"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

I HATE this ...

faiNt`

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2008
Messages
243
Reaction score
1
You know when you talk to someone (usually a girl from my experience) that you know, but don't really KNOW? When she's an acquaintance rather than a friend, I guess. For me, the convo always starts like this:

"Hey X"
"Hey faint"

"How are you?"
"(depending answer)"

That's what I HATE. I know that these people don't actually CARE what I'm going to say, it's what most people call "small talk." I f*cking hate small talk. It's like .. talking just for the sake of talking.

So how can I fix this? I don't know what to do when people try to pull this crap, and yes, that's what it is to me. It's crap. It's so fake.

Especially passing in the hall ways etc, these fake sh*ts pop up all over. Oh, and I can TELL when someone actually means it, because it's not always fake.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

I'm in the Mood

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2008
Messages
702
Reaction score
17
Location
Cloud 9
the true way to get over it is to turn the subject of the conversation into something interesting.

man you gotta get past the small talk to really get into a true discussion.

open-ended questions are great! really turn what your saying into something she can relate to, and this is where you add elements of DJing.

all in all... if you can't get her to talk about something interesting, leave the conversation and try again with someone else. btw you can't get into a real convo unless you start with small talk.

"what's up?" is a classic opener and from there they'll say "nothing much" (or maybe they will get right down into the convo), then it's your turn to bring up a topic you can experiment with.
 

Five To One

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 22, 2008
Messages
357
Reaction score
3
Yea small talk is pointless but I enjoy it and you shoud learn to enjoy it too.

I enjoy talking to people who I have never met before, usually stuff about them. I enjoy making small talk and they enjoy talking about themselves, even if it is with a stranger.
 

SinJester

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 1, 2007
Messages
1,226
Reaction score
44
Location
Australia
1. Learn to enjoy it. It is an important part of life.
2. Break through the small talk. Be DIRECT. Say what you are really thinking. People will find it refreshing.
 
Top