I got played, can anyone tell me what happened!?!?! :(

[ReaverDJ]

So I started dating this that chick at work about 3 months ago and things were going great and we really seemed to hit it off, we went out every weekend but kept our relationship a secret at work, she had told me she never went out with anyone other than me. I met her parents, she met my parents and my son even took quite a liking to her.

I took a trip to Texas with another co-worker and made the mistake of telling him that I was going out with her. On our way back, I asked him for a ride back home, but he flatly refused saying that the chick who was picking up would not be able to do it, but he did tell me where she was coming from and what kind of car. The location and car matched hers. I had my suspicions but tried not to think to much of it.

Fast forward a month later she starts becoming distant and not as happy to talk or see me. I ask her to go to our regular hang out and she says she needs to help her uncle with something. I call her on Sunday, and we agree to make plans for next Friday. Friday comes up and she tells me, I kind of predicted it, that she needed to help her family get ready for a party the next day, but would be free on Sunday. I notice that she's been talking a lot to my other co-worker. So I call her back and tell her that I'm cancelling our date on Sunday. I proceed to cut off all contact (her number, myspace, facebook)

A week later, I'm out with that same "buddy" of mine and he tells me that he has gone out with her before a long time ago, and that he and this other co-worker of mine just went out with her last week, on the same day that she had told me she was helping her family.


Now supposedly she's going out with this other guy, who she also wants to keep a secret with, who she talked hella **** about by the way and I just think the whole situation is weird.


Anyone care to comment, I think I did the right thing by cutting her off right away.

 

[slaog]

She's a cheat, forget about her. See it as a lucky escape that you didn't invest more time with her.


She'll continue to behave like this so it's best you find out now what she's really like. Let the others have her because they're just AFC's with low standards chasing a woman like that.

 

[J Roc]

learn to keep a secret next time

 

[ReaverDJ]

I always thought her wanting to keep it a secret was odd, I mean if she really liked me would it have mattered? If she wants to keep secrets then there is something wrong.

 

[jophil28]

I always thought her wanting to keep it a secret was odd, I mean if she really liked me would it have mattered? If she wants to keep secrets then there is something wrong.

Women are simple and predictable creatures. They are NOT good strategists and their tactics are usually primitive and easily readable IF you stop and examine them before you get involved and invested.
Women who want to date you but want to keep it a secret at work are telling you that they want what they want from you, BUT they plan to portray themselves as still 'available' to other men at the office.
Oh, they will tell you all manner of BS about why the need for secrecy ( she may call it 'privacy' ), but secrecy usually is another word for deception in some form .

 

[Faded Image]

she had told me she never went out with anyone other than me.

That should have raised a red flag right there.

Avoid any and all kinds of contact, not to get back at her but to get over her.

 

[DonGorgon]

She is a ho and you got emotionally attached.. learn from that mistake and dont do it again...

 

[Freeman]

Hey gentlemen how ya doing. I haven't wrote here for a long time- for different reasons. Anyway-to answer your question: You two was going out, being all cute and then BAM! she switched the GAME up on you. You know why she did that.... BECAUSE SHE CAN! Rule one: NEVER GET SERIOUS WITH A CHICK YOU WORK WITH! RULE 2: Never betray reality for what your own wants. It doesn't take a Don Juan Demarco to know that but its okay we all play the field and get sacked. Your problem was that you took the thing way too serious. I suggest that you read Doc Love's principles on Reality factor and bottom line. The reality of the situation was that you two was just platonic/dating which is going out but at anytime things CAN become strictly platonic i.e. just friends. I know, I've been through it bud trust me. Nothing was truly established so in her mind she did nothing wrong. You chose to go against what the reality was and your manhood feelings paid for it. Now you got joe six-pack macking on a chick you thought you had in ya grips-


The key is to not attach yourself to women who aren't built for what you are looking for.

 

[Mavrick]

You did the right thing. The best thing is to find a woman that doesn't treat you like that. If you like yourself, you won't spend anymore time on a woman that's just going to cause you to feel bad all the time.

You want someone you can trust. I think it's very manly of you not to try to change her mind and realize that what she's doing is no good for you.

I think all these problems with men and being a chump comes down to trust. If you can't trust her, then you become insecure. When you become insecure, you do things that actually turn her off and run her away. The best thing to do is look at the situation from a standpoint of whether she's treating you right or wrong. If it's right, reward her. If it's wrong, cut her loose. It's simple, and it's the manly way.

 

[abcd_z]

Women are simple and predictable creatures. They are NOT good strategists and their tactics are usually primitive and easily readable IF you stop and examine them before you get involved and invested.
Women who want to date you but want to keep it a secret at work are telling you that they want what they want from you, BUT they plan to portray themselves as still 'available' to other men at the office.
Oh, they will tell you all manner of BS about why the need for secrecy ( she may call it 'privacy' ), but secrecy usually is another word for deception in some form .

Quoted For Truth.

 

[shinko]

You should have screened this girl extra hard before you even bothered with her. Out of habit you should be testing girls to see whether they have a quality of character your willing to accept into your life (good looks aint enough ) If you decide to make the play for a work colleague, the screening should be taken to stupidly high levels. Nothing worse than finding out late that half the work force has already hit that ¬_¬
two two's, you dodged a bullet. Imagine her knowing all your personal information, then you guys breaking up 2 years down the line and her exposing every detail to the female population at work.

 

[tony-montana]

fuk her best friend

 

[tincanman99]

dude, I just went through this myself. I started seeing a girl at work back in August. One night during a particularly wicked make out session (5 hours) she told me she wanted to keep it quiet because she did not want to ruin either of our careers and the higher ups would be questioning why she chose me over them. She also mentioned a "platonic" male friend that she went through elaborate lengths to explain to me. These were warning flags and I remember thinking to myself that this cant be good. But I proceeded at my own risk.

I stupidly invested myself emotionally in her and became a little needy. I have been on dating sabatical for 5 years.

I subsequently found out - she was dating a friend of mine in the office AND banging him. Also I know she has the hots for the CTO. I know all of this but she does not know that I know.

I cut off all communication about 4 week ago after our last date. No email, no phone calls, no nothing.

I got played, this wont be happening again.