"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I have a rant,I need some help

ItsOnNow

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Look, I know I haven't posted the most positive things,but here I go....

I constanly feel empty and depressed,like all the time,and it's a struggle to take my mind off of things. I always feel completely lonely and isolated. This has affected my inner state seriously. Outer,I don't know. I find myself always doing the same thing over and over,and I can't change.

I have never really had a girlfreind before either,and what little I have in the dating area. This bothers me of course. I can't think straight,and have always felt socially outside. I can't type straight now. Ill edit it later...
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Joe The Homophobe

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You're a loner and you are letting that make you feel bad. Being a loner is only bad IF YOU LET IT!

it is bad to be a loner if you have no friends and stay at your house playing on the net, looking at porn or playing video games on most of your free time, and that is your main activity and hobbie for fun.

It ain't bad to be a loner if you have no friends but you...go to the gym every couple days, play pool, go bowling, play basketball, soccer etc. It doesn't matter if you do activities with friends or not or whether you have friends, as long as you keep yourself active and have things going on in your life. Just doing those activities will have you be around people/increase your social proof/make you more attractive to people as a person (and you will meet people and friends). Many guys though like to do their own thing and do things by themselves and nothing wrong with that. Those guys don't care about making friends. I knew a guy like that, no friends, but always kept himself active and his only friend was his girlfriend which he went to just about everywhere. Many loners believe in "you only need a good woman," they don't care for friends and are fine by themselves and even better having a gf.
 

ChrizZ

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ItsOnNow said:
Look, I know I haven't posted the most positive things,but here I go....

I constanly feel empty and depressed,like all the time,and it's a struggle to take my mind off of things. I always feel completely lonely and isolated. This has affected my inner state seriously. Outer,I don't know. I find myself always doing the same thing over and over,and I can't change.

I have never really had a girlfreind before either,and what little I have in the dating area. This bothers me of course. I can't think straight,and have always felt socially outside. I can't type straight now. Ill edit it later...
My honest advice.

Leave the house!

Socialize!

If you don't do that you get depressed.

Trust me, I've been there...
 

ItsOnNow

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I have always been a loner in the bad way,i.e little to no freinds,and when I do socialize,it sometimes comes off as try too hard or weird. Yeah,on days off from work,I spend alot of time at home,playing on line,looking at a lot of porn,like seriously,I am afraid I might be addicted. I have been this way for a long time now,and I see no way out.

I mean,I can go out,go to the store or whatever,just drive around,but that doesn't solve much of anything. I have always had social problems,like i dont know what to say,or i come off as weird,or i worry about fitting in and stuff. In some ways,I feel like a kid in an adult body. Im so used to this,I just can't turn it around.

Its always felt like I have little to nothing to going for me. Maybe it is just the way I see the world. I started feeling depressed along time ago,and I wonder if it has left me with some sort of stunted growth,like maturity.
 

ChrizZ

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ItsOnNow said:
I have always been a loner in the bad way,i.e little to no freinds,and when I do socialize,it sometimes comes off as try too hard or weird. Yeah,on days off from work,I spend alot of time at home,playing on line,looking at a lot of porn,like seriously,I am afraid I might be addicted. I have been this way for a long time now,and I see no way out.

I mean,I can go out,go to the store or whatever,just drive around,but that doesn't solve much of anything. I have always had social problems,like i dont know what to say,or i come off as weird,or i worry about fitting in and stuff. In some ways,I feel like a kid in an adult body. Im so used to this,I just can't turn it around.

Its always felt like I have little to nothing to going for me. Maybe it is just the way I see the world. I started feeling depressed along time ago,and I wonder if it has left me with some sort of stunted growth,like maturity.
There is only one way. You have to get out there. That's the only way...
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

ItsOnNow

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I know. I know the answer is withing me,yet I can't push myself to do it. Maybe it is fear/anxiety/paranoia. I used to,and still to an extent,think I was this total loser cause I had no freinds and experience.Im 22,and I feel like I am so far behind everyone else. I really like have a hard time doing it. Its like the want is there,but the push isn't.
 

Joe The Homophobe

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ItsOnNow said:
,I can go out,go to the store or whatever,just drive around,but that doesn't solve much of anything. I have always had social problems,like i dont know what to say,or i come off as weird,or i worry about fitting in and stuff. In some ways,I feel like a kid in an adult body. Im so used to this,I just can't turn it around.
driving around is still better than just looking at porn all day but what you need to do is drive around...TO SOMEWHERE!

what are your hobbies? if you don't have any start playing pool or bowling. Go to the gym.
 

randalll

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i used to be in a similar sort of position when i was at school, got picked on quite a bit and usually hung around on my own, it's depressing, i can relate to that.

but there's definately plenty of time to change, over the past year my confidence has increased quite a lot. and i think it's just because i changed my outlook.

just dont try and prove anything to people, if your not so good with conversation like me, just be quiet and confident, use your body language right, make eye contact with people, smile.

if people think you're positive then you'll be more likely to have conversations with them and you'll become better at socializing, this'll build your confidence, and the cycle will continue.

best of luck

p.s. sign up to david deangelo's newsletter, it has really helped me
 

DonGorgon

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Studying the fact that all lies contain fragments
ItsOnNow said:
Look, I know I haven't posted the most positive things,but here I go....

I constanly feel empty and depressed,like all the time,and it's a struggle to take my mind off of things. I always feel completely lonely and isolated. This has affected my inner state seriously. Outer,I don't know. I find myself always doing the same thing over and over,and I can't change.

I have never really had a girlfreind before either,and what little I have in the dating area. This bothers me of course. I can't think straight,and have always felt socially outside. I can't type straight now. Ill edit it later...
Depression... many people in capitalist societies are extremely depressed cause the constant struggle for economic maximum efficiency renders social aspects of live completely meaningless unless they contribute to the financial bottom line.... So secretly these is more exchange of money for sex / companionship happening now than ever before... Women are too busy trading themselves for money and men are to busy making money to pay for women...... Demand and supply disparities give women an automatically higher value than men.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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DJVladdy

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Chris, how is the player supreme's site? Do you like it better than here? I think he actually mentioned you in one if his podcasts. I like his stuff and listen whenever he posts something on his old site.
 

DJVladdy

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And also, if you can, let him know I sent him a PM here on Sosuave.com?, if he can respond back to me, thanks.
 
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