I got a HUGE problem... People think im gay.... HELP!!!

[ttoneqdup]

I just found out people think i'm sweet. They know i'm not gay, just sweet. I talk soft, but that is because I don't like loud talkers. Not a feminine voice. Low volume with bass. I just really mind my business. After i hear something really funny I might stomp my foot laughing. Is that gay? I don't try to walk all masculine because I like to kind of not be noticed. just mind my business. But I don't think i "swish". I know i'm bone legged and had surgery on a leg so could that cause a "funny" walk?

My father wasn't a good role model. All he did was yell at me and lay in the bed and watch tv. So I guess, well I know i'm a momas boy. Can hanging around my mother alot cause this (me mimicking what I normally see subconciously?

Im a real nice guy, only had sex with 3 girls, real polite. That makes me gay? I know it might be somebody that might say "maybe you are", but i've never been the least bit attracted to a man so i doubt it. If anyone has ever had this problem and has some great tips or information, I would greatly appreciate it. I've done a lot of searching online to find out how to be more masculine and have been practicing some of the tips, but I think I need more. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

[ttoneqdup]

...... so you think my masculinity would change if I mess around with more women?

 

[ttoneqdup]

Being a b!tch by caring what others think, or by the way I act?

 

[ttoneqdup]

Could I get some "brotherly" advice? Help? That's what these forums are for right?

 

[ttoneqdup]

You don't have to be black to be a brother.... But yeah, I don't want sympathy, i'm asking for help, if you never had this problem and can't or don't want to help me, why don't you just go to another thread?

 

[ttoneqdup]

Ohhh... Face it head on like a challenge?

 

[SandHawk]

You want some brotherly help? Alright, brace yourself, because I'm going to be an *sshole and punch you right in the kisser with help. You will not like this, as it will confronting as hell, and it might even hurt. Hell, you might even leave this forum never to return because your feelings were hurt(lol!).

http://oi52.tinypic.com/t87mhj.jpg

You know why people think you're gay? Because you act damn well like one! Go meet a bunch of gay people, and you'll notice one thing they all have in common: They move very feminine, have a soft voice, care so much about the feelings of other people.

You seem to be doing the same thing, and therefore people conclude: You're a f*g.

But there is help! There is a way out of this, but it's going to be long and hard, and you'll probably fail because it requires so much effort that most people can't complete the challenge. I dare you to complete it and become a real man.

First of all, you should start reading the DJ Bible and the Book of Pook. They'll give you a nice comprehensive list of things that make a man a man. It's not the true list, or the only list, but it contains a good amount of them. Once you've read those book, stop with the low voice. You are man, YOU SHOULD BE F*CKING ROARING! Seriously, work on it to increase your voice volume to a normal level. Stop the squeaking and the "please don't notice and beat me up" attitude. Learn yourself the mindset that YOU are prince charming and do matter.

Your low voice / please don't notice me / oh I care so much for others attitude comes from massive insecurity. You care about what other people think / feel because you fear rejection. You fear (unconsciously) that they will reject you because your opinion differs from theirs or because something you do might upset them and drive them into no longer wanting to spend time with you. In other words: You put all the people around you on pedestals and value them much more then yourself.

Stop that, you're the only one that matters. You walk funny? Maybe difficult? Alright, lemme put it this way: If you take all the people you value so much and dump them, including you, in a burning building, wanna bet how many of these @ssholes are going to make sure you're getting out alive? Not a lot, most of them will just rescue themselves without even caring what happens to the rest. It's about time you realize that these people are just replaceable and that your opinion outweighs theirs.

Stop putting so much value on what they think / do / want. Listen to what you want. Noone is more valuable than you(except me).

 

[loveshogun]

...... so you think my masculinity would change if I mess around with more women?

I think your masculinity would change if you stopped giving a sh*t what other people think.

Just my two cents. There's no easy way to do this. You have to find what you want, and do that.

So, if you wanna tie your shirt up in a knot up front, just own it. Do what you wanna do.

Shoot, man, I know some gay guys that are WAY more masculine than any AFC. It's cause they don't spend their time complaining or whining about how everything isn't handed to them.

Being a man isn't about sexuality, strictly speaking. It's about drive, and the discipline to do what you need to do to get what you want.

I personally respect any man who knows what he's all about, and handles life and all of its situations as himself. I might not agree with his methods, but sh*t, he doesn't need me to, so from his pov, he can be like "f*ck you, Love Shogun, I got my own sh*t goin' on."

 

[pinhas]

Why would you want to spend your life being unnoticed and flying under the radar. That’s a very submissive; you’re putting yourself in the role of the defeated and docile. Remember, you are what you think of yourself, and what you think of yourself is what your surroundings see.

 

[ttoneqdup]

So basically, f##k what everybody else thinks, and be the man I want to be no matter what NEbody else thinks. Try harder everyday to be better than the haters?

 

[Atom Smasher]

Define what ingredients make up the kind of man whom you respect, and start on the path of becoming that man. You should define him on paper.

I used to be kind of on the femminine side. It was slight but there, the result of growing up with a mother, 3 sisters, and a largely absentee father.

I would hang out with men, and I could always tell they didn't know what to make of me. They could see me as cool in a way but they always had this suspicious look about them until I really got to know them. At the time I didn't know what the problem was, but I sensed it deep inside. I just wouldn't have been able to articulate it in my mind.

My "coolness" offset their suspicion, and that would cause them to not completely write me off until given a chance, and they always accepted me after that.

Now I'm very masculine, just because I purposed in my heart to become so. It's funny, though. I notice that if I do computer work for the father of the kid next door who I grew up with, I can tell that I ever-so-slightly revert back to that slightly effeminate way. It's very slight, barely noticable, but it's there. The power of the inner bricks that make up our foundation is astonishing. We can never eliminate those bricks (we would come crashing down if we removed them), but we can build something bigger and better on top of that foundation which will completely overpower those bricks that were laid in our formative years.

So define the man you want to be, break that definition down into catagories (health, wardrobe, finances, beliefs, etc.), and get out there and perform baby steps on each category every day. The baby steps are very important because the job won't seem overwhelming that way. Each day your efforts will compound, just like pennied in the bank, until you notice that you have created some solid structure within yourself. Then continue building.

Again, write it down. You've got to make the picture solid.

You will end up walking and talking with a new swagger that will completely overpower your former tendancies.

 

[ttoneqdup]

Appreciate the encouragement. Is the way I walk an easy fix along with Talking louder, or should Istop moving my hands when I talk first?

 

[SandHawk]

Appreciate the encouragement. Is the way I walk an easy fix along with Talking louder, or should Istop moving my hands when I talk first?

There is nothing wrong with moving your hands when you talk. In fact, I gesture a lot, and people have told me that my hands sometimes tell the things I am saying as well. In fact, you could make your hands work FOR you, as they add strength to your statements. Just be sure not to swing your arms around a lot. Don't make your hands stick out too much to the sides, max. 5 cm from your shoulders.

As for walking: You ever seen Sons of Anarchy? Check out how Jackson(Jax) Teller walks. He walks masculine. Gradually change the way you walk into something like that. Also, look up online how to stand up straight. Because that is the first step in walking differently. Relax your shoulders and pull your sternum upwards. Your shoulders will fall back, your chest comes up. This will require a lot of effort to keep up, because if you've slouched a lot, you want to fall back in that behaviour. Keep working on it, and when you notice you slouch again, re-adjust your pose. Do it enough times, and it'll become an automatic thing.

As for speaking louder: You should find a book on voice training. Because talking louder is very subtle, because if you start to speak louder, you have the chance of screaming all the time, which is something you want to avoid. People will consider you a screamy little b*tch and you still aren't achieving what you want.

Good luck with those.

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

Sign up for a boxing or mma gym.

That will put some hair on your balls.

 

[Atom Smasher]

One of the sure-fire signs of gayness is when the head moves around in exaggerated motions while speaking. If this is something you do, then you would probably want to work on keeping your head still. A masculine man moves slowly, deliberately, and with self-control. Hand and arm motions can be OK, but excessive head motions are very, very bad.

 

[Masculinity]

Could I get some "brotherly" advice? Help? That's what these forums are for right?

You have slept with three females, correct? How old are you?

 

[ttoneqdup]

You have slept with three females, correct? How old are you?

Mid-20's... I've been an shy guy my whole life, and have turned some down because of my "shotcomings" if you know what I mean... Never been attracted to a guy so I know im not gay, just been shy my whole life so I never wanted to be center of attention. I thought I was just laid back and shy, but others see it differently.

 

[Rubirosa]

Dude give me a break............
If anyone (male or female) asks you if you're gay, throw it back in their face and say..........
"So what you're saying is that you're looking at me and thinking sexual thoughts........... .?"
Recently I had this one hot chick at a club ask me that, and when I used this response, she sweetly smiled back at me and said "Yes !"........We ended up making out in her car later that night.

 

[ttoneqdup]

Once again I appreciate all the help fellas. Most of the habits I have been doing have been easy fixes so far. Only problem I have so far is that my walk doesn't look sweet right now it just looks funny. Plus people that notice you changing got something to say.... But f##k em'!!! I'm going to be the man I want to be!!!

 

[backbreaker]

man this thread is full of so much fail it's funny.

I have probably been called a faggot more than anyone in this thread (maybe besides the OP) combined. I'm the classic black metro sexual. I don't have a deep voice at all and I wear clothes that fit. I like tight jeans. Not asscrack tight but fitting skinny jeans when I do wear blue jeans. I get hit on by guys quite often.

This is one that just never bothered me in the least bit. Not to say antyhing doesn't bother me, this just isn't' one of them> I know I don't like ****, even if I did, it's not a bad thing, it's a choice. you either like **** or you like ***** lol.

What you have to ask yourself is who are you trying to convince?

1. If a woman calls you gay, it's because she likes you and is wondering why you haven ot talked to her yet and/or is trying to rationalize why you have not talked to her. A woman can THINK you are gay, but for a woman t o come out and CALL you gay, it's one or the other. more than once I have been put in a situation that was basically "here come and get it" and I wasn't interested and I heard through the grapevine that that person thought I must be a faggot becuase I didn't bite.

2. Every man who has called me gay, there was some ulterior motive behind the name calling. Either I was just better looking and they saw me as a threat, we were going after the same girl, or I did something to stand them up, something. Dudes just don't come out and call dudes faggots for no reason


Most people today see any guy who is style concious and doesn't partake in certain "male" asepcts, as gay. that's their problem not yours. I have been called gay becuase I don't care that much for NBA basketball. I'd rather watch a law and order rerun. That's just me.

Be YOU. Why the **** would you want to be a clone of someone else? I don't get that. I like me because I'm unique. I like the way I dress, I like the way I carry myself. you can make ANYTHING work if you can do it with confidence.


WTF is a sweet walk? lol.