"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

I finally woke up.

Coltrane

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Beware: AFC Moments that will make you CRINGE

Last night, on the way home from work, my car broke down. This was ten minutes after my cell phone died. I didn't feel like waiting around for someone to pull over at 1AM to help me out, so I just locked my **** up and made the 5 mile hike back home. I had a lot of time to reflect during my little stroll.

I've been the biggest AFC for my entire life. And At about mile 3, I made the decision that my life has to change.

Last year was my first year at college, and while I did alright in terms of academics, I really screwed myself socially.
I met an upperclassman girl, who I instantly tabbed "the girl of my dreams." I don't know how, but I ended up in a relationship with her. Naturally, I thought I was hot ****, as a freshman dating a hot senior.

Things went ok... But I should have known that the relationship was twisted when she would hide me from her friends ( I literally had to sit in a closet for twenty minutes when her room mate came home unexpectedly).
I made the mistake of telling her things about me. I told her that I was a virgin (that was counterproductive, because that actually killed my chances of having sex with her.) I told her about my lack of experience with women. I told her about a girl I was in love with all of high school, and who ended up walking out on me with some lacrosse player. I told her all about my insecurities. She, in return, told all of these things to her support network of equally *****y girls.
On the other hand, she began trying to "change" me. Before I started dating her I would hit the gym everyday, trying to put myself into better shape. She told me that I should be happy with the way I am, and that by going to the gym all the time I was "immature". So I stopped.
She would always talk about her past boyfriends, one who was a musician and the other who was a Marine, and how mature and manly they were in comparison to me.
I still stuck around. She was the girl of my dreams...

I left school for Thanksgiving Break, and instead of hanging out with friends, I spent the majority of the holiday on Skype waiting for her to sign on (We live on opposite sides of the country). When I got back to school, I took her out to a really nice restaurant for a date where she told me that she met another guy during the holidays. Turns out the other guy was a 36 year old congressional aide or some **** (keep in mind, she was 20!).

For the rest of the year I spiraled out of control. For the first half, I was dead set on getting this girl back. I lurked her facebook constantly, where she posted pictures from the Hawaii vacation her new boyfriend took her on for spring break. I schemed to win her back.
Then I realized that I'd never get her back, and forced myself to get over her.
I felt like the entire school knew about my personal life and insecurities. I felt like I didn't have a chance in hell to meet another girl.
I fell into a porn addiction, I began smoking, and drinking tons.
Yesterday, During my hike home, I woke up.

My life has gone to ****.

I used to be in good shape (six pack abs and everything!) Now I have a gut. I haven't been in contact with a woman since I came home from school in May. I'm still a virgin. I have no motivation to live. I eat like ****. I stay up late and surf the web until 4AM. I'm balding.

And suddenly this explosive burst of energy consumed me. I came home, and instead of going to sleep, I tossed out all of my cigarettes and handles of vodka. I deleted all of my porn files. I deactivated my facebook account.
I went to sleep, and slept a solid eight hours. This morning, I got up and ran 3 miles, then I hit the gym. I skipped Hardy's for breakfast and cooked an omelet at home. Later today, I'm getting a haircut, and getting some new clothes.

I'm going to get my life back in order.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Solomon

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Buddha_Mind

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Coltrane -- YES MAN!

I am glad to hear that you are taking control of your life and not letting some dumb b.tch **** up your self-esteem and your entire path.

This is YOUR LIFE and you only have YOURSELF.

This is going to be the beginning of a big change -- you are going to need to set your will in stone, because certain habits are very easy to fall back on (even years of not smoking cigarettes, I've found it is too easy to fall back into them) -- keep your will strong and your goals very clear in your mind.

What and where do you want to be in the next 6months?

I think everyone on this board has been big time d.cked by women at some point -- greatly hurt -- and I know we all make our own mistakes. But have faith in yourself, keep working to improve, let this woman go in your mind, and look to the future because it CAN be whatever you want and are willing to WORK to make it be.

Stay up man.
 

sexysuave

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Congrats,,

Now stay motivated!!!! Set weekly and daily goals.. keep us updated..
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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vatoloco

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Ha! You're like my younger self, back in my 20s. Dude, you are SOOOO lucky to have made the decision to better yourself.

Read my observation/experience log (link at the bottom). I feel you might be ready to incorporate some its lessons into your life. Good luck, my friend.
 

Serg897

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I wish I had your mindset when I first started college. I was still a helpless AFC reeling from a devastating breakup with a girlfriend. Good job.
 

irocknike23

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to the OP

wait...this chick told you to stop hitting the gym and be happy how you are??? thats super unheard of this girl is weird...thats like a guy telling his girlfriend to stop dieting and eat as many honey glazed donuts as you want and be happy:confused:


and thats also motivational. good to hear your getting your life back together.
i also made the mistake in the past of sharing way too much info with a girl, i honestly learned thats a big no-no when i joined these forums, prior to that i thought you were supposed to tell your girl all that(because they always ask away)
 

will1258

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I'm a bit older than you and I'm starting over and turning over a new leaf so kudos to you and I hope you get what you deserve.
 

Alex DeLarge

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kudos coltrane.. welcome to a better life!
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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cordoncordon

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If you really want to get into top physical shape and at the same time lose your addiction to smoking, your taste for heavy drinking and junk food....order the P 90 X CD's and nutrition guide. I can promise you after 3 months you will be in the best shape of your life, you will be ripped, and your diet will be top notch. You will NEVER work as hard as you do with P 90. Trust me on this.

Congrats on your awakening.
 
Last edited:

irocknike23

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cordoncordon said:
If you really want to get into top physical shape and at the same time lose your addiction to smoking, your taste for heavy drinking and junk food....order the P 90 X CD's and nutrition guide. I an promise you after 3 months you will be in the best shape of your life, you will be ripped, and your diet will be top notch. You will NEVER work as hard as you do with P 90. Trust me on this.

Congrats on your awakening.
doubt its 3 months, they say almost no one makes it fully thought the program their first time
 

Zodiac

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irocknike23 said:
doubt its 3 months, they say almost no one makes it fully thought the program their first time
I was having fun though doing the workouts; did Chest & Shoulders & Triceps on Mondays and Fridays, Yoga on Wednesdays, Ab Ripper X on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Kenpo on Saturdays and Stretch on Sundays.

I did this every week and it was quite nice after the first week and a half. Noticed results after the first week in how I could keep with the program a lot easier. I made it through the first month and a half before I had to quit after getting injured playing football for fun :( .
 

irocknike23

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Zodiac said:
I was having fun though doing the workouts; did Chest & Shoulders & Triceps on Mondays and Fridays, Yoga on Wednesdays, Ab Ripper X on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Kenpo on Saturdays and Stretch on Sundays.

I did this every week and it was quite nice after the first week and a half. Noticed results after the first week in how I could keep with the program a lot easier. I made it through the first month and a half before I had to quit after getting injured playing football for fun :( .
i never got through it....i made it through the workout part but i just love good food too much


i still do the p90x abb ripper 4 times a week, that workout is a killer
 

cordoncordon

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irocknike23 said:
doubt its 3 months, they say almost no one makes it fully thought the program their first time
I just completed the first 13 weeks of P 90 x 3 weeks ago. 6 days a week, followed every CD and workout plan to a T. Did not miss one day or workout in that 13 weeks. Lost 25 pounds from around 215 to 191. And I'm not bragging, but I am ripped. :) You will sweat your azz off. You will workout like you never have before. You may want to pass out. You may puke. But in the end it is well worth it.

I am now doing one day of the plyo, one day kenpo, one day of the P 90 weightlifting /chin up/pullup/pushups/core workouts, one day yoga, and 2 days at the gym doing deadlifts, squats, benches, and a few other heavy weight exercises. I will do that schedule for another month or so, and then do another full round of P 90.

I really get a kick out of returning to the gym these 2 days a week and doing the heavy weights. Compared to P 90 X, it is SO easy. And I do 4 sets of each at least, 8-10 reps. And some circuit training. But it is cake compared to the P 90 routines.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Zodiac

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irocknike23 said:
i still do the p90x abb ripper 4 times a week, that workout is a killer
I do Yoga Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays with my few health conscious friends in the park after work and then Ab Ripper X Tuesdays and Thursdays by myself. The Yoga stuff in the park helps pick up in shape chicks though.

You should try to do a little more each week until you can do all 12 exercises over two weeks or the extra 5 exercises for a grand total of 17 of them over 3 weeks. I ended up finding what I liked which is Yoga and Ab Ripper so I can keep my abs along with randomly on Saturday or Sunday I'll pop in one of the other 15 exercise routines and do one for the hell of it.
 

irocknike23

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Zodiac said:
I do Yoga Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays with my few health conscious friends in the park after work and then Ab Ripper X Tuesdays and Thursdays by myself. The Yoga stuff in the park helps pick up in shape chicks though.

You should try to do a little more each week until you can do all 12 exercises over two weeks or the extra 5 exercises for a grand total of 17 of them over 3 weeks. I ended up finding what I liked which is Yoga and Ab Ripper so I can keep my abs along with randomly on Saturday or Sunday I'll pop in one of the other 15 exercise routines and do one for the hell of it.
ok dumb question but whats yoga do for you?
 

irocknike23

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cordoncordon said:
I just completed the first 13 weeks of P 90 x 3 weeks ago. 6 days a week, followed every CD and workout plan to a T. Did not miss one day or workout in that 13 weeks. Lost 25 pounds from around 215 to 191. And I'm not bragging, but I am ripped. :) You will sweat your azz off. You will workout like you never have before. You may want to pass out. You may puke. But in the end it is well worth it.

I am now doing one day of the plyo, one day kenpo, one day of the P 90 weightlifting /chin up/pullup/pushups/core workouts, one day yoga, and 2 days at the gym doing deadlifts, squats, benches, and a few other heavy weight exercises. I will do that schedule for another month or so, and then do another full round of P 90.

I really get a kick out of returning to the gym these 2 days a week and doing the heavy weights. Compared to P 90 X, it is SO easy. And I do 4 sets of each at least, 8-10 reps. And some circuit training. But it is cake compared to the P 90 routines.
the program is cool i will admit but one thing i remember about it is they say that you get more cut and toned but you come back weaker. like if you could bench 315 before you will come back to 275 etc...
 

HalfAddict

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Coltrane, upon reading your post I have begun the de-activation of my Facebook account. So I am behind you on this one 100% .. you don't reactivate that ****!

I recently started hitting the gym again too, feels good man. Tomorrow I think I will bust out my old combat boots and hike somewhere dangerous. Your post has inspired me, keep it up!
 

cordoncordon

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irocknike23 said:
the program is cool i will admit but one thing i remember about it is they say that you get more cut and toned but you come back weaker. like if you could bench 315 before you will come back to 275 etc...
For most that is probably true, unless you start out the program being way overweight and out of shape. But if you are used to being slightly bulkier and doing a ton of benches and deadlifts, you may lose a little. Main reason being you are going to lose weight and get much more cut, so your ability to pull or push super heavy weights will probably go down. But the increase in cardio fitness, body shape and form, and overall health make those things really unimportant. Plus, you may lose a little strength in those areas I mentioned because of a lose of fat bulk, but you will be much stronger in your ability to do push ups and chin ups/pull ups.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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