"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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I guess I still suck?

Colin O'Brien

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Take her out.. everything was great, I was funny, kino happening.. she gave me a ride home, we're in her car.. and I simply *couldn't* kiss her goodnight. I don't know why, I had every intention to, but something was holding me back. When we were walking back to her car I put my arm around her and she pushed it away in a tongue and cheek manner, but everything was so good up to that point that I think this threw me off. Plus the passenger seat was really far away from the driver's seat, that might have thrown me off.. I need home car advantage for this sh1t.

Fvck.. I thought I was making progress with this... I've been really confident and relaxed around all girls I've met since starting on the DJ path, I can say the right things, but it looks like when it comes down to it I can't even kiss the girl I view as relationship material. I feel like a mega AFC right about now, I think I'll see if she wants to hang out tomorrow (sunday) and right when I see her I'll plant one on her (so I say that now).

I'm actually going to prom with her but if she doesn't respond well to a kiss then its next next next. Whatever.. can someone give me some advice/motivation for me to read tomorrow when I wake up? thanks :up:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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SinJester

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What was going through your head when you wanted to kiss her? Were you thinking of the bad things that could happen or that she would reject it?

You just have to reframe it to 'she's wishing that I would hurry up and kiss her', which is probably true anyway.
 

Colin O'Brien

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What was going through my head was essentially as follows: "jesus they make the two front seats so far away from each other that I'd have to unbuckle my damn seatbelt to kiss her". I get what youre saying about rephrasing, Sin.. I was kinda thinking that but is was mostly the former though.

anyone recommend for me to see if she's down for tomorrow or should I just wait till next weekend?
 

SinJester

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Why didn't you unbuckle it? I don't see the problem with that. Maybe the problem for you is not negative thought but your mind coming up with excuses. Almost the same problem. Just learn to recognise it and reframe it with something positive if you can, but act anyway. Know that whatever your mind says isn't real.

I would leave the descision about seeing her up to you. What do YOU want to do? What do YOU think would be best?

Don't worry about the 'stuff up'. It isn't a big deal it's just a learning experiance. I know you will get it next time ;)
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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DonJuan11

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Colin O'Brien said:
Take her out.. everything was great, I was funny, kino happening.. she gave me a ride home, we're in her car.. and I simply *couldn't* kiss her goodnight. I don't know why, I had every intention to, but something was holding me back. When we were walking back to her car I put my arm around her and she pushed it away in a tongue and cheek manner, but everything was so good up to that point that I think this threw me off.

Dude, first of all, don't touch her too much. Playful touching ok, but putting your arm around her is way too much too soon. Let her touch you, let her hold you hand, let her be comfortable with you so she lets you in. I don't think things were that "awesome" as you say if she pushed your arm away.

Plus the passenger seat was really far away from the driver's seat, that might have thrown me off.. I need home car advantage for this sh1t.

Fair enough.


Fvck.. I thought I was making progress with this... I've been really confident and relaxed around all girls I've met since starting on the DJ path, I can say the right things, but it looks like when it comes down to it I can't even kiss the girl I view as relationship material. I feel like a mega AFC right about now, I think I'll see if she wants to hang out tomorrow (sunday) and right when I see her I'll plant one on her (so I say that now).

If she wants to see you again, you are good. But dude KISS HER HARD. Make her think she's in wonderland and make her forget about her exams with your kiss. If you don't kiss her, what's the difference between her going out with you and her brother?

I'm actually going to prom with her but if she doesn't respond well to a kiss then its next next next. Whatever.. can someone give me some advice/motivation for me to read tomorrow when I wake up? thanks :up:
KISS HER
 

ProDJ26

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Remember to control your thoughts, you whatever you think be it positive or negative will become your reality......

Try not to rush in so fast next time. And remember Just have fun!!!!

:up:
 

Privitor

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What the hell is going on here?
Every time I have an issues with girls or some life thing. a topic appears on the front page discussing a very, very similar situation. Dudes, believe me this happened every time for the last couple of months. :) Weeeeird!

Now that I shared it I expect this to stop, lol.

@Colin O'Brien: a similar thing happened today with my classmate. We were close together staring into each other's eyes.
How AFC can you get to shy away when you're 5 inches away to kissing her? That's ME, ok!

Enough thinking about this for today. Let's both see what tomorrow brings, ok?
 

sinful

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I don't know why, I had every intention to, but something was holding me back. When we were walking back to her car I put my arm around her and she pushed it away in a tongue and cheek manner, but everything was so good up to that point that I think this threw me off.

Careful, girls will do this type of thing to control the dynamic. Even if they want you to jump their bones, they will do s*it like this to keep control...control means more to them than getting physical.

What I suggest you do is concentrate on building her attraction up to the point where she WANTS to loose control and have you 'take it'. No pun intended...
 

Colin O'Brien

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Update: I decided to let it ride until next weekend when I'll take her out again... she's till texting me a lot so she isn't bored yet. I will take it.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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