I gotta get ANGRY! I gotta get MEAN!

[The Comeback Kid]

As I've been going through school and classes and extra-cirriculars and gaming chicks this year, I realized something that could be a bit of a weakness: I'm too laid-back, I'm too nice.

No no no, not nice like a "nice guy" where there's desperation and being too clingy. In my case, I just don't get mad as often as I should. Something that'll upset others won't really tick me off at the moment. When someone yells at me, even if they're wrong, I calmly diffuse the situation or just move on. If something does irritate me, I've been raised to take the high road. At my internship this past summer, my boss also preached to us about taking the high road on anything. Unfortunately, this attitude comes off as me being...well...a nice guy. I'm someone others try to push over because I'm not mean (when I stand up for myself, they act somewhat surprised).

There are some flashes where I do get mad. When this happens, it's like waking up the mini-giant. I'm not tall, but people assume I'm on steroids (picked up 40lbs of muscle within a three-year span and I'm in great shape). When I'm not mad, someone can jab at my body and I won't feel the need to do anything (usually because it didn't hurt). When I'm pissed and that happened, I threw the guy 15 feet across the room into a table. He didn't try anything again. If you've seen Major League II, I'm similar to the Rick Vaughn character. When he's not mad or doesn't have his edge, he doesn't throw hard and gets battered around. Once he does get mad and regains his edge, he throws smoke and no one can hit him.

I feel one reason I don't really show much anger is because, when I do flex my adrenaline, it's over-the-top. I don't attack them personally or say something out of line or knock them into a coma, but people act as if I really hurt their feelings. They then won't talk to me again, even if THEY instigated it. Usually, people will argue or get into a fight, but there's always a reconciliation of some sort. With me, either they get their way (when I hold off the anger) or they want absolutely nothing to do with me (when I unload, or really stand up for myself).

Moving forward, I feel I gotta get angry! I gotta get mean! My question for you guys is...how do you balance your emotions? I feel not unleashing any adrenaline I have is very limiting. As I said before, I have trouble getting real mad. In the few instances where I do get mad, everyone runs for the hills before I can do anything in fear of what may happen.

p.s. Pimpsicle made a great point in a previous thread about how my only main obstacle is me getting into my own head. The over-analyzing kills my game a bit. However, if there's something else that's hurting me, this is it. I have an edge when it comes to my workouts, getting my work done, or when someone says I can't do something. For a general attitude though...it's something I need to work on.

 

[trent81]

I would read Marcus Aerilous "Confessions". Any show of emotion or decision making based on emotion is a feminine characteristic. If you are angry, show it by hitting someone. If someone says something, say it back. But don't force emotions. A man should never make decisions based on emotion.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Thanks guys. For me, it's an issue of just NOT getting mad as often as I maybe should. One positive of this, as you noted, is that my emotions don't show as much. I keep myself in check. The reason I started the thread is because I was feeling that, by not releasing any anger I have, it's holding me back a little. It seems people associate "not showing anger" or "not fighting back" as a nice guy trait.

One other element this ties into...if I'm working on something, I either go 100% or 0%. It's pretty easy to tell when I'm trying and when I'm "dogging it." I'll either do something really well or it's a mess. Like the emotions thing, I can't go 50% on something. Just something interesting that I noted.

 

[omega05]

i feel you on not showing anger being seen as a nice guy trait

 

[Julian]

Vin diesel to paul walker, F & F 1 - "Dont lose your cool, its your meal ticket"

Its not about being a nice guy or a mad guy or whatever. Its about knowing where the fukk you stand and self assuredness and not letting people walk on you like a gotdamn rug. Its being the cool dangerous mofo who's nice to everybody until someone crosses the line. Now where that line stands is up to you. Its not about going from bruce banner to hulk all the time or zero to nuclear rage over bullsh1t...its about calling out BS the second it happens and checking someone the moment they try to get over on you. Take no disrespect from anyone no matter what. Its about how you carry yourself and having that dont fuk with me attitude.

Someone playfully punchin you (oh your not gonna get mad you barely felt it right?, but the problem is it did sort of sting... and might leave a small bruise but you wanna be tough guy and act like it was just for fun)....well when someone lays there hands on you its time to put them mofo's in check. "Bro you just punched me thats grounds for a fight, we're gona come to blows son, dont **** around with me". I see that sh1t all the time, guys punchin other dudes givin em body shots, the other guy laughin trying to cover acting like it didnt hurt even though you can hear them connect and you know the sunofabish felt it. Yeah its not all out brawl but its grounds for checkin someone QUICK an showin them your not a fking punching bag and if they want to act like you are you will KO their skull.

Bottomline you shouldnt be worried about hurting peoples feelings, ALWAYS stand up for yourself...fukk what they think. If they werent being on some bullsh1t to begin with you wouldnt have to put em in their place.

 

[Ridingthelightning]

Not showing anger does not make you have a nice guy persona. You have that because you probably are a nice guy. I don't get pissed at anything much anymore, but people know not to mess with me because I stop any potential for such situations before they even starts.
I work in a restaurant and people in there put you through the ringer because they're testing you. At first I stayed quiet and just let it go. But it just kept on and on until I came back with some very witty comments that cut them all down to size. I think this happens in a lot of other situations. Lots of people are testing you to see if you're one to be pushed or are doing the pushing. I don't see the point because I'm educated and don't need to prove myself to myself. But sometimes you have to prove yourself to others because thats how they understand life.

 

[moneyisking]

i believe that you're good just as you're. for that being, an alpha male and man does not show his emotions easy and lose control like a girl. if someone is yelling at you, and you look at him with authority and speak with authority, then you're being a man, not a weak nice guy. of course, there has to be times when you really need to show your mean side, but that is ONLY when the other person fvcks up, walks over you, and etc. i will tell you this, be you, don't be an azzhole on purpose b/c as far as i know and i tried, being azzhole is an inborn thing. anyways though, be mean and enjoy the intense confrontation only if you think that the person is purposely walking over you, mocking you, and disrespecting you. just trust your man-gut. if you feel it, then you know when the time to get mad is. don't suppress the anger. if you feel something tighten up and piss off inside, probably that means you should go rampage on that mother fvcker

 

[sodbuster]

LIke other posters have said. Don't let them start to walk over you. They hang around you cause they think they are the dominant one,when you let them know otherwise, they run off. Be their equal-they hit you, hit them back-same time,same station. They then know they aren't over you. No one can make you a doormat unless you let them

 

[jaysean11]

just be a confident MAN. know that you are the man you want to be. when you do, you will find that you are friendly to everyone you talk to, and people will like you for who you are. when you are confident, you will also not take **** from anyone. if someone does something that pisses you off, you let them know that it better not happen again. be authoritative, have a loud booming voice. if someone ****s with you, get very physical and up in their face, make sure that they feel dominated. then, forgive them the next day because you are a nice dude who does not hold grudges. your testosterone should be the biggest influencing factor in how you act

play football next season. this lets your testosterone free to fvck someones sh/t up. you will feel much more manly