I Have A Problem: Need Quick Responses

[collegeEJ]

Alright, I'll try to make this as short and sweet as possible.

I just started a new university. I talked to this girl from my apt. at the bus stop, ended up talking to her alot, hanging out alot, and messing around several times.

She tells me she has a boyfriend that she is in a long-distance relationship with and its not working out for her, but we mess around, once, anyway.

Then, she breaks up with her boyfrinend, we continue to hang out and hook up. Shes says she doesn't have those feelings for him anymore.

Then, a few days later she told me that she let him know that she would "try" and work things out with him, because they have been together 1.5 years even though she didn't really feel good about it.

We both are from the same area of the state, but go to school like 6 hours away. Anyway, I told her I would go home with her this weekend(since we live close) and see my family while she sees her's.

So, I told my mother I was coming back and rescheduled a quiz in preparation. Now, she calls and tells me she would rather go by herself, because her boyfriend was paying for the trip for her to come see him, and he will freak out and not pay if I come.

I was like, "no, that's not cool, I've already prepared, etc."

So, she just called him anyway to tell him I am coming and she's on the phone with him right now.

Do I just forget this didn't happen and go with her, or be like "no, you go ahead without me?"

By the way, I'm like 4 years older than her and told her I would be interested in a relationship with her(just extra info).

alright guys, what do you think?

 

[penkitten]

i think her choice on to go alone or to take you will clearly let you know how she feels with you and then you will know what you have to do.

 

[collegeEJ]

I kinda think so too, but her calling me and being like, "well, I feel bad since he's paying, and I don't want you to go because you feel obligated" rant was kinda sorry.

Honestly, I'm kinda thinking about not answering her call back and just being like "peace, have fun."

But I do kinda like the girl. haha. I just don't feel like being a guy that's being dragged along if you know what I mean.

 

[KontrollerX]

Hmmm what is your gut instinct ultimately telling you?

I mean do you sense she is more into this guy than you or is she trying to balance between the both of you and comes off as totally undecided??

 

[penkitten]

But I do kinda like the girl. haha. I just don't feel like being a guy that's being dragged along if you know what I mean.

oh course you like her or you wouldn't care if you were being asked to go or not. oh course you want to go, seeing as if it is bothering you on what to do.

perhaps she needs to go and close the door between her and her bf for good. break up in private.

would i go on a trip to see someone i no longer wanted to be with, on his dime, and leave the person i wanted to be with at home after they made plans to go too? nah. i would rather not go on anyone else's dime in the first place, but especially not for all that other stuff.

 

[collegeEJ]

Kontroller,

She comes off as undecided and as kinda scared to leave him because I'm sure she still has feelings for him.

But she has made it apparent to me that she doesn't feel for him the way he feels for her and "is just hoping this is just a phase she is going through" (her words) regarding their relationship.

She was even kinda making out to me like when she sees him this weekend she's worried she'll feel a little underwhelmed about him.

 

[collegeEJ]

need advice, she could call back any minute.

 

[Bible_Belt]

If she's with him, then you should be with someone else. Can you hang out with any women you know back home? Don't think too much of this girl, from what I gather, she's cheated on her bf with you and has almost certainly been lying to him. Should you turn into the borefriend that he has become, she will treat you the same way.