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I gave her an ultimatum, was I in the wrong?

captain55

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The girl I’m dating is hot but is trying to get a social media going to try and make money off it and asked me how I felt about it. I played it off and said “yeah as long as you spend the money you make off it on me” jokingly but I actually thought about it. I’m a high value man, I gave up a lot of hot chicks for you, so I can make ultimatums

“listen, if I’m going to be investing in you with my time and financially I don’t want the headaches and distractions of 1000 random guys messaging you trying to get at you to fly you out. I trust you but it’s just unnecessary **** and it’s also a safety risk. I don’t feel comfortable being monogamous with a woman that is still putting herself out on the market like that with sexy pics and while I realize it may seem controlling you can take it or leave it ”

I could honestly care less if it comes off as controlling because I don’t want the drama that these girls with massive social media’s bring. If she would of had a big following before I met her that would be different, I’ve dated those girls... she doesn’t have the following yet.

I’ve dated women at least two women that have had celebs hit them on ig I guess which is why I’m paranoid. Luckily they were honest and showed me but I know most girls probably wouldn’t.

Important note- she had this account before I started dating her. Not like it’s out of the blue
 
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HaleyBaron

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Logical steps for when someone asks if they were wrong:

1) Did you regret your decision? Stop regretting.
2) Did you come out on top? If so, nothing was wrong.
3) Did you care what she thinks? Acknowledge what she may think, but don't care for it.
4) Do you have other things going on than worrying about a girl? Clearly not.
 

Velasco

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Read Vision's comment here:
 

Glassguy

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Super simple:

As a man, you should have values and boundaries in your relationships; friendships, professional, romantic.

If she crosses your boundaries or her values don't align with yours, wish her well and move on.

Problem solved.
This. Because this woman is going to continue doing what she wants, either in front of you or behind your back.


"Sorry hun, but this does not benefit me and I am not sticking around for it. Take care"
 

xplt

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If she wants to showcase herself, I understand your point of view. I would have said it different, but if this is one of your boundaries, make it clear.

I mean it depends, what she wants to post. But I simply can't stand social media. I have no profiles myself. I don't want to have a woman, that presents herself on the internet, too. In my opinion she doesn't really value and respect the relationship then.
 

Guy69JackBlue

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What exactly would she be doing to make money off her looks?
Good question.

I find it funny to see dumb b1tches ruin their whole personality to try to be some "hustler" so they can make chump change. It says a lot about their true character.
 

Glassguy

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I’m a high value man
Are you sure? Not being sarcastic but follow along....

I don’t want the headaches and distractions of 1000 random guys messaging you trying to get at you to fly you out.
Who would? Sounds like she is hooking. Does a high value man date a hooker?

she had this account before I started dating her. Not like it’s out of the blue
So you knew about it, yet you put up with it. Again, I am not judging you, but high value men dont get into relationships with these types of women. If they become involved and THEN find out, its a little different. She can choose to change her behavior or you ghost her. But you have allowed yourself to get involved with someone who clearly does something that is not approved of (by you) and you have allowed it to a certain extent.

I didnt mean for that to sound harsh, but its the only way I knew how to say it (direct). It seems like an easy decision as she will string you along and do this anyways if thats what she wants.
 

captain55

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This. Because this woman is going to continue doing what she wants, either in front of you or behind your back.


"Sorry hun, but this does not benefit me and I am not sticking around for it. Take care"
your right. The problem is this girl pushed hard for me to be exclusive.
What exactly would she be doing to make money off her looks?
She started an account for a Keto diet several months before she met me and was posting pics trying to get a following. I would never sit back and date a girl making bank off Instagram that wasn’t contributing financially to the relationship.

I know she wants to make money off the thing by posting pics and following people. I’ve dated girls with massive followings But I let it slide because they already have it. But a girl trying to build one while I’m with her I don’t see the point. I’d rather have one with a massive following already, because I would know despite all the orbiters she chose me.
 

Modern Man Advice

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The girl I’m dating is hot but is trying to get a social media going to try and make money off it and asked me how I felt about it. I played it off and said “yeah as long as you spend the money you make off it on me” jokingly but I actually thought about it. I’m a high value man, I gave up a lot of hot chicks for you, so I can make ultimatums

“listen, if I’m going to be investing in you with my time and financially I don’t want the headaches and distractions of 1000 random guys messaging you trying to get at you to fly you out. I trust you but it’s just unnecessary **** and it’s also a safety risk. I don’t feel comfortable being monogamous with a woman that is still putting herself out on the market like that with sexy pics and while I realize it may seem controlling you can take it or leave it ”

I could honestly care less if it comes off as controlling because I don’t want the drama that these girls with massive social media’s bring. If she would of had a big following before I met her that would be different, I’ve dated those girls... she doesn’t have the following yet.

I’ve dated women at least two women that have had celebs hit them on ig I guess which is why I’m paranoid. Luckily they were honest and showed me but I know most girls probably wouldn’t.

Important note- she had this account before I started dating her. Not like it’s out of the blue
You are setting boundaries. That's always healthy. Whether those specific boundaries are fair or not is totally subjective. Sounds like that is important for you, so nothing wrong with setting a strong frame and boundaries.



Modern Man Advice
 

Guy69JackBlue

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your right. The problem is this girl pushed hard for me to be exclusive.


She started an account for a Keto diet several months before she met me and was posting pics trying to get a following. I would never sit back and date a girl making bank off Instagram that wasn’t contributing financially to the relationship.

I know she wants to make money off the thing by posting pics and following people. I’ve dated girls with massive followings But I let it slide because they already have it. But a girl trying to build one while I’m with her I don’t see the point. I’d rather have one with a massive following already, because I would know despite all the orbiters she chose me.
A Keto diet? That's the most PG thing I've ever heard. I don't even understand the point of the thread now.

I assumed she was advertising her Onlyfans or her webcam.

Edit: Now that I think more about it, what you're saying makes no sense. You're wanting her to contribute financially while limiting her ability to do so. It's not like she's sucking guys off in an alley. (Although I question the amount someone can make on IG with a keto diet).
 

captain55

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Are you sure? Not being sarcastic but follow along....



Who would? Sounds like she is hooking. Does a high value man date a hooker?


So you knew about it, yet you put up with it. Again, I am not judging you, but high value men dont get into relationships with these types of women. If they become involved and THEN find out, its a little different. She can choose to change her behavior or you ghost her. But you have allowed yourself to get involved with someone who clearly does something that is not approved of (by you) and you have allowed it to a certain extent.

I didnt mean for that to sound harsh, but its the only way I knew how to say it (direct). It seems like an easy decision as she will string you along and do this anyways if thats what she wants.
I should of been more clear. The account is fine, nothing not appropriate. She just asked me how I would feel about it if she started posting things of her body to get a following and I gave her my opinion. She has not posted anything since I’ve dated her, which tells me she is scared to lose me. But I was a little insulted that she asked yes. I do not know if she has genuine intentions to make Money and help people, or if she just wants the attention, or both.

Yes I could be a 500lb shut in behind the doors. But I have no reason to lie. I openly told her this is the way it is knowing damn well some women might walk over a guy saying that to them. Love her she’s great but not scared to lose her either my peace of mind comes first. I’d rather date 4 women at once and not care what they are doing than date an attention *****
 

xplt

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A Keto diet? That's the most PG thing I've ever heard. I don't even understand the point of the thread now.

I assumed she was advertising her Onlyfans or her webcam.
Yep, thought she was up for posting her butt.
 

captain55

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A Keto diet? That's the most PG thing I've ever heard. I don't even understand the point of the thread now.

I assumed she was advertising her Onlyfans or her webcam.

Edit: Now that I think more about it, what you're saying makes no sense. You're wanting her to contribute financially while limiting her ability to do so. It's not like she's sucking guys off in an alley. (Although I question the amount someone can make on IG with a keto diet).
Well it would show pics of her ass yes ...which is why she asked me. Transformation pics
 

Guy69JackBlue

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Yep, thought she was up for posting her butt.
Even that's not a big deal. As long as it's tasteful and not some obvious hooker sh1t.

Plenty of "classy" girls post bikini pics. As long as they're not getting paid to give blowj0bs, I wouldn't worry about it.
 

captain55

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You are setting boundaries. That's always healthy. Whether those specific boundaries are fair or not is totally subjective. Sounds like that is important for you, so nothing wrong with setting a strong frame and boundaries.



Modern Man Advice
I know damn well I am Sounding controlling and over the top and I know damn well a lot of women will not tolerate it I just don’t really give a ****. My peace of mind comes first. Let’s be real if a girl leaves because your possessive and control in there’s always another hot woman into that controlling **** that will put up with it.
 

Modern Man Advice

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I know damn well I am Sounding controlling and over the top and I know damn well a lot of women will not tolerate it I just don’t really give a ****. My peace of mind comes first. Let’s be real if a girl leaves because your possessive and control in there’s always another hot woman into that controlling **** that will put up with it.
Exactly, while it might sound controlling. I don't think it is. It is something that you simply do not tolerate, she can do other things, just not something you do not tolerate. Now if you are constantly telling her what to do and not do, that is a different story.

It is pretty simple, women need to be submissive and follow our lead. There is a healthy level of submissiveness a good woman will appreciate. If she doesn't respect this specific boundary then she simply will not cooperate or be submissive. It will be a power struggle and you should avoid that in a relationship.

People (especially modern feminists) often confuse a strong masculine frame with mysogony. There is a huge difference, but society wants us to view masculinity as toxic and hateful.


Modern Man Advice
 
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