"I have a BF" revisited

[Desdinova]

Today I was doing some work for a client in a 55+ building. There was a woman working there... a little on the fat side, not completely unattractive, and she was attentive to my client's problems. So I went in there and started doing some work. It became apparent that this woman found me interesting and enjoyed watching me work. I had to go back to my work vehicle for something, and she followed me out the door, using a cigarette craving as an excuse.

I was digging around in my vehicle which is a tad on the messy side, and she comes around to where I am. "This looks like my boyfriend's work vehicle!"

Now, I had no intentions of hitting on this chick, and I wasn't even trying. However, I started thinking "Why would an interested female even THINK to bring up her bf?" This isn't the first time it's happened either.

After I was done this job, I started thinking about the whole thing...

Since men are primarily stimulated by a woman's looks, they automatically assume that a woman has that same instinct (which we know is generally not the case). So this is what crossed my mind...

When we're out working a bar and trying to attract women, we know that social proof will make us appear more valuable, regardless of the fact that we may or may not be dating the woman we're interacting with. Now, do women automatically think that having a boyfriend will ALSO make them appear as if they have value to other men?

Any thoughts?

 

[Atom Smasher]

I hadn't really thought of that. They may well be that delusional. I think it's plausible.

 

[AttackFormation]

Same thing happened at work today.

This girl who was either a 30 year old or a lively 40 year old comes and talks more with me after I let her know of a temporary routine at the station. Bla bla and then all of a sudden "my man" followed by more bla bla. I won't initiate hitting on a girl with a man already even if I felt like f*cking her, unless she gives me a clear signal that she wants to f*ck and I can conclude the relationship is over anyway, so I just let her finish and leave and she does this big smile from her car.

Maybe they're simply unable to take the initiative and their idea of doing so is opening themselves up in some weird way like this?

 

[Triumph2]

its simple.

women are always looking to trade up whether they realize it or not and with todays womens "empowerment" movement, their hypergamy is free to run amok without any real repercussion to her credibility or reputation.

also, this woman was older and in a LTR so she was very likely looking for some kind of reassurance to her attractiveness. im sure any compliments from her long term bf have little to no value.

in essence hypergamy + ego boost + sh*t test all in one.

agree with this, In my experience even below average women have a guy that will come over to **** them, sometimes they just call him a friend.

 

[logicallefty]

"This looks like my boyfriend's work vehicle!"

Response "Well good sounds like we would get along so next time he needs a wingman to take him out for a night on the town looking for chicks, have him give me a call"

 

[Desdinova]

women are always looking to trade up whether they realize it or not and with todays womens "empowerment" movement, their hypergamy is free to run amok without any real repercussion to her credibility or reputation.

I agree 100% with this, but they seem to be oblivious to the fact that they're disqualifying themselves when they bring up the BF. What I'm wondering is if they're intentionally doing this, not to disqualify themselves, but to display value to someone they could dump their bf over.

In other words, the "I have a BF" line has a double purpose. It's used to get rid of unwanted AFCs and to raise interest in a potential mate. It's flawed logic, but remember that this is a woman, and she's doing things that make sense to a woman.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Des,
No I think she was just a nice Lady being friendly LOL.

 

[G_Govan]

Now, do women automatically think that having a boyfriend will ALSO make them appear as if they have value to other men?

This is absolutely the case, but it can be used for multiple reasons as well.

1.) Sometimes a girl will tell you about the b/f while flirting with you because if you push forward and hook up, it isn't her fault because she made you aware and you "seduced" her (hamster logic).

2.) If they mention it and it scares you away they've saved themselves the hassle of dealing with you because they know you aren't going to take the next step.

3.) If you don't initiate things fast enough for their liking they may use it to light a fire under your a** to make you jealous and to get you to make a move.

4.) Sometimes they mention it after they feel you've rejected them, overtly or covertly.

5.) Other times they use it as an active or preemptive rejection.

It is always a DHV anyway you slice it.