I hate having to ask...

[Redblue]

I really don't like having to ask but I'm stuck and have no idea what to do-

A girl I didn't know very well rang me up randomly a few weeks ago and asked me out. It was all good, we went on a few sort of dates (mainly we just met up at the local sports events we both happened to be going to but we did go out for drinks etc other times). I started to really like her and I knew she really liked me, but I was taking it steady as I didn't want to rush anything. To cut a long story short, a week or so ago at a social gathering I was with her most of the night, culminating in us kissing passionately before we went our separate ways. I saw her the next morning and it was all good for a time until her friend showed up. They excused themselves and the next thing I know I get a text message saying they have to go because of some really ****ty made up excuse. A few days later, after having not heard a thing from her, I sent her a message just asking how she was doing etc (prior to this she used to send me heaps of messages every day) It took her 2 days to reply and it was basically along the lines of 'I'm fine'.

I think I've blown it, the only problem is I don't know what I've done to stuff it up. What can I possibly do to patch this up? I am really embaressed asking for help but she was a really nice girl and I want to mend things if at all possible.

Thanks,
Red

 

[slaog]

So everything was fine but when her friend showed up she changed??


It looks as though she's lost interest unfortunatly. The best thing you can do now is nothing at all. Don't chase her or she'll run even more.


What sort of girl is she?

 

[Julian]

Shoulda called her out on her text...a simple "Are you serious? Lol..whatev ttyl". Followed by a prompt deletion of her out of your phone and move on without even giving her a 2nd thought. Easy enough right? Another thing, your come back text after she disrespected you was you asking her how shes doing blabla? I mean come on dude...she just played you and you are coming back for more...true signs of sucker.

See the problem is you are getting too involved and attached before you even stick your **** in the b1tch. Until that happens and you've possessed her mind body an soul and she is a good girl you shouldnt be having any feelings besides lust and fun.

 

[horaholic]

Sounds to me like her friend told her of another guy who was into her, and since you were being to wussy to really pull the trigger, (taking it slow, not rushing things. Seems to be a common precurser to chicks losing total interest, I've been seeing around here.) she went for a guy was wasnt afraid to ram it on home as soon as logistically possible.

The only thing you can do, is use this lesson to help you be a REAL man in the future. I'm not ripping on you, as I've done it a hundred times myself. Chicks often have a very short interest window, as would you, if you had as many options as they do. Consider it a job offer. Either fill the position when offered, or get the fvck out of the way, for the guy who will.

 

[ArkhamInmate]

So what if you wanna take things slow and get to know her better?
Like in your job analogy, you wanna make sure this is the best job for you and there are no problems with it.

 

[Redblue]

too true, thanks everyone, not what I wanted to hear but probably what I needed to hear. Plenty of fish in the sea as they say

 

[Energizer]

She sounds like just another immature girl, delete her number and move on. Wasting time with mentally challenged women like her is both fruitless and futile.

 

[Redblue]

^^ Lol yeah, I guess I thought she was different but then again I'm yet to meet a woman who is. I never liked her friend, maybe I'll blame her. Even so, a simple text saying "its not working your a loser" would have been better than ignoring me but hey, thats life, she's deleted off my phone and its happy families all round :crazy:

 

[horaholic]

So what if you wanna take things slow and get to know her better?
Like in your job analogy, you wanna make sure this is the best job for you and there are no problems with it.

So, if you had a hole in your roof, would you wait two weeks for the roofer to figure out if its the right job for him or not, or would you hire another roofer who is ready to 'fill that hole' immediately?

Taking it slow should only mean not jumping into a relationship too quick, or not spending a whole lot of time together, but when they do, a man is expected to escalate. Wanna take it slow? See her once a week, but take it to the next level, every time you see her. The best thing a man can do, is strike while the irons hot, and if it doesnt work out, it doesnt work out, but at least got his foot in the door. worry about taking it slow AFTER you fvck her.

This girl may or may not be immature, but the OP wasnt escalating fast enough, and she moved on. Us guys normally have a three dates to put out or NEXT rule. Well, girls have a similar rule also. In my experience, when a girl is interested, a man (usually, this can vary though) has a week, MAX, to escalate. Then, the next time they see each other, he better escalate more, or she will lose interest, just like we would, if she didnt reciprocate her interest.

I almost think lack of escalation is the male equivilant of flaking to a girl. If she has options, you probably wont get more than two strikes, and your out.

 

[ArkhamInmate]

point taken...
Thanks alot horaholic