"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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i got rejected

Deadly_Assassin

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yes I got rejected, really bad into LJBF zone. This is the asian chick from church. I asked her out on a date first she said she was busy, a week later I asked her again she said she wasnt ready for a relationship. I was like k, if u are interested in me I am prepared to wait but if u dont then let me know so I can move on. She said she didnt know at first then she started talking about some other stuff, I was trying to direct the convo back at my first question. After a while she was like yea back to ur first question she said she had kinda given up on dating at the moment, n shes really complicated n its really hard to find someone ginuiene n no she doesnt have those feelings she kept trying to say some more stuff I was like k, i can handle a no, its ok, she wanted to talk more about the other subject but I was like na I better go. The problem is I am gonna see her at church every week n shes kinda in my friends circle. Another thing is a few people from church are moving to start up a new church n me n her are moving as well.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DJnomore

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its simple...

Love is like Money


Supply and demand are in constant opposition.

If your supply exceeds her demand for your supply your price falls.

If your price is falling you need to reduce supply. Find other buyers of your time.

And getting rejected 1 time is not what DJ is about.

Get rejected by 10-20 women and then talk to her again.


Set yourself a goal to ask out as many women as necessary away from church until you get 10 rejections. Try your best so that takes a while. Then when that is done you can hang out with your "friend" again. You and her are friends BTW not romantic prospects.

But if you learn your market value via asking the girls out you will have a much better positions to bargin from.
 

bossdog

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dont ask girls out. tell her your going somewhere and she can come with you.
 

Deadly_Assassin

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i dont know why the frick everytime I like a girl I end up in the friendszone. I mean i can get girls in clubs n stuff, like last friday, I went to my mates 21st. There was this HB8 blonde standing there by herself at the bar I easily chatter her up, she was really wanting to dance n stuff n her lips were always touching my ears whenever she would say something. Her bf came along n took her away I moved on, another blondie HB7 her bf was there too but she was putting her arm around me n really touchy, laughing at my jokes, caught her a couple of times checking me out but she too was with her bf. I am not saying I am the biggest stud on the planet, but I do have confidence n I know that I can get chicks like this but y is it that when I actually like them n want a relationship I end up in the friendszone.

I really wanna get over this asian chick but I am gonna see her at church n stuff n I dont wanna be rude n ignore her straight up. I dont wanna be friends with her as well, frick that n watch her get it on with other guys. She seems like a girl who really wants a guy who would commitment n wouldnt hurt her, n she knew thru my other mate that I went out to this 21st on friday nite n kinda got with sum chicks. I am getting this feeling that she doesnt wanna go out with me cos she thinks I am not the type of guy that would commit.
 
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"dont ask girls out. tell her your going somewhere and she can come with you."

Then you look like an idiot when they say no.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Hollowpoint

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That was a HORRIBLE read so I didn't finish it, but good for you.
She probably wasn't any good in the sack anyways. :)
 

syemour

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Re: its simple...

Originally posted by DJnomore
Love is like Money


Supply and demand are in constant opposition.

If your supply exceeds her demand for your supply your price falls.

If your price is falling you need to reduce supply. Find other buyers of your time.

And getting rejected 1 time is not what DJ is about.

Get rejected by 10-20 women and then talk to her again.


Set yourself a goal to ask out as many women as necessary away from church until you get 10 rejections. Try your best so that takes a while. Then when that is done you can hang out with your "friend" again. You and her are friends BTW not romantic prospects.

But if you learn your market value via asking the girls out you will have a much better positions to bargin from.
dis is assumin dudes demand curve is elastic.
 

Dapper Swindler

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Eh, this story makes me sick. I can't stand girls like this. Not because they're religious, not because they're prudish, but because they're so close-minded that you can't even talk to them. This girl won't even give you a chance because she's so closed off to uncontrollable elements in her life. And she won't even flat out tell you no and instead gives you bullsh it answers so that she can avoid any conflict. Always playing it so safe. It's frustrating isn't it? And now you have to see her all the time and feel rejected and embarassed because of this. I don't know what you can do about it, but I would like to see the tables turned somehow.
 

Deadly_Assassin

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man after reading mr. fingz post about escaping the friendszone it just kinda open my eyes.

I know I already have been LJBF so I rung the chick up told her its totally cool with me just being friends n thats the way we will leave it. I know you guys are gonna say wtf, dont even intiate contact, but I cant avoid her, I dont wanna have awkward moments between us specially if we gonna be going to the same church n might have to work together sometimes, so I might as well make things cool between us. I mean I dont really care anymore if i get her or not because I know I can do better. But things have to change now like I have to be sexual with this chick maybe not so bold from the start, but gotta keep reminding her that I just like her as a friend n its just harmless flirting. Especially the power of detachment, gotta date other girls, but flirt with her at the same time, try not to hang around her all the time, gotta make her gravitate towards me especially if shes gonna have afcs running after her most of the time. shes gonna know by keeping in touch with me on what she missed out not that I care. Thats the important part for me the detachment n sexual person. I have kinda realised that i dont look or act sexual around this chick, but when i go out clubbing n the chicks i meet that I am sexual around them i dont know how or why but i must change this.
 

bossdog

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Originally posted by SomethingCreative
"dont ask girls out. tell her your going somewhere and she can come with you."

Then you look like an idiot when they say no.
no you look someone who has **** to do with or without her. how would you look like an idiot. You look like an idiot when you ask her on a date and she says no.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DJ_Dork

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I don't give a crap about Mr. Fingers and "escaping" the friends zone. You can ESCAPE IT only if she totally found you attractive yet while dating something messed up and she put you in friends category.

Stop rationalizing, this girl was never interested in you in the first place.
 

DJ_Dork

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Originally posted by bossdog
no you look someone who has **** to do with or without her. how would you look like an idiot. You look like an idiot when you ask her on a date and she says no.
Please, lets let go of our egos here?

Both of you have good ways of asking out for dates. The girl KNOWS if you're asking her out, it's so obvious whether it's a "Hey, there's this Zoo thats having some new dangerous animals exhibit, let's go" to "I'm going down to a jazz club and I was wondering if you're interested in joining me"

No one is going to look stupid if the girl said no. If she says No, she says no and you guys should appreciate a direct answer. Trust me that answer is better than "Ummm...Maybe" or "I'll give you a call tomorrow to confirm" which is cryptic indirect answer for "No."
 

VictorK

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I know how you feel, I just got LJBF from this girl, but I'm gonna learn from my mistakes and push forward onto the new girls i will meet.
 
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