I got rejected and I survived!

[Ever onward]

Okay here is the background, I'm 27, she's 22, We met on the internet and we met in person for the first time last night. She had some pics on the internet, I thought she was fairly hot, I didn't have any pics so she didn't know what I look like until she met me last night. We both live in the same city by the way.

We have been talking on the phone on and off for about a week but we hadn't been able to arrange for a meeting until last night. She calls me up and tells me to come over to her friends house to "say hello" and "break the ice". So I go over there and meet her and her two friends. The whole time I'm a complete nervous wreck and I act like a dork. The three of them were mostly talking to each other with me just kind of standing there like a fool. The girl I'm interested in barely talked to me and made limited eye contact. She did invite me to a party at her friends house tonight and I told her I couldn't go because I work. So after awhile I got tired of standing there and being left out of the conversation so I try to make a graceful exit and say "well I better take off, nice meeting you ladies". I was hoping she would walk me to the car and talk to me a bit but she just said "I'll email you". I smiled at her like "yeah right" and said good bye.

I'm pretty sure she isn't going to contact me again but if she does, what do I say? What if she calls me after a few days and says "why haven't u called me?" Should I tell her I didn't feel like we hit it off even though I thought she was attractive and would date her. Should I just say "Next" and forget about her?

Overall I feel good about the experience. I feel like I gained some more practice as far as interacting with women and maybe someday I won't have an anxiety attack when i meet someone new. Hey it's one rejection closer to a yes right?

 

[Belgium_Freak]

if it was me, i would'v seen her alone, you know, isolate her.

 

[JT47319]

Well, if he had successfully engaged and interacted with ALL her girlfriends, that wins him major social proof and makes him more attractive to her. Still, it's a lessons learned for the chap.

 

[Ever onward]

BF

Yeah that's what I wanted too but it was a spur of the moment kind of thing. Plus I think she was a little paranoid about meeting someone she met online.

JT

I wish I could have hit it off with all three but I've got a ways to go

 

[Ever onward]

Come on guys this is the first time I've had an experience with a real woman in like a million years! Give me some feedback here.

What should I say if she ever calls me?

 

[Reflex]

To be honest, that was a perfect opportunity to show your personality. I see your post as more of you not having the experience around women and lack of social skills to make it a beneficial encounter. I mean, that was a hell of a good thing when she invited you over to her friend's house. The choices there would be high. If I were in your shoes, I would have gone in and chatted up her friends, just chill with them. Play a game or something with them and just have fun. I mean what exactly was the problem here? That looked like a good opportunity ot do something there. There's a good quote around somewhere but basically it said, "Take action because you can't fantasize about things coming to you."


Could have done some games like truth or dare, play hot hands, thumb wrestle, just talk about stories, etc. If she does call back(hopefully), go set up a meeting ASAP and do something with her. Walk around with her and chill, look around the scenery, whatever. Just do something with her so you both have a good time.

 

[OddTech]

Originally posted by Ever onward
Come on guys this is the first time I've had an experience with a real woman in like a million years! Give me some feedback here.

What should I say if she ever calls me?

Sorry dude, but I doubt she'll call you. In the meantime, find other girls. If she does want to hang out next time, isolate her like B.F. said. Don't have her friends come. Go out for a short date. Have fun, then post back.

 

[Okra]

Yes....definately isolate her. Then work your charm. Her lame-o friends are just going to get in YOUR way. I always use isolation. Why have anyone else around. A lot of people would be happy to ruin everything for you.

 

[Hurri]

u met them, acted like a beta and wondering what's next? next time, run some group rountines on them, work her friends and make ur target work for ur attention. DAFS

 

[iceHawk]

Im a Moron...

So, she called told me that im going to be walking into am ambush. This was a trap and I knew it. Therefore I prepared myself as best as possible to walk right into it and get socially massacred. No prep talk, no acting outgoing, acted completely how they wanted me to. In the end I acted like a complete and utter social rejection on my part, and only hope shell show up at my house to finish me off with a bayonet.. All in all I think this was a learning experience and my HONEST best hopes are that I only make 1/2 the ass of myself next time I run into someone I have a vague chance at putting something between her legs. This was a great learning experience......

TIP: STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR FAILURE AND NEXT TIME, JUST SUCCEED.

 

[AFCinBC]

Psych anyone?

Hey, this may be irrelevent but I know that at least 50% of the population have serious serious mental problems. Stop Mental Masterbation o.k.? When you met those girls what happend... My bet is you went inside yourself and started imagining eather something bad or something good eather way it was just fanatasy.... and it messed up your game cause you where in the corner thinking of getting head from three girls when you shoulda been talking to them so you COULD get head from three girls the ends ... the means... the mind. In most social situations I notice ppl have terrible habits of THINKING when they SHOULD be ACTING anyone else notice this lots of fantasizing about what could or should happen when all they would have to do is DO it I mean they get so caught up in there own bull**** they forget they just need to live .. here... now In this moment.

 

[Ever onward]

edit

 

[Ever onward]

So, she called told me that im going to be walking into am ambush. This was a trap and I knew it. Therefore I prepared myself as best as possible to walk right into it and get socially massacred. No prep talk, no acting outgoing, acted completely how they wanted me to. In the end I acted like a complete and utter social rejection on my part, and only hope shell show up at my house to finish me off with a bayonet.. All in all I think this was a learning experience and my HONEST best hopes are that I only make 1/2 the ass of myself next time I run into someone I have a vague chance at putting something between her legs. This was a great learning experience......

TIP: STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR FAILURE AND NEXT TIME, JUST SUCCEED.

IceHawk

The way you put it makes it sound pretty silly. It helps me to laugh about the whole thing. But I don't consider this a failure at all, it would have been a failure if I pussed out and was too scared to meet her at all.

Hey, this may be irrelevent but I know that at least 50% of the population have serious serious mental problems. Stop Mental Masterbation o.k.? When you met those girls what happend... My bet is you went inside yourself and started imagining eather something bad or something good eather way it was just fanatasy.... and it messed up your game cause you where in the corner thinking of getting head from three girls when you shoulda been talking to them so you COULD get head from three girls the ends ... the means... the mind. In most social situations I notice ppl have terrible habits of THINKING when they SHOULD be ACTING anyone else notice this lots of fantasizing about what could or should happen when all they would have to do is DO it I mean they get so caught up in there own bull**** they forget they just need to live .. here... now In this moment.

AFC

I'm not sure I was mentally masturbating....could be wrong she was pretty hot! But I do think I have a problem with social anxiety and the only way to overcome that is to put myself out there. I just need to work on the social skills and be able to relate to people better with conversation.

 

[Sasu11]

Originally posted by Ever onward

Overall I feel good about the experience. I feel like I gained some more practice as far as interacting with women and maybe someday I won't have an anxiety attack when i meet someone new. Hey it's one rejection closer to a yes right?

Honestly I think that either you've got to lower your standards and pick a less attractive woman or your just gonna keep getting rejections.

But if you really want an attractive woman then perhaps you should ask if you are attractive yourself. Someone wise on this forum said that you've got to BUY a relationship, not build one. When you buy something you give something of value in exchange for something else of value, so what have you got to offer?

If you're not good looking then change it. What's your hair style like? What shape is your body in? What kind of clothes do you wear? Are they anything like the guys that you see who are popular with women? You can change all this stuff. BECOME attractive. Pick up a sport or some kind of activity which you can become good at and use to show off. If you LOOK cool then women will start to think you ARE cool.

Read my post if you like.
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=55684