Sir Shinra
Don Juan
Long time no see, SoSuave.
I apologize for my sudden unannounced absence. Some of you may be wondering what happened to me, as I suddenly disappeared on the last week of boot camp.
Well, I did finish, though quite anticlimaticly. It took me several club visits over two weeks to complete my assignments, as I was just exhausted of the whole ordeal. I knew it would be easy to go out and get number closes (easy in a club, provided you can actually get the woman to talk to you. Women you meet in clubs never answer the phone though, no matter how interested they are/seem in you). The approaching of groups was the hard part. I didn't mind one woman thinking I'm wierd, but a group of three or more was a lot to deal with. Having guys in the group made it more difficult. I got some very fast, direct rejections, ranging from "We don't want any company," to "excuse me, can you please not talk to us?"
Boot Camp was a long and arduous journey, one to which I completely dedicated myself to. I thought about bootcamp every passing moment... it quickly became my life--my obsession, a painful addiction. Even if I didn't want to approach, even if I didn't need to approach, I always felt an inner compulsion to do so. There even came a point where I dreaded going out to do simple things like grocery shopping, because I knew I would meet attractive women and have to approach them. This mental burden still weighs heavily on me today. Even though I have finished my bootcamp obligations, I can't stand the sight of attractive women because I now know that I CAN pick them up (though the chance for sexual success is very, very remote), and thus I have no longer have an excuse to not approach. If I don't do it, I feel guilty.
I made fast progress early on. Within a few weeks of starting the boot camp, I quickly went from having nothing to do on evenings to having 2-4 dates each week. I keep very, very busy now... and I never thought I'd say this, but I have too many women in my life to juggle right now. It's really impossible for me to keep up with them right now. I think most of them lose interest simply because I take too long to call them between dates.
During the course of bootcamp I went on over 30 dates with many different women. I got over 100 phone numbers and, of course, countless rejections.
Here's my situation:
I've hit a plateau... and this isn't a recent development. I've been stuck where I am for the past 2-3 months
I've been seeing many women, some for multiple dates, but I'm not making any sexual progress. I almost always have fun on my dates, and I can tell that they are too. I keep up the C&F and kino, but when the time comes for the kiss close, they almost always refuse me. Here's the kicker... they KEEP SEEING ME even after refusing my kiss... only to pull the same refusal on my next attempt. I have ONE girl I'm currently seeing that will let me kiss her, and it took five dates just to get to first base. So far, I've gotten nowhere past first base with any girl, in any situation.
Lately, I feel as if I'm moving backward. My rejection rate has actually gone UP since I first came to Korea-- for day game as well club game. In the club, most women won't even acknowledge me. Those that do usually approach me first. Not to mention, less girls are approaching me now.
During the first weeks of boot camp, I was almost always getting their number. Now the HBs just ignore me. Even the average-looking ones. I can't even get my foot in the door. If I can actually get them to talk to me, the number is almost guaranteed, but lately they won't even acknowledge me addressing them, regardless of what type of opener I use, whether it is situational, complimentary, direct, or just a simple 'hello.' What has happened?
I thought I would feel a tremendous feeling of relief when I reach my Week 8goals, but I don't feel relief as I didn't reach MY GOALs, to be able to be sexual with women and have them appreciate that instead of shun me for it. And, more importantly, to be the Alpha Male. I definitely don't feel anywhere near Alpha Male. Since I've been intereacting mostly with females lately, I actually feel a bit intimidated around other males. I don't often lead the intereaction, especially if there are other males present.
It seems that no matter what I learn and how I apply it, it seems like I'm missing something that all the guys that are pulling seem to have.
I need a new approach.
Even before I started the Bootcamp, I thought about Pook's basic thesis... that learning PU is pointless and I need to be working on natural game. That is, becoming more 'manly'. This thought was always in the back of my mind --and sometimes in front -- as I read the material and did the exercises.
I put to use all the material I learned here for keeping interest level and attraction up. Kino, C&F, sparing compliments, refusal to supplicate (This is most important. I have never bought a drink for a woman I just met at a bar, unless she buys one for me first) etc. It seemed to work at first. My dates always seemed to have fun when they were with me. But the dates never went anywhere. Why?
In my many visits to the club, I think I have found the answer. I'm too skinny. I've even had a few dates comment on it. I've noticed that all the guys I see that consistently pick up girls here are significantly bigger and more testosteronized than me. Case in point: U.S. military guys. Some are completely tactless, but big, masculine, and jerk-ish. They don't need to use charm or C&F; they can just yank a girl off the sideline and grind her on the dance floor for hours. Completely natural. Whenever I try that, I get refused... every time.
I met one guy in the Army (who isn't even that big or tall, by the way, so its probably more related to testosterone), who told me that he is so sure of success, that he actually books his motel room before he goes out. He said he gets about five rejections on average, but eventually will take home an HB. I saw him briefly on the dance floor. And you know what? I believe him. His crew (consisting of at least one attractive female) affirms the same. I actually talked with him about how I thought it was disgusting the way Korean girls are treated by Korean guys (they just grab random women off the dance floor and literally drag them home without a word... about as close to rape as you can get, if it isn't already) and you know what he said? "That's great!" His friends (including females) know this, and they are okay with it. Yet if I were to adopt that mindset, I would be universally shunned.
Whether I'm experimenting with new techniques, or being completely natural, I am consistently met with failure. No matter how much of a hard time I give them, no matter how much I refuse to supplicate, they just don't buy it. It's like they don't even view me as a man. They definitely don't view me as a Don Juan... not a good one, anyway.
I think it's about time to, as a wise fictional character once said, "unlearn what you have learned." That is, as Pook suggested, cast aside all the skills, techniques, and psychological constructs I have learned about women and start over. I've reached the end of the road, and now it's time to take a new path. What's the next step?
**By the way, I want to thank Al Moh, AAAgent, Rushingdude123 and others for their support and encouragement throughout the BC. Regardless of my success, this is something I really needed to do. I am a different person now that I have done this, and thus my motive for coming to Korea is justified. Thanks again.**
I apologize for my sudden unannounced absence. Some of you may be wondering what happened to me, as I suddenly disappeared on the last week of boot camp.
Well, I did finish, though quite anticlimaticly. It took me several club visits over two weeks to complete my assignments, as I was just exhausted of the whole ordeal. I knew it would be easy to go out and get number closes (easy in a club, provided you can actually get the woman to talk to you. Women you meet in clubs never answer the phone though, no matter how interested they are/seem in you). The approaching of groups was the hard part. I didn't mind one woman thinking I'm wierd, but a group of three or more was a lot to deal with. Having guys in the group made it more difficult. I got some very fast, direct rejections, ranging from "We don't want any company," to "excuse me, can you please not talk to us?"
Boot Camp was a long and arduous journey, one to which I completely dedicated myself to. I thought about bootcamp every passing moment... it quickly became my life--my obsession, a painful addiction. Even if I didn't want to approach, even if I didn't need to approach, I always felt an inner compulsion to do so. There even came a point where I dreaded going out to do simple things like grocery shopping, because I knew I would meet attractive women and have to approach them. This mental burden still weighs heavily on me today. Even though I have finished my bootcamp obligations, I can't stand the sight of attractive women because I now know that I CAN pick them up (though the chance for sexual success is very, very remote), and thus I have no longer have an excuse to not approach. If I don't do it, I feel guilty.
I made fast progress early on. Within a few weeks of starting the boot camp, I quickly went from having nothing to do on evenings to having 2-4 dates each week. I keep very, very busy now... and I never thought I'd say this, but I have too many women in my life to juggle right now. It's really impossible for me to keep up with them right now. I think most of them lose interest simply because I take too long to call them between dates.
During the course of bootcamp I went on over 30 dates with many different women. I got over 100 phone numbers and, of course, countless rejections.
Here's my situation:
I've hit a plateau... and this isn't a recent development. I've been stuck where I am for the past 2-3 months
I've been seeing many women, some for multiple dates, but I'm not making any sexual progress. I almost always have fun on my dates, and I can tell that they are too. I keep up the C&F and kino, but when the time comes for the kiss close, they almost always refuse me. Here's the kicker... they KEEP SEEING ME even after refusing my kiss... only to pull the same refusal on my next attempt. I have ONE girl I'm currently seeing that will let me kiss her, and it took five dates just to get to first base. So far, I've gotten nowhere past first base with any girl, in any situation.
Lately, I feel as if I'm moving backward. My rejection rate has actually gone UP since I first came to Korea-- for day game as well club game. In the club, most women won't even acknowledge me. Those that do usually approach me first. Not to mention, less girls are approaching me now.
During the first weeks of boot camp, I was almost always getting their number. Now the HBs just ignore me. Even the average-looking ones. I can't even get my foot in the door. If I can actually get them to talk to me, the number is almost guaranteed, but lately they won't even acknowledge me addressing them, regardless of what type of opener I use, whether it is situational, complimentary, direct, or just a simple 'hello.' What has happened?
I thought I would feel a tremendous feeling of relief when I reach my Week 8goals, but I don't feel relief as I didn't reach MY GOALs, to be able to be sexual with women and have them appreciate that instead of shun me for it. And, more importantly, to be the Alpha Male. I definitely don't feel anywhere near Alpha Male. Since I've been intereacting mostly with females lately, I actually feel a bit intimidated around other males. I don't often lead the intereaction, especially if there are other males present.
It seems that no matter what I learn and how I apply it, it seems like I'm missing something that all the guys that are pulling seem to have.
I need a new approach.
Even before I started the Bootcamp, I thought about Pook's basic thesis... that learning PU is pointless and I need to be working on natural game. That is, becoming more 'manly'. This thought was always in the back of my mind --and sometimes in front -- as I read the material and did the exercises.
I put to use all the material I learned here for keeping interest level and attraction up. Kino, C&F, sparing compliments, refusal to supplicate (This is most important. I have never bought a drink for a woman I just met at a bar, unless she buys one for me first) etc. It seemed to work at first. My dates always seemed to have fun when they were with me. But the dates never went anywhere. Why?
In my many visits to the club, I think I have found the answer. I'm too skinny. I've even had a few dates comment on it. I've noticed that all the guys I see that consistently pick up girls here are significantly bigger and more testosteronized than me. Case in point: U.S. military guys. Some are completely tactless, but big, masculine, and jerk-ish. They don't need to use charm or C&F; they can just yank a girl off the sideline and grind her on the dance floor for hours. Completely natural. Whenever I try that, I get refused... every time.
I met one guy in the Army (who isn't even that big or tall, by the way, so its probably more related to testosterone), who told me that he is so sure of success, that he actually books his motel room before he goes out. He said he gets about five rejections on average, but eventually will take home an HB. I saw him briefly on the dance floor. And you know what? I believe him. His crew (consisting of at least one attractive female) affirms the same. I actually talked with him about how I thought it was disgusting the way Korean girls are treated by Korean guys (they just grab random women off the dance floor and literally drag them home without a word... about as close to rape as you can get, if it isn't already) and you know what he said? "That's great!" His friends (including females) know this, and they are okay with it. Yet if I were to adopt that mindset, I would be universally shunned.
Whether I'm experimenting with new techniques, or being completely natural, I am consistently met with failure. No matter how much of a hard time I give them, no matter how much I refuse to supplicate, they just don't buy it. It's like they don't even view me as a man. They definitely don't view me as a Don Juan... not a good one, anyway.
I think it's about time to, as a wise fictional character once said, "unlearn what you have learned." That is, as Pook suggested, cast aside all the skills, techniques, and psychological constructs I have learned about women and start over. I've reached the end of the road, and now it's time to take a new path. What's the next step?
**By the way, I want to thank Al Moh, AAAgent, Rushingdude123 and others for their support and encouragement throughout the BC. Regardless of my success, this is something I really needed to do. I am a different person now that I have done this, and thus my motive for coming to Korea is justified. Thanks again.**
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) How did Fingers get the opposite effect? Can you link to the post?