I HATE Oneitis!

[Serg897]

to bigweezy and others - the fact that we had sex several times doesn't diminish this pain. It isnt special if you know that she can easily move on to the next boytoy and throw you out like yesterdays garbage, despite all the things she said in bed about how incredible she felt, blah blah.

I guess what brings me the most pain is that I didnt act like a real DJ. That despite all my self awareness and knowledge about this website I still failed to control myself, curb my own attachment, and now in her mind I've been demoted. Its entirely selfish, I know - obsessing with the validation of another person is not what we should be doing. This is why oneitis is so terrible. I will learn these lessons and apply them when the next quality woman comes along.

Life goes on. I went swing dancing last night and walked away with three numbers. The women at this place are actually comfortable approaching men, so its quite nice.

you'll be fully over her within 6months.

Hopefully less!

 

[LuisGarcia10]

This is like reading somebody describing my life!
About 6 months ago I met a girl, out of the blue I fell for her, slept with her a few times then she "wasn't sure about her feelings," suddenly became really busy, unavailable, yet still did enough to keep me hooked! She also had lots of male friends, tried to remain friends with all her exs, of which there were quite a few! Etc etc.

I'm not one for oneitis much, but this girl HAD me! It went on for ages, until I eventually decided to channel the negative energy into achieving something. If something is going to eat away at your emotions in the way that oneitis can do, then it makes sense to use that energy and do something positive with it right? Rather than do what most people do( including myself many times) an go get drunk, sleep with random girls etc etc. So I list about 2 stone, as I wromite this I almost have a 6 pack, this is the first time in my life I've ever been close! Meanwhile I've deleted her Facebook, blocked her so I resist the temptation to re-add her, told her I want no more contact, whoch is harsh as she hasn't done much wrong but at the end of the day it's self preservation, I'm not allowing myself to become that needy idiot again. And guess what? Suddenly when you get into shape, notice girls checking you out, and delete the girls that rejected you from your life, the feelings die. It is hard i know, but all you're experiencing are emotions, they will pass, ignore that vpice in your head describing her as the perfect girl, it didn't work out, it doesn't matter now. Focus on self improvement, for every failure, every rejection, every heart break, there is a lesson to be learnt, as long as you're moving forward then just laugh at the failures along the way! So what if some girl thinks she's played you? In the end it will be her loss, as long as you make sure you improve yourself! She may have men falling at her feet now, but that won't last for ever! Transform yourself into a better person and maybe the next time she sees you she'l think "I f*cked up there," but by that point shell be an irrelevance!

Remember- women are replaceable, always replaceable! If a girl wants to be a part of my world then brilliant, I'd love to have someone to share some time with, but if she decides shed rather be elsewhere, then the door is alwas open. At the end of the day I will be going in the same direction, regardless of anybody else. Ironically it is usually this attitude which prevents girls from wanting to jump ship anyway.

 

[Serg897]

I hate myself right now.

After three weeks of no contact, I caved and sent an email - it was very non-chalant, just asking her how she is doing and if she would be available to go to an event happening this weekend. As soon as I did it part of me instantly regretted it. Its like there are two sides of me that are at war with each other, one that desperately wanted to try again and contact her and craves attention from her, and one that very much would like to move on and stop this mental self-destruction.

Her short reply was very telling. It was polite, but indifferent. Good natured and courteous, but cold and clear that she has absolutely no interest in seeing me again.

Part of me is furious. Part of me wants to lash out at her, make her explain what happened and why after all the sex and all the good times now she is off doing other things and ****ing other dudes. But that part of me has been tamed after years of being on this website.

Really, I'm just furious at myself. How could I have let this happen to me. How could I have lost control so badly and made the same mistakes I've made in the past with this woman. I failed to protect my heart once again, and now Im suffering the consequences, especially now after reopening this wound. This rut may be having consequences on my ability to attract other women as the past several weeks I havent been able to get many dates.

Life sucks sometimes. Im a dark mental place right now, and Im going to need a lot of time to get over this hump. Just wanted to share this with someone...anyone. Now I have to get serious about not contacting her.

 

[st_99]

Really, I'm just furious at myself.

You shouldn't be furious at yourself for sending an email. You shouldn't
be mad at yourself if you want to bang her again or whatever.. thats not
really the problem.

The problem is in how you frame it.

It obviously looks as if you're waaaay to hung up on her, hung up on
the outcome and are way to 1 women focused. Getting in contact with
her is totally fine as long as you are doing it with the right mind frame.

That is... the not caring, sure id like to hit that, whatever ill send and
email see what happens with this b*tch... oh how funny, what an idiotic
reply. Oh well. haha.

Thats where you need to be. You are so outcome dependent her reaction is making you
crazy. Can't do that.