sharpshooter
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2004
- Messages
- 278
- Reaction score
- 4
what kind of advice is this?
I got rejected too many times yesterday, even though I wasn't actively approaching
- Thread starter duke007
- Start date
what kind of advice is this?
Jango_Xavier
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2003
- Messages
- 247
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 41
Well its hard for a hetero to tell if a guy is good looking, so dont take any notice of what this moron just said, only a chick can give u a good answer
Btw, all chicks are different so some chicks will find u good looking & others wont.
duke007
Master Don Juan
Finally....my reply
I appreciated all the replies to this thread but since it has been a hectic week I've been unable to write sooner.
I made this post with the aim of getting criticism, because sometimes that is the only way you learn.
First, I agree that "rejection" is probably the wrong word. It makes it sound worse than it was. As the day went on though, it seemed almost comical how many girls gave me negative signals. I must admit I found myself making these half-approaches to see how much poor luck a guy could have. But then when all is said and done and I settle into bed, I couldn't help but feel a little hopeless. That's the problem with things like rejection hunting or bootcamp. The fears melt away, but you need to be tough to fend off the "why me?" attitiude. Doing this and reflected has helped me to overcome this feeling.
DankNuggs you are completely right about me taking things too personally. Sometimes I kid myself into thinking I don't, but on certain average, "got up on the wrong side of the bed" days I certainly do. I had a long hard think about this.
About the approaches:
Earlier this week, a bunch of people got out of the tram with me at that same stop. There were 16 of us. Once everybody reached the corner of the fence, myself and another dude were the only people to go through the park. Looks like it wasn't me being snubbed after all...people in general are just stupid.
The hi approach was annoying but this happens all the time in bootcamp. Plus I agree I didn't make a flash start at the bus depot approach but nothing was stopping me from persisting with something more DJ.
Since I was very busy, I think I just wanted an easy victory. Surely some of you guys would admit that it sh1ts you when guys post on here about getting obvious signals and sealing the deal with a "no skills required" approach It's not that easy for many of us. When learning anything, a few gimmes are always good for motivation. I'm dedicated to learning the proper way, but at the same time I've never had a gimme. And unless you want to focus on DJing 24/7 this can be frustrating.
BUT, you do raise a valid point. I understand my appearance hinders my success. I look very youthful. While it is possible to feel like a man, those who don't know just assume you're a boy. And I'm not dirty about it....that is what all human beings do when judging age.
This is why I am here, I wasn't able to attract girls on my own. Others are here for other reasons. I never had the outright AFC mentality that others had...it really shocked me reading some of the "AFC missed opportunity" stories and I've always been amused by guys who are complete pushovers. In other words, there's no way I'd pvssy out of cold approaches because of looks because I have too much self-respect. And neither should any of you other guys in the same situation. I'm here for the long haul. I don't care how many approaches it takes because each one makes you a more confident well-rounded individual.
Funny thing is, 15 minutes before I read that post, I'd just worked up the courage to shave off my goatee. After 20 months it was getting old. Looking in the mirror I initially regretted it, seemed like I'd decreased in age another two years! But in the following few days I started to wonder why the hell I had the goatee for so long. Girls I knew gave me compliments, and I noticed my jawline looked more square when clean-shaven.
It's been an up and down week. I was really physically ill on Friday and have felt slightly bad since. At a party on Saturday, no single girls batted an eyelid at me, only the taken ones. I was speaking to the girlfriend of an acquaitance of mine for only the second time and I can tell she really likes me. Lots of compliments, EC, she repeatedly kinoed my arm and chest. Then she kept feeling my new "baby soft" jawline and having me find out how cold her hands were by putting them on my face. She even invited me to feel how smooth her skin was. Eg "Feel my arm....now feel here....now feel my neck"
It was kinda fvckin frustrating, because this girl is cool and we have lots of common. Also, my cameo speech was a no-show because the guy's sister unknowingly stole my one piece of material. So the party was a downer.
Afterwards though, I overcame the negativity and things began to turn around. I don't know whether it is the new beardless look, complete opposite luck, or the fact that women are mind readers. Like I said before I've been feeling unwell so I have no idea how i've been portraying this more confident outlook. Still, all the half-rejections have been replaced by opportunities and I'm no longer the second class citizen. Sh1t, I even got two winks and an email saying I looked sexy from dating sites on the same day.
Then yesterday, the cool girl with a BF who I've been flirting with heavily in class for the past few months just hinted she is single again. I love how she was obscure about it. And I'm pleased at the fact that I didn't have to make a potentially damaging move but still got a desired result. I acted oblivious to the hint, and I could tell that made her antsy!
Today I casually announced we'd visit the campus pub next week so she can get those beers I owe her. She was quick to say yes.
It's funny how luck can change.
I appreciated all the replies to this thread but since it has been a hectic week I've been unable to write sooner.
I made this post with the aim of getting criticism, because sometimes that is the only way you learn.
First, I agree that "rejection" is probably the wrong word. It makes it sound worse than it was. As the day went on though, it seemed almost comical how many girls gave me negative signals. I must admit I found myself making these half-approaches to see how much poor luck a guy could have. But then when all is said and done and I settle into bed, I couldn't help but feel a little hopeless. That's the problem with things like rejection hunting or bootcamp. The fears melt away, but you need to be tough to fend off the "why me?" attitiude. Doing this and reflected has helped me to overcome this feeling.
DankNuggs you are completely right about me taking things too personally. Sometimes I kid myself into thinking I don't, but on certain average, "got up on the wrong side of the bed" days I certainly do. I had a long hard think about this.
About the approaches:
Earlier this week, a bunch of people got out of the tram with me at that same stop. There were 16 of us. Once everybody reached the corner of the fence, myself and another dude were the only people to go through the park. Looks like it wasn't me being snubbed after all...people in general are just stupid.
The hi approach was annoying but this happens all the time in bootcamp. Plus I agree I didn't make a flash start at the bus depot approach but nothing was stopping me from persisting with something more DJ.
Since I was very busy, I think I just wanted an easy victory. Surely some of you guys would admit that it sh1ts you when guys post on here about getting obvious signals and sealing the deal with a "no skills required" approach It's not that easy for many of us. When learning anything, a few gimmes are always good for motivation. I'm dedicated to learning the proper way, but at the same time I've never had a gimme. And unless you want to focus on DJing 24/7 this can be frustrating.
None taken. This is not very constructive advice, as was already mentioned. Only the weak would give up an on aspect of their personal development because of looks. The whole point of this site is to teach the more average looking guys the skills and mentality to get the 9s. Also, you make it sound like I'm stalking them. Any girl who would freak out just because an average looking guy was walking near them would have major emotional problems.
BUT, you do raise a valid point. I understand my appearance hinders my success. I look very youthful. While it is possible to feel like a man, those who don't know just assume you're a boy. And I'm not dirty about it....that is what all human beings do when judging age.
This is why I am here, I wasn't able to attract girls on my own. Others are here for other reasons. I never had the outright AFC mentality that others had...it really shocked me reading some of the "AFC missed opportunity" stories and I've always been amused by guys who are complete pushovers. In other words, there's no way I'd pvssy out of cold approaches because of looks because I have too much self-respect. And neither should any of you other guys in the same situation. I'm here for the long haul. I don't care how many approaches it takes because each one makes you a more confident well-rounded individual.
Funny thing is, 15 minutes before I read that post, I'd just worked up the courage to shave off my goatee. After 20 months it was getting old. Looking in the mirror I initially regretted it, seemed like I'd decreased in age another two years! But in the following few days I started to wonder why the hell I had the goatee for so long. Girls I knew gave me compliments, and I noticed my jawline looked more square when clean-shaven.
It's been an up and down week. I was really physically ill on Friday and have felt slightly bad since. At a party on Saturday, no single girls batted an eyelid at me, only the taken ones. I was speaking to the girlfriend of an acquaitance of mine for only the second time and I can tell she really likes me. Lots of compliments, EC, she repeatedly kinoed my arm and chest. Then she kept feeling my new "baby soft" jawline and having me find out how cold her hands were by putting them on my face. She even invited me to feel how smooth her skin was. Eg "Feel my arm....now feel here....now feel my neck"
It was kinda fvckin frustrating, because this girl is cool and we have lots of common. Also, my cameo speech was a no-show because the guy's sister unknowingly stole my one piece of material. So the party was a downer.
Afterwards though, I overcame the negativity and things began to turn around. I don't know whether it is the new beardless look, complete opposite luck, or the fact that women are mind readers. Like I said before I've been feeling unwell so I have no idea how i've been portraying this more confident outlook. Still, all the half-rejections have been replaced by opportunities and I'm no longer the second class citizen. Sh1t, I even got two winks and an email saying I looked sexy from dating sites on the same day.
Then yesterday, the cool girl with a BF who I've been flirting with heavily in class for the past few months just hinted she is single again. I love how she was obscure about it. And I'm pleased at the fact that I didn't have to make a potentially damaging move but still got a desired result. I acted oblivious to the hint, and I could tell that made her antsy!
Today I casually announced we'd visit the campus pub next week so she can get those beers I owe her. She was quick to say yes.
It's funny how luck can change.
Re: Finally....my reply
IIRC, you look normal. You just maybe had thoughts or impressions from various other situations and maybe felt that your looks weren't great, and then some random person on some internet forum, says you're "not the greatest looking guy"....AND THEN, you post and accept his 'point' as a limitation.
I seriously doubt your looks hinders your progress. Also, you say that you look younger or whatever, well good..wouldn't you rather look younger than older anyway...shiat...some people age really bad, lol..(eventually, you'll look old--just like what happens to all of us eventually)
No it wasn't a valid point. Looks is a 'relativistic' thing in that some people will find your more attractive than others.
IIRC, you look normal. You just maybe had thoughts or impressions from various other situations and maybe felt that your looks weren't great, and then some random person on some internet forum, says you're "not the greatest looking guy"....AND THEN, you post and accept his 'point' as a limitation.
I seriously doubt your looks hinders your progress. Also, you say that you look younger or whatever, well good..wouldn't you rather look younger than older anyway...shiat...some people age really bad, lol..(eventually, you'll look old--just like what happens to all of us eventually
)duke007
Master Don Juan
I agree it's a lot better to look younger than older. My best years are definitely ahead of me.
But still I have to be a realist and understand that girls my age initially perceive me to be younger than them and therefore don't give the signals that other older-looking guys get more often.
But still I have to be a realist and understand that girls my age initially perceive me to be younger than them and therefore don't give the signals that other older-looking guys get more often.
Happens to me sometimes... when I walk around with a bloody machete
Girls are shy on the street. They don't like to be picked up by random strangers. Maybe, sometimes, when they're desperate and life your looks already... but very rarely will they enjoy a cold approach. Maybe I'm doing them wrong, but my experience been similar.
Try talking to girl at your lectures, at uni clubs, at the gym, at the tennis court... etc. they are more open there.
Girls are shy on the street. They don't like to be picked up by random strangers. Maybe, sometimes, when they're desperate and life your looks already... but very rarely will they enjoy a cold approach. Maybe I'm doing them wrong, but my experience been similar.
Try talking to girl at your lectures, at uni clubs, at the gym, at the tennis court... etc. they are more open there.