I got scared...Regrets ville

[theapprentice]

Today I went to a bar with two friends, and we were sitting there and there were some cute girls across the table, and we tried to think of things to say.

We just couldnt and the fear of not having something good enough to say, held us back from approaching them.

We thought about saying "Hey ladies, having fun, can we join in?" or just "Hi, can you keep the noise down?" (with a smile) or "Hey ladies, how about a group picture?" (there were taking alot of pictures)

But we bit*ched out, I tried to rally my courage but I just couldnt, my body wouldnt let me go. 3 second rule or not, I am scared were there is nothing I could tell myself to go and talk to those girls other than a threat by an outside human or some dare or condition.

I feel regret now and the problem is that I feel it so many times but it never motivates me for the next time.

I cant seem to break this cycle.

 

[ChrizZ]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=20096

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

But we bit*ched out, I tried to rally my courage but I just couldnt, my body wouldnt let me go. 3 second rule or not, I am scared were there is nothing I could tell myself to go and talk to those girls other than a threat by an outside human or some dare or condition.

I'm curious, what's the worst that could happen by going up and talking to them? Oh right, they blow you off. Then you have to go home and cry yourself to sleep because a complete stranger judged you hopelessly inadequate as a human being based on one sentence, culminating of course in your sad and lonely death because such an instance proves you could never be loved by a good woman.

The difference between us is when I say these things, I'm being sarcastic. What about you? Methinks you're taking this whole thing way too seriously.

-CyranoDeBergerac

 

[theapprentice]

Ic

I've tried to take it easy and not give much thought to girls, I would look at a girl and she would look nice and I would say "Fu*ck her" she doesnt look good, even if she does that doesnt mean sh*t.

I didnt let them make me feel inferior. But after a while of taking it easy I felt guilty of not making much of an effort to try and talk to girls and to get over my fear.

When I take it easy I dont have as much anxiety as I do when I put pressure on myself. But when I take it easy I dont really put myself into difficult positions to try and overcome my fear either.

So its hard, because on one hand I can take it easy and the anxiety goes down but on the other the anxiety and discomfort goes up but I take more risk.

The only problem with the anxiety routine is that it ruins all other aspects of my life, I can't think straight, study, work-out anything. My mind becomes focused on only one thing and it puts alot of pressure on me.

But when I take it easy I might take some risk and not even feel anxious at all but I won't go out of my way and talk to a stranger on the bus or make a move or do something I am scared shi*tless about.

 

[tuxen]

At least your being a little bit more positive and trying to take a step in the right direction.

What you need, is a real genuine, indirect, canned opener. It will at least take away the thinking of what to say aspect of the approach.

 

[theapprentice]

Hmm..

That would be really cool if there was a collection of solid openers for diffrent situations so that guys who are afraid and can't think of things to say always have things to fall back onto.