I have a serious chip on my shoulder, and I think women can sense this.

[MascaraSnake]

I was an unpopular loner in high school who had to settle from the attention I got from fatties and ugly girls. After a while, I stopped crying about nobody liking me and I began thinking I was entitled to the hot girls that were snubbing me.

Ever since I began college, I've become addicted to pumping iron, working out, and I've got a renewed interest in my hobbies. GPA's great, I look great, women are happier to talk to me, and my confidence is soaring. (I'm also getting laid, albeit not as often as I'd like, which is every time I snap my fingers.) But I still have this angry mentality.

Case in point -- I've got a couple of plates right now, and it's not like I'm going through a dry spell. last night I attended a cheap jam session I go to every so often, and I came home empty handed. this shouldn't have really frosted me, but it still did. I went there with the intention of bedding one of the hot girls, nothing happened, and I was out ten bucks.

I know it's impossible to make every woman in the world want you, but I've got a very controlling and dictatorial personality. I cannot stand getting rejected. I cannot stand disrespect. I cannot stand spending time that doesn't pay off right away. I cannot stand being jerked around. It's more of a "how dare you" kind of thing. And I think a good many women notice this simmering anger and stay far, far away.

Will working on myself help me grow out of this, or is this a sign of a deeper problem? Attracting women is an aspect of my life I've always wanted to get good enough at to stop thinking about, and it looks like I'm feeling more entitled as I continue through my 20s.

 

[SoSuave666]

I was an unpopular loner in high school who had to settle from the attention I got from fatties and ugly girls. After a while, I stopped crying about nobody liking me and I began thinking I was entitled to the hot girls that were snubbing me.

Ever since I began college, I've become addicted to pumping iron, working out, and I've got a renewed interest in my hobbies. GPA's great, I look great, women are happier to talk to me, and my confidence is soaring. (I'm also getting laid, albeit not as often as I'd like, which is every time I snap my fingers.) But I still have this angry mentality.

Case in point -- I've got a couple of plates right now, and it's not like I'm going through a dry spell. last night I attended a cheap jam session I go to every so often, and I came home empty handed. this shouldn't have really frosted me, but it still did. I went there with the intention of bedding one of the hot girls, nothing happened, and I was out ten bucks.

I know it's impossible to make every woman in the world want you, but I've got a very controlling and dictatorial personality. I cannot stand getting rejected. I cannot stand disrespect. I cannot stand spending time that doesn't pay off right away. I cannot stand being jerked around. It's more of a "how dare you" kind of thing. And I think a good many women notice this simmering anger and stay far, far away.

Will working on myself help me grow out of this, or is this a sign of a deeper problem? Attracting women is an aspect of my life I've always wanted to get good enough at to stop thinking about, and it looks like I'm feeling more entitled as I continue through my 20s.

It's a maturity thing. I did a field report and I went out with this same kind of attitude. It never works. Chicks don't want some dude angry at the world. They want a funny, charming, rich, powerful, great looking, smart free-goer. Sound like a lot just for a chick? Well welcome to the 21st century.

In all honesty, you just gotta be care-free at first. Show your value in your indifference. If you get as much play as you say, then it should be easy for you. No man will ever hold the sexual market value that a woman does. A hot chick can literally get laid any night she wants to. A dude spinning 10 plates (save a famous actor or something) can still strike out. It's just the way of the world.

Like I said, maturity will help you in the rejection department. All men deal with it in countless different ways. If you compare your sexual prowess to that of a woman's, you will always lose. I've got a lot of maturing to do myself...I'll be the first to admit it. But I never, ever, place my value on someone else or what they think of me. A rejection is nothing more than a lost opportunity for them, not me.

 

[Down Low]

I was like that when I was in my 20s. It helped me enormously when I started running every morning. It takes the edge off the rest of your day. Very, very gradually work yourself up to 5k or 10k a day, depending on your build (less distance if you're heavier).

 

[Zerro]

I was an unpopular loner in high school who had to settle from the attention I got from fatties and ugly girls. After a while, I stopped crying about nobody liking me and I began thinking I was entitled to the hot girls that were snubbing me.

This is the problem right here and I speak from experience. Chicks will sense this sort of attitude and it drives them off. The sooner you drop it the better.

The world doesn't owe you a hot chick, you have to earn one by making yourself into a man whom they'll want to be with.

 

[Atom Smasher]

The way I found to control my own gigantic EGO when I was younger was to make conscious decisions every day to empathize with people.

I don't mean chick-style empathy, but just taking that extra conscious step to go beyond looking at the mechanics of a situation to trying to understand others' perspectives. This doesn't mean changing your own perspective, but rather understanding where another person might be coming from.

And this applies to every interaction, from a cop, to the produce guy at the supermarket, to the checkout girl at the local store.

There is a trickle-down effect on your life globally when you do that.

You said you are dictatorial and controlling. Therefore your underlying, deeper problem is fear. You may not be ready to recognize this, but you are afraid. Therefore you counteract that with being controlling and reactive.

I would strive to be unaffected as you walk through the world. Realize that when people seem to be disrespecting you, either they have severe emotional issues (usually insecurity), there is a miscommunication on one or both parts, or they are actually disrespecting you. Put the onus on them. It's their problem, not yours. I'll bet your internal radar is set to a hair-trigger on disrespect, and therefore it will chirp on any blip it detects.

One thing in life I have learned is to put blame on others when they act in bizarre or disrespectful ways. Most people are ignorant, impolite, and self-centered. When a person in my life needs to be taught a lesson, I will usually publically embarrass them by asking very calm, rational questions with just a hint on incedulity in my voice. Essentially that amounts to handing them rope with which to hang themselves. Very powerful stuff, and it makes you look like you're in control and that you are master of your environment. Still, I pick my battles carefully. Most of the time I see the insecurity in others when they seemingly disrespect me, and it's not worth giving a second thought to.

When you react, you are owned.