"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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I got "AA"

L

loving

Senior Don Juan
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Follow your bliss
mpw o may be a little drunk but aa dos not stand for that kind of problem

my aa is for goin and talkin to girls and i got it bad.

i think peoples r judgin me.. i think imnot good enough for the girl.. im ashamed of speaking..

help me men what can id o?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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T

TheRealSupreme

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OMG I think I caught califragilitcitis. Isn't that the new thing that is going around that men use to hold themselves down?

I think I caught it. Now I am afraid to say hello to a woman that I know already.

I swear mankind can invent some wierd disorders and then suddenly everyone uses it to explain their lack of balls with.
 
D

daygameguy

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What do you expect us to say? Don't tell me you don't already know what to do.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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