I have a problem comforting my girlfriend

[budisudaryo]

Hi guys,

Whenever my gf is having a bad day/mood, I just don't know what to say. Let's put aside hugging her or something physical because over the phone that's not possible. I'm just able to ask her questions about her problems but that's it. I can't think of comforting words to say except for the usual "It'll be okay" bull**** and even that sounds kinda forced coming from my mouth. So, anyone can help me here? Thanks.

 

[Drdeee]

Read pook

 

[handle]

I usually just ignore her for the day because clearly there's no sex happening.

 

[d!ckmojo]

Jah, like handle and Drdee said, you need to totally avoid her completely whenever she is in a bad mood. This is because human psychology makes associations, and if you keep hanging out with her when she is in a bad mood, whether you were the cause of that bad mood or not becomes immaterial, she will associate you with negative feelings and her attraction for you will suffer.\

You must be scarce, and you must only be a precence in her life and in her mind at those times when she is happy, excited or contented. At all other times, do not seek to intrude your ego presence into her sphere of attention, lest you be associated with undesirable emotions and attributes.

 

[handle]

For the record I don't really agree with being scarce (kind of a ***** move toward someone you care for), and my previous post was half-joking. Only half though. What does seem clear to me is that there isn't anything you can say or do to help. Try to think of a time when you've been upset. Does someone rubbing your back and saying "it's all going to turn out fine" ever help? Not really. You just need to mull it over a little. So that's how I see it when some girl is upset -- unless it's something very specific and immediately solvable, you aren't going to be much help. And it's not going to be fun for you or for her. So no need to try to help.

... Also, sad-sex doesn't happen frequently.

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

Whenever shes having a bad day ask her if shes on her period. Girls like it when you ask them that

 

[PokerStar]

im going to start using these 3 words when she is down.

LETS GO SHOPPING.

you dont have to buy anything but getting her to move around, create action. motion creates emotion.

 

[Ciel]

stop talking to her on the phone

 

[Bible_Belt]

Most men make the mistake of trying to fix a woman's negative emotions, because men are logical problem-solvers. Unfortunately, those emotions usually can't be fixed, and the woman doesn't even want you to try. She wants you to listen to her problems without the conversation producing anything logical at all - emotional venting is what she wants. Apparently, if you have a vagina, all of this makes a lot of sense.

Just learn to grunt sympathetically at the right times when she's b!tching, while you pretend to listen and think about sports. That's how to make a relationship last.

 

[PDubb75]

Bible_Belt nailed it. It's not about what you say. It's about what you let her say. When she comes to you like that, it's not because she thinks you have some magic words that will fix everything. It's because she needs someone to listen to her.

This perfectly describes the phrase "emotional tampon" that is used around here sometimes. Not something you should put up with when it's some random girl you meet, but it's part of being in a relationship.

It's a lot easier to do in person. You can throw in random faces that make it seem like you care more than you do. But whether it's in person or on the phone, do yourself a favor and stay away from anything sexual at the time. Not gonna end well.

 

[sexysuave]

But whether it's in person or on the phone, do yourself a favor and stay away from anything sexual at the time. Not gonna end well.

:crackup: :crackup: LOL so true... I remember trying to nail a girlfriend while she was having a "down day" and was doing her emotional venting BS. Boy oh boy, that ended real bad, the rest of the day ended up being about me being so incosiderate to consider screwing while she was having a day like that. And how that was the only thing on my mind and all I cared about was sex and that I probably didn't even listen to her.. hell, that actually solved the previous issues lol, since now this was THE biggest concern for her.. and she kept talking about it .. like all day.. so I guess it does some good in taking her mind off other issues, and making you the primary problem lol.