I Have Changed Dramatically - Need Help!

[SIXPAKGQ]

I am going to be 27 next month. At this time my life has just about gone rock bottom. I use to be an AFC till age 21 and then slowly got into the DJ mode. Actually I would have considered myself a near master DJ at age 23-25....these were the times of my life. I could approach any women I want regardless of how good they look and got dates. Basically I had this 'don't give a daym' attitude....well at those times I was also in college with a decent job that paid well.

Things have changed dramatically, and since then I've been going downhill. I have moved from California to Texas. Its just that everything is totally new to me. Basically I am going through a pre-mature mid life crisis. I am trying to get my career together. I do not have any friends here in Texas (they are all in California). I can't seem to interact with any women. I actually did have a FWB for a month here in Texas but that was b/c she asked me out. I am not sure what kind of vibe I am giving to females but I maybe intimidating women? I consider myself a above-average looking guy. I have an average face, nice hair, sharp features, with a modelish built, tan brown flawless skin, and I am 5'10". Women look at me as cute or hot or handsome, it varies from women to women. I have noticed that when I dress nice, my confident is rock bottom and I tend to act stuck-up but when I am dressed trashy which is a rare, I am friendly. What is wrong with me? Also women and men have labelled me as a player which I always disagreed and the women tend to think I am taken or fooling around with girls......

I would appreciate some of your feedbacks and comments.

Discuss

 

[Wyldfire]

Southern women are different than women in other areas. Spend some time listening to and watching the social skills and habits of guys who do well with women there. You need to re-train yourself to fit in socially. It's a whole different world in the south. It's where women tend to go for men in cowboy boots, stetsons, big belt buckles and wranglers over the GQ inspired urbanite male.

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

fire : that maybe true in certain areas, but I live in a big city like Houston and quite similar to the lifestyle of California. Why should I change for somebody. I am who I am. My attire is fine. I don't have a problem attracting females. But the way they interact and present themselves is quite different from the west coast.

 

[Sexplicite]

From what I've heard from men who lived in Texas , They rate women there as top notch when it comes to looks and persona.

They are attractive and also carry the character as well.

They said that texas women arent really up to par if you have this 'model physique' in you -- Its what you can cater to her through your 'character'..

But then again I can't speak for all texas women..

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

simp : women are women ok.....its just the cultural difference from cali to texas.

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

bump

 

[Desdinova]

Perhaps you're just homesick.

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

Originally posted by Desdinova
Perhaps you're just homesick.

what does that mean?

 

[Desdinova]

It means you truly miss the location you lived in before where everything is familiar and comfortable.

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

Originally posted by Desdinova
It means you truly miss the location you lived in before where everything is familiar and comfortable.

well I had to move, could not afford to live in California, way too expensive. surviving and making money while keeping the cost of living down is my first priority....then women....i still get calls from back where i came from, but its obselete...

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by SIXPAKGQ
fire : that maybe true in certain areas, but I live in a big city like Houston and quite similar to the lifestyle of California. Why should I change for somebody. I am who I am. My attire is fine. I don't have a problem attracting females. But the way they interact and present themselves is quite different from the west coast.

Well, I did exaggerate a bit, lol. Southern women are much different from women in other areas. They're more traditional, put more value in grace, charm and good manners and are much more easily insulted by what they consider to be "boorish" behavior. I lived in the south for a number of years. The difference is significant. There's also a significant difference between white and black women. If I remember correctly, I think you're black, aren't you? I found that black women in the south have a much higher defense and are much more suspicious and untrusting than their northern counterparts. That could be unique to the areas I lived in, though. Black women from the south take far, far less sh*t, too and are usually a bit more religious.

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Well, I did exaggerate a bit, lol. Southern women are much different from women in other areas. They're more traditional, put more value in grace, charm and good manners and are much more easily insulted by what they consider to be "boorish" behavior. I lived in the south for a number of years. The difference is significant. There's also a significant difference between white and black women. If I remember correctly, I think you're black, aren't you? I found that black women in the south have a much higher defense and are much more suspicious and untrusting than their northern counterparts. That could be unique to the areas I lived in, though. Black women from the south take far, far less sh*t, too and are usually a bit more religious.

btw I am NOT Black.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by SIXPAKGQ
btw I am NOT Black.

I must have you confused with someone else. For some reason I thought you posted your picture in that old photo thread I started years ago. I could have sworn you were black, but I obviously have you confused with someone else. I only felt it was relevent to bring it up because there is a distinct difference between white and black women in the south in how they deal with and relate to men.

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
I must have you confused with someone else. For some reason I thought you posted your picture in that old photo thread I started years ago. I could have sworn you were black, but I obviously have you confused with someone else. I only felt it was relevent to bring it up because there is a distinct difference between white and black women in the south in how they deal with and relate to men.

might want to bring up that thread again....well I am from Pakistan. so I am a bigtime minority, but basically grew up in USA most of my life.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by SIXPAKGQ
might want to bring up that thread again....well I am from Pakistan. so I am a bigtime minority, but basically grew up in USA most of my life.

I can't bring it up...it's long gone. You should probably try to widen your circle of friends. One good way to do that is to check out www.meetup.com and look for some kind of group that interests you that meets once a month in your area. Larger areas usually have tons of interests groups to choose from.

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
I can't bring it up...it's long gone. You should probably try to widen your circle of friends. One good way to do that is to check out www.meetup.com and look for some kind of group that interests you that meets once a month in your area. Larger areas usually have tons of interests groups to choose from.

I live in a middle-upper class caucasian neihborhood. I feel like I am left out by feeling odd.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by SIXPAKGQ
I live in a middle-upper class caucasian neihborhood. I feel like I am left out by feeling odd.

So basically you ARE the diversity in the neighborhood? That can make things a little rough, but it's easier when you try not to think about it. You should try the meetup thing to get to know a wider variety of people.

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
So basically you ARE the diversity in the neighborhood? That can make things a little rough, but it's easier when you try not to think about it. You should try the meetup thing to get to know a wider variety of people.

I've associated and have/had friends from all over the world. I prefer to live in this neihborhood because its clean and more secure then the crime areas.....

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

bump

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by SIXPAKGQ
I've associated and have/had friends from all over the world. I prefer to live in this neihborhood because its clean and more secure then the crime areas.....

I didn't say move...

Seriously, go to www.meetup.com and browse the list of groups and see if anything interests you. Your area will have tons of different groups that meet in person once a month. You can meet people with common interests who plan group activities and sort of "network". It's really a good tool to use to get to know more people. It sounds like that's all you need to really do...widen your circle of friends.