[spax]

Hey guys,

I need some advice. I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years now. I'm her first boyfriend and shes my first girlfriend. We are both 20 years old.

Everything has been going great so far.

Today, I turned on my computer, and her facebook was open from the last time she was over. The chat window was open, and it was a conversation between her and her best friend.

In this conversation, she said that she feels she will be with me for a long time, so her and her friend must go to Spain and party and have a fling with a hot tanned Spanish guy so she can feel that she has lived life fully.

I was pretty shattered when I read that. I wouldnt cheat, but the fact she could so easily is upsetting and makes me want to cheat. And then she mentions to her friend that she wishes I would tan. (Unfortunately I get moles easily and would probably get skin cancer and melanomas if I tanned).

Anyway. Thoughts? I know it is easy to say 'NEXT' but it has been 3 years and I have invested so much in the relationship. I'd appreciate your advice bros.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Who cares how long you been together. That's great that you would never cheat but your gf obviously wouldn't do the same. If she really loved you that much she wouldn't want to cheat on you. I don't know about you but I rather have a gf that would never cheat on me.

First off you have no business in her conversation with other folks but if you do then that's shooting yourself in the foot, basically. Young girls go in a phase. That's why it is so hard to be in a LTR with them.

My advice to you is to see if this is a phase where she is just thinking about it and not acting upon it. If she does however act on it I'm pretty sure you know what you should do.

 

[Drdeee]

Make her read your laptop where you say you want to f@ck other guys. I think any girl that wants to f@ck other guys isn't the right one.

 

[spax]

Who cares how long you been together. That's great that you would never cheat but your gf obviously wouldn't do the same. If she really loved you that much she wouldn't want to cheat on you. I don't know about you but I rather have a gf that would never cheat on me.

First off you have no business in her conversation with other folks but if you do then that's shooting yourself in the foot, basically. Young girls go in a phase. That's why it is so hard to be in a LTR with them.

My advice to you is to see if this is a phase where she is just thinking about it and not acting upon it. If she does however act on it I'm pretty sure you know what you should do.

Well If I ever hear 'Me and my friend are going to Spain..' I'll know what to do. Pretend to be all sweetie and loving. And when she comes back, cover her entire bed with photos of me banging different chicks while she was gone and using her love letters to whipe my **** clean. :yes:

 

[Iceberg]

Anyway. Thoughts? I know it is easy to say 'NEXT' but it has been 3 years and I have invested so much in the relationship. I'd appreciate your advice bros.

A house is an investment. Gold. A business. An island.

Those are investments.

A relationship is not an investment. The minute you begin looking to hang onto a dying relationship because of the "investment" is the minute you start losing.

So aside from NEXT, what response could you possibly expect? Your woman has confided in others that she seeks to bang other guys. What's the solution supposed to be? A conversation? The silent treatment?

And seriously, you're f**kin 20 years old. I don't blame her for wanting other dudes. It's retarded to consider settling down at 20. You've barely grown into your bodies yet.

 

[The Piano Master]

Please send your gf my way, I'll fix this problem.







...j/k bro, it sounds like u guys are fine. dont sweat it! :nono:

 

[5string]

It's one thing to have a fantasy about this, but another to make plans to actually do it.

I'd dump her.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Wow... you're saying they're fine?? (Piano Master^^)

When a girl verbalizes that she wants to do something, she WILL find a way to do it. SHe WILL make it happen.

I repeat... She WILL do it once the words have left her mouth (or she has expressed it in text).

You are young. 95% of girls in your age bracket have their heads completely, fully and deeply up their butts. They are emotionally confused and highly susceptable to influence from the media they are bombarded with. And what they are bombarded with is images and stories of their peers whoring around.

Get out. Get out now. This is the time to stand up, be a man, and declare your boundaries. It's difficult and even heartbreaking, but she is doing you a favor by having revealed who she is to you. Maintain your SELF-RESPECT, realize that she has verbalized the INTENT to ignore your reasonable boundaries, and kick her ass to the curb.

Prepare for her to be "incensed" that you looked at her FB ppage. She will turn it into that issue to avert responsibility.

Chicks....

 

[MartyMcFly]

I think what a girl says and what a girl does are two different things. So. In any case, if she does it over there. What makes you think she won't do it over here?

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

I think you should talk with her about it. Maybe it's best that you two part ways for a while and see other people.

My ex talked with me about seeing other people casually during a LDR and then she got whatever she wanted out of that and suggested we stop seeing other people. Then she broke up with me 2 months later.

Sometimes people aren't ready to settle down... I know that I wasn't at 20, even if I had found the best woman out there.

 

[scorpio1138]

A woman I know once told me about a "last fling" she had just prior to moving out of state to live with her fiance.

Everything was set. She would move in with him and then they would get married. This guy was perfect. Good looking, made a great income, a perfect guy to start a family with.

She could NOT possibly do any better.

The weekend before the move, she goes out with friends with the intent of a "one last time" casual fling.

She does it, then moves in with him, they get married, have 2 kids and live happily ever after to this day. (the fling happened almost 20 years ago).

I asked her why she did it.

Her response?

I knew I would be with this guy for the rest of my life and wanted to party one last time.

Imagine the destruction I could have caused her, had I told him about it.

What I learned from that and what is often preached here, is that women will do what they want, when they want even at the risk of losing everything.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

To the OP. My advice is:

1) Don't mention you read her Facebook and or come off like you have any idea what her plans are.

2) Keep a list of all the things you feel aren't working with her. (For points on eventually leaving.)

3) Go out for yourself and meet alot of girls. All you have to do is talk to them and not try to pick them up. Girl's will get defensive if they suspect it unless they really want you to (you can mention you have a girlfriend but things aren't working out) and don't go into details. Chicks will then feel "safe" you have a girlfriend and you aren't trying to "pick them up", but will see you as a challenge as you "have" someone but things are "shaky" and it will subconsiously make them possibly want to chase you instead. Especially if you are your own man and listen to the good advice on here in regards to not kissing up to them.

4) When she does decide to leave for Spain...Don't contact her at all while she's there or answer her if she tries to contact you. Pretend to feel happy she is going and you are excited for her to go. It'll trigger doubt in her mind and knock her down a few pegs as she'll wonder why you are "so happy".

REMEMBER: DO NOT MENTION YOU KNOW ANYTHING.

Have chicks lined up for when she leaves.

Then go COMPLETE no contact on her and get rid of anything the two of you had. Notes, Facebook "friends" with each other etc.

It'll fvck up her vacation whether she decides to go through with her plans or not.

She is going to find and use any reason ANYWAY to do what she's going to do. ANY.

It's not fvck you.....It's fvck her. So let her get "fvcked"... Royally.

 

[5string]

To the OP. My advice is:

1) Don't mention you read her Facebook and or come off like you have any idea what her plans are.

2) Keep a list of all the things you feel aren't working with her. (For points on eventually leaving.)

3) Go out for yourself and meet alot of girls. All you have to do is talk to them and not try to pick them up. Girl's will get defensive if they suspect it unless they really want you to (you can mention you have a girlfriend but things aren't working out) and don't go into details. Chicks will then feel "safe" you have a girlfriend and you aren't trying to "pick them up", but will see you as a challenge as you "have" someone but things are "shaky" and it will subconsiously make them possibly want to chase you instead. Especially if you are your own man and listen to the good advice on here in regards to not kissing up to them.

4) When she does decide to leave for Spain...Don't contact her at all while she's there or answer her if she tries to contact you. Pretend to feel happy she is going and you are excited for her to go. It'll trigger doubt in her mind and knock her down a few pegs as she'll wonder why you are "so happy".

REMEMBER: DO NOT MENTION YOU KNOW ANYTHING.

Have chicks lined up for when she leaves.

Then go COMPLETE no contact on her and get rid of anything the two of you had. Notes, Facebook "friends" with each other etc.

It'll fvck up her vacation whether she decides to go through with her plans or not.

She is going to find and use any reason ANYWAY to do what she's going to do. ANY.

It's not fvck you.....It's fvck her. So let her get "fvcked"... Royally.

Here is the winner of this thread! I'd rep you but can't as I gave you rep not long ago for some other wise post. OP....do what Ninja says.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Here is the winner of this thread! I'd rep you but can't as I gave you rep not long ago for some other wise post. OP....do what Ninja says.

I love playing "clueless". If that happened to me....While she's "plotting". I'm planning on my future without her.

You never know what better person is out there for you to meet if you stay with someone you know is wrong for you.

You'll look back on the "experience" and say to yourself "WTF was I thinking with that chick?"

 

[5string]

I love playing "clueless". If that happened to me....While she's "plotting". I'm planning on my future without her.

You never know what better person is out there for you to meet if you stay with someone you know is wrong for you.

You'll look back on the "experience" and say to yourself "WTF was I thinking with that chick?"

Yep. I just hate to see a gal do this to her LTR. Absolute dealbreaker right now if it were me. Just pisses me off to read this.

I'd dump her faster than a prom dress falls off. I do however like your idea the best.

 

[slaog]

In this conversation, she said that she feels she will be with me for a long time, so her and her friend must go to Spain and party and have a fling with a hot tanned Spanish guy so she can feel that she has lived life fully.

I was pretty shattered when I read that. I wouldnt cheat, but the fact she could so easily is upsetting and makes me want to cheat. And then she mentions to her friend that she wishes I would tan. (Unfortunately I get moles easily and would probably get skin cancer and melanomas if I tanned).

Anyway. Thoughts? I know it is easy to say 'NEXT' but it has been 3 years and I have invested so much in the relationship. I'd appreciate your advice bros.

Well, shes just revealed that she wants to "live". In other words go out and end up in some strangers room where and open her legs. She mentions Spain but the reason people talk about doing things like that out foreign is because they can get away with it there easily. She'd do it where she lived if she can and will do it sometime by the sounds of things.


Also you have to question her mentality. Shes not only thinking about it but openly discussing it with her friend. Her friend is probably another cheater. Remember the saying: birds of a feather flock together.


Be very careful and start looking elsewhere. You said yourself cheating never entered your mind so maybe you should look for a girl with similar standards.


Do you both have any relationship rules? Any dos and don'ts?

 

[slaog]

Imagine the destruction I could have caused her, had I told him about it.

She would be the one causing the destruction. You didn't do the act she did. And why did she tell you about it? It doesn't seem to be a big secret!

 

[Uberguy]

In this conversation, she said that she feels she will be with me for a long time, so her and her friend must go to Spain and party and have a fling with a hot tanned Spanish guy so she can feel that she has lived life fully.

NEXT!

Does that sound too harsh? I'm sure it does. What's even harsher is that she's talking about cheating on you. Or even worse, that she wants to cheat on you so she can be with you. What the @#(% is up with that?

She's your first love, and first loves hurt. I know it's not easy to NEXT her, but it's less painful than getting dumped by her first. And I think you know, deep down inside, that that's where this is going.

I hate to see a good guy get taken for granted by a stupid girl that doesn't realize what she has, but it happens every single day.

She's already dreaming of schtuping some Spanish hunk? Good for her. Beat her to the punch and seduce some hotter Latina before your soon-to-be-X even makes it to Spain.

NEXT!

 

[Voice]

Most of the advice is right. I agree with a lot of people like Tom Leykis who say there's no reason to have a relationship when you are under 25. She's getting bored, and pretty soon you'll begin to feel the same way.

Imagine it flipped around. Your buddies are going to spring break in Cancun and plan on nailing a dozen sorority chicks each. Wouldn't you feel the same way that she does? Wouldn't you want an adventure? Honestly I'd say separate with her. Maybe keep her around for some sex every now and then, but talk to other girls. My roommate just broke up with his gf of two years and he couldn't be any happier. He just got blown by some 18 year old the other night. THAT COULD BE YOU!!!

 

[f283000]

Look at this as a blessing.

You're barely 20 and because you are so inexperienced with women you were probably still in the belief that women are precious loyal little angels (like most guys when first starting out with women). Now that you found out that you can never trust a woman I hope you start TO LIVE A LITTLE YOURSELF!