I got hustled but called her out on it, did i handle this right?

[jigga23]

Ok so ive been kind of talking to this girl for about 2 months on and off. kissed her one time and everytime we hang out always a lot of kino. she kind of was being flakely and i was being stupid cause i texted her one night asking her to be my date to my cousins wedding but i was totally toasted that night. Another important thing was she took me to her house one night and she wanted to bone but i had too much to drink so i decided not to even attempt even though i had green lights. After that night i couldnt figure her out anymore i tried to show her i was interested despite the fact i probably crushed her ego/self esteem. but after the night i asked her to be my date she didnt reply so i was like fvck it im done talking to this girl. just call her in a couple of weeks.

One weekened passes i dont call her. The second weekened comes she texts me "what are you doing tonight" I was being pretty vauge with her not saying anything like we should hang out etc. she actually called me again later in the night to see what was up. we meet up at a bar. later on were on each other shes grabbing my hands and stuff like the, all over each other like were going to fvck. We both get a little drunk. This is where it gets interesting.

At the end of the night i just say you should come to my house ill just give you a ride home. she becomes hesitant and says "i cant leave my friend etc, shes the decision maker and my bro may come get me." her friend is going to some dudes house afterwards to fvck. i was like in my head you gotta be joking. So i say well i wanna stay with you so what do you want. she says i dont know its up to my friend. then she starts to give me a hug (goodbye one) i think she wanted me to kiss her but i was like fvck that. i give her one of those half a@s hugs and say well i guess thats what you want so ill see you later. i try to leave like 3 times she keeps on grabbing me and saying dont be a d1ck etc.

Me: wtf are you worried im going to diss you or somehting? "i was way too drunk last time and thats why i didnt do anything but i didnt diss you I wanted to have sex with you."
her: yea i am worried (after she said this she tried to retract it)
her: you act like this is the only weekened.
her: well hang out next weekened (mutual friends bday party)
me: i dont give girls that many chances so i doubt it.
her: dont act like that
me: well you decided what you want (then i just walked away)

I know she did this sh!t to get back at me and her friend was being a cblock. i text her like 15 minutes after i leave and we go back and forth.

me: that was funny and sh!t but i dont think im going to talk to you anymore so ill see you when i see you
her: are you kidding
me: i dont know. no big deal to me but ill talk you later. have a goodnite dork
her: you are a dork...ill see you next weekened.... right?
me: well see i might be busy ill let you know
her: yea ill see you next week.
after that i didnt reply

i am not going to call her next weekened. there is no way now. she hustled me but i let her know that i aint a chump. did i handle this right?

 

[Bigg Boss]

Real good stuff I'd say. You handled it well.

Just the last part of conversation sounded like you were acting and she caught on. which is why she was like "yeah I'll see you next week". But if you are really not going to call her next week then she'll get the picture.

dork lol.. Haven't heard that in a minute. Funny I remember one time my dad called me a dork, me and my bro were rollin

 

[jigga23]

i called her a dork to neg her i didnt wanted to say b1tch even though thats what she was being like

 

[flexion_]

Well when a woman makes a sexual move on you and you reject her (for whatever reason) that turns up the flake-o-meter. I think thats what you are seeing here. Next time if you are too drunk just "lend her a hand" like in American Pie and that will keep her coming back for more without the flake factor.

 

[jigga23]

even though i was probably drunker than the first time i still wouldve done whatever but yea i see that can turn up the flake o meter. It was just funny how that sh!t happened

 

[far from average]

but after the night i asked her to be my date she didnt reply so i was like fvck it im done talking to this girl. just call her in a couple of weeks.

Well, if you're going to call her in a couple of weeks then you're NOT done, right?

I noticed this pattern with you. You say, "I'm done, I'm not playing that game." Then, two lines later, you type "then I called/texted/wrote her a letter saying I am SO done with you."

Sorry to break this to you, but you ARE playing her game, and you are most certainly not done.

This is what you do. Just don't call her. At all. Seriously. Then, at the party, just kind of be ambivalent towards her. This will drive her absolutely bonkers. This is something most people don't understand: Women oftentimes just want a reaction, good OR BAD. It makes them feel validated and important.

You'll find that if you aren't giving her a reaction she'll work much harder for it. Then, get her to realize that the way to earn the validation is to bang you. Problem solved. Don't allow her to get validation any other way.

 

[jigga23]

I know what you are saying far from average. Yea if i do go ill probably be standoffish thats what i usually do if the situation comes up like this one. I just tell her im done cause it obviously shows her something and i get to see the reaction that comes out of her. Im thinking also like you said about her bonin to get my validation. if i go and im not all over her then most likely shell come to me and do whatever.

 

[Latinoman]

jigga...I'm not going to comment in everything you wrote. But, if you cannot perform sexually while drunk... Then, why did you get drunk again?

That's the part that I cannot understand.

 

[Jariel]

It sounds to me like she's just acting in response to you "rejecting" her (from her perspective that is). She probably thinks you are the one playing games with her, so keep that in mind. She didn't hustle you from what I read, she didn't leave with another guy or do anything disrespectful towards you. Who knows, she might have a good reason not to have sex with you that night (like her period), just like you did.

Also understand that women play the same type of games guys on this board preach - being a challenge, playing cool, standing up for themselves and so on - in order to increase or maintain a man's interest.

The big mistake I think you made was telling her you're not gonna talk to her any more. Perhaps I read it out of context, but that seemed like a childish tantrum because you didn't get your own way.

Maybe your experiences or time on this board have made you cynical about women and that's making you jump to negative conclusions, but relax and enjoy your time together regardless of whether it leads to sex. She's probably not a bad girl and is just as keen for things to work out as you are.

 

[spider_007]

you acted like an retard, if you ware leaving, and she didn't wan't to go with you, then that's her loss. Why you got to act like a desperate punk???

Don't ever let a ***** get you going...remember you'r THE MAN. You got to give her a chance to go after you....If she didn't warm up to you this time, there is always next time you run into her....in the mean time, chaise some other tail....

 

[jigga23]

i dont think i acted that desperate. I basically was like heres what i want, what do you want? ok you dont want the same thing thats your choice im outta here

 

[far from average]

The big mistake I think you made was telling her you're not gonna talk to her any more. Perhaps I read it out of context, but that seemed like a childish tantrum because you didn't get your own way.

Oh yeah, that's what I forgot to tell you. You never want to make ultimatums or extreme statements like "I'm never going to talk to you again" unless you are absolutely positive that you are willing to back them up without hesitation or reservation. Actually, that should apply to anything you say. Once people realize your words and actions don't match up, they will begin to lose respect for you.

 

[jigga23]

When i say things to girls like that its halfway true. What i mean when i say that stuff is hey cause youre acting like that im not initiating anything with you anymore so im done with you until you give me what i want. she has to call me im not calling her. im not going up to you youre coming up to me and if not then i guess were not talking anymore cause ive given enough effort. but i do understand where you guys are coming from.

 

[far from average]

If what you are saying is only halfway true, then just say the true half.