I guess I broke through the "friendzone", now what?

[monster squad]

A year of determination, and inadvertant head games, and I got what I wanted, sort of. Now it might be shot down.

It wasn't exactly great sex, as we were so drunk, and I was nervous. I don't think awkward is strong enough of a word to describe the aftermath, which ended with her leaving since neither one of us could sleep.

We didn't talk to each other for a few days, but we talked today. Just small talk. She really didn't want to talk about it in detail because she was at her friends house. What she did say was that she wants things to continue like they were before, as in "just being friends" (and her having control). Something to the effect of "I don't think it was the right time.... and I don't know if there would be a right time". She said it was "good", but "awkward", and that she's sure I picked up on that. I agreed, to some extent anyway. Then she asked what I thought.

I told her, "Well..... I don't want to be just friends with you. It's your call though. It's in your hands.", followed by a looooong pause. Then she asked me if tomorrow night was good for me, so we could get together and talk about this.

I don't know what's going to happen. She really likes my company, almost like she needs me around. She's always been the one to seek me out, no matter how bad things might have gone down in the past. I can honestly say that I've not ever been so attracted to someone in all my life, but if I can't have things on my terms, I absolutely must cut the line between us. I can't go on living like that. It's bad for the blood.

Did she say what she did because she was rationalizing, and protecting herself, thinking that I might not be interested in her like that anymore? Does she actually want to be "just friends", despite EVERYONE senseing the ongoing sexual tention between the two of us, almost like we have this energy that everyone else can see?

I guess I'll find out tomorrow. The other night might have been extremely awkward, but I don't think it was in a bad way, and it doesn't always have to be like that.

 

[Hitman10000]

It was just "drunk sex" dude. Alcohol is not the truth serum as many have said, Alcohol is more like breaking down control of one's TRUE SELF. If you had to be drunk in order to start your first kiss or first sex is very weak IMHO. You knew exactly what you were doing buddy, trying to get her drunk so much that she would allow you to have sex with her when you couldn't even get it up for her when you weren't drunk. Watch your back though, what just happened was borderline rape, but in legalities and if she didnt like you that much, she'd cry rape against you.

When people get drunk, they get horny, I'd imagine she'd probably want some, even if it was from an ugly dude or an AFC but she'd feel guilty..or as you said it: Awkward, Head Games, Just Friends. This is why when I meet guyfriends such as the like of yourself of my F*ckbuddy or Girlfriend, I assume total alpha position until you submit to me.

 

[monster squad]

She knew what was up. There have been a million times in the past where she threw me a line, and I *****ed out. This time I didn't.

What happened:
I told her I was going out for a drink (on Myspace, hahaha). Her immediate response was : Where? Take me with you!
We met at the bar, and my roommate (she works there) and her boyfriend were there. We got a table together.
My roommate proposed that we get some beer or whatever and head back to the house.
We sat around talking (she wasn't even that drunk at this point, and she nursed her drinks), then the topic of her leaving came up.
My roommate asked her if she'd like to stay in the guestroom. She declined, and said "If I was going to stay here, I would have to stay in his room, so he can protect me from the ghost (everyone thinks this house is haunted or something).
My roommate took me aside and pretty much demanded that I make a move, saying there was "so much sexual tention" between the two of us, that I'd be an idiot to not see it. Even if it meant just cuddling.
We went to bed. Cuddled. And things went on from there. She was the one to take my hand and put it between her legs, and she was the one to take off my pants to start sucking my ****.

The word "No", was never uttered, and I was in no way trying to get her drunk.

It's not like there haven't been times before where she was WAY more f'ed up and didn't let things happen. First time, we were just making out, clothes came off, then she stopped everything saying she was really drunk and that the room was spinning. So I stopped, gave her the covers, and slept on the floor. A few weeks after that, same thing, but it ended with the "let's stay friends" speech.

And I'm not ugly. She is attracted to me. She's constantly telling me how "cute" or whatever she thinks I am, and she knows pretty much every girl in a 100 mile radius thinks the same thing.

The truth is, I'm not very experienced. I only lost my virginity seven months ago. She knows this. As a matter of fact, it was one of her friends that I lost it to. She found out I was a virgin, waited until she went home, got me to take her home, got me drunk, and ****ed me. Then when this girl found out about it, she told one of her friends that she wanted to be the one to take it. We even talked about this in the past, but it just never happened. One of us would always back out.

I think that's the main reason the other night didn't go over very well. I wasn't having a hard time (pardon the pun or whatever) maintaining. I was just REALLY, REALLY nervous, because I wanted her for so long, and didn't know what the hell I was doing.

edit: Oh, and the awkwardness on her part comes mostly from insecurities over her body. She's a little chubby. God forbid!

 

[monster squad]

Oh yeah, and she said we should maybe sleep on it (get yer mind out of the gutter), when she asked me what I thought, so I don't think the future is so set in her mind.

 

[Phyzzle]

She want to go back to being friends. She's not going to change her mind with a few more hours of sober contemplation.

When she says, "I want to go back to being friends," the boldest thing to say is, "no, if you want me to not touch you or make any future moves on you, my answer is no, so I shouldn't hang around you anymore."

This worked for some other poster. She eventually came back . . . but I'm not saying it will work for you.

Your call: how important is the friendship?

 

[DJDamage]

You can't be her friend.

You can't be a friend to some one you just fvcked and continue wanting to fvck in the near future.

You can't also wait by the sidelines like a chump until she makes up a decision.

If you were pulling other tail beside her at this very moment and spend less time with her as a result, it would be alot harder for her to say no to your advances because she will know if you ain't getting the goods from her you are going to get it from someone else.

She is going to drag this out as long as she can. Don't let her and don't let her be the only plate you are spinning or it will be the end of you and her.

 

[monster squad]

The friendship is important to me, but like I said, I can't go on like this. If being friends means hanging out with her, and then watching her hook up with some other guy at the end of the night, and having my heart ripped the **** out of my chest... no, the friendship is not that important.

When my roommate was single, we used to pass out drunk in bed together all the time, and nothing ever happened. And she's more attractive than this girl. Even before I moved in here. Neither one of us ever came on to each other, or even thought about it. That chemistry just isn't there. We had no desire for each other. That's being just friends. This other thing is not.

Bear in mind, this girl was the one to initiate this entire thing over a year ago, always flirting with me, and telling a friend of mine that she wanted to **** me. Things obviously didn't go that far then, as I was 100% clueless, but I think that attraction is still there.

But yeah, if all she wants is to be friends, and really means it, I can't go that route. I have enough friends, and not enough time for this ****.

 

[Hitman10000]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=21610&highlight=ganji

Last ditch effort, and another thing. She isn't the one for your life, she is the one for your current future, but keep meeting other girls though.

 

[monster squad]

No head games. I can't pretend not to want her. If she ultimately wants to be "friends", I will not let her back in, under any circumstances.

Whatever happens, happens. After tomorrow night I'll post what went down, no matter what the results are. All I have to say though, is that you've all given me the determination to prove you wrong.

 

[Trapper]

you are on the right track.. keep going..

 

[typical]

Man it sounds like the girl really ain't worth the effort aye, I mean for fvcks sake how can you go back to being just friends fvck that sh!t.

Bro been there before and even though you've managed to sort of break the zone (I've done it as well) looking back at it moving on is the best thing you can do.

When it comes to ladies and the friend zone breaking the zone and getting what you wanted ain't worth the effort . . . the end doesn't justify the means.

if a chick cant see you for the great guy you are then fvck it bro her loss not yours, don't ever be friends with a girl, they make excellent lovers and the worst of friends, of course once she's your lover then she can become more of a friend till then don't go back to being friends.

Push her to the max either she wants you or she doesn't, if she doesn't don't go back to being friends its pure torture.

One last thing for everyone who's ever been or will be in the zone, your there cause you pvssied the fvck out when you had clear buying signs from her learn these signs, they may be very very subtle, when she wants you she wants you she really doesn't care when or where just take her right then in that moment. she'll go running off to her mates after that saying how her "new boyfriend" just jumped her in the parking lot.

Now for the guy who wrote this post she sounds like she does like you but you ain't that pvssy whipped boy she used to know now your gaming other girls or your showing more confidence she's worried that if she losses you as a friend she's just gonna end up as another chick on the list.

Girls are more insecure then you think ............ in many ways more then you are ............ but don't take that as weakness you'll be foolish if you do.

 

[Kurt the KJ]

She was drunk and regrets having sex with a loser like you.

 

[monster squad]

Well now I'm even more confused, but not exactly in a bad way. We did go out for drinks, but spent most of the night at her house talking. Mostly on things totally not in this topic, but I did eventually push it. She admitted she was avoiding the subject. I think she's just as confused as I am. Didn't really get any clear resolutions on it, but she said that she doesn't want to lose me. She asked me if I wanted a relationship, and I think I was wise in saying that I didn't, but couldn't go on as simply being friends. Then she said she sometimes does things without thinking of the consequences. I told her that maybe it's time to stop, and she looked at me and smiled. She also said that she doesn't understand why someone would be so interested in her. I dunno. Maybe there's a security issue involved. And she did mention that she definately feels a chemistry between us.

Basically, she's not wierded out when I touch her. I wasn't putting the moves on (I actually feel really ill, and was afraid to take things any further because I didn't want to mess up again out of discomfort, I don't know if it's from eating a huge ass meal at Chili's earlier with a buddy of mine, or from the 7 day drinking binge I've been on, should probably stop doing that so much...), just being playful, but she was doing the same. I got a really long, tight hug when I left, aww...... Whatever. She did give me a kiss at the bar earlier when I asked her what flavor lip balm she just put on. Mocha.

I don't think this is going poorly. In the past I would be very depressed right now, probably sending her some dumb text message, but I feel a sense of content.

She told me to call her again tomorrow.

 

[blinkwatt]

Be a man,take charge,make the decisions,don't wait,let her know what you think,be confident in all the moves you do...LEAD!

Remember life is a learning expierence and there are no "wrong" moves.

 

[monster squad]

She didn't answer when I called.

I received a rather pointless, one word, inside joke comment on Myspace that she apparently send a half hour after I called. Second one of the day. Kinda strange.

I think something has her bummed out though, so maybe I shouldn't jump to any hasty conclusions. There was a comment on her page from a friend of her's telling her to keep her head up, some "uplifting" words. **** knows what's up.

For some reason, I feel guilty right now. I'm considering just completely closing her out, in favor of this other girl , but I don't want to find out that there could have been something more with this girl, nor do I want to the other girl to play second best.

 

[Cod3r]

Oh god come on mannn... ur acting like a female who loves the daytime tv drama bullsh*t... what is this ?? Seriously I feel like this situation involves two females...

"She gave me a tight hug... awwww" ... "she left a message on my mysepace"

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Guhhh seriously man, u fvcked her so either chuck her ass on the street and continue on with your life or tell her you want to keep fvcking her no questions asked. She likes you but she's waiting for you to please BE A MAN damn ! You people make everything so complicated, sorry to yell at you but I've been in this situation before and it made me sick because i did the same things ur doing now and mann it ended horribly... don't let her manipulate u...

--
I had the same thing cept i didn't fvck mines but got close. She felt wierd, I felt wierd but we both enjoyed each others company. My feelings grew, she used me saw other guys and then asked me... "wats wrong ? y r u quiet ?" knowing that i was pissed but not giving a damn... got to the point i didn't get out of bed for like 3 days cuz i was so depressed... eventually she kept tellin me about other guys and i had to end it... juss called her a '****' and never spoken to her again... it feels beautiful... do it !


-Cod3r