"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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I finally see the light!

the_m@n

Don Juan
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It's amazing to think that I joined this forum years ago and that it's all finally starting to sink in now. It's like everything in my brain just clicked all at once and I have no fear. I finally am starting to "get it." Things I read here years ago that sounded absolutely crazy, make more sense to me now than I could possibly explain.

One thing I found that helped me, was to just approach a woman hoping that I like her and not hoping that she likes me. This automatically puts me in a better mindset and subsequently boosts my projected self confidence. It also keeps her off the pedestal which in and of itself, is a major downfall from the start. It's a great feeling when you're doing your own thing in life and you don't have women anxiety hanging over your head. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can walk into any setting and be comfortable with who I am, and more importantly, what I'm looking for. And I can easily walk away if I see nothing I like.

The more I think about the things I used to do, the more I laugh. It takes time and self discipline but it's worth it in the end. I've found that changing your mindset to be process oriented rather than goal oriented is key. Keeping my mind focused on the outcome was adding unnecessary stress to my interactions with woman. It kind of takes the pressure off the buildup of getting her number, and makes that more of a natural part of the conversation and not the purpose of the conversation.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Aaron B

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 8, 2005
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good post

personally I have no problem requesting phone numbers because if she refuses that just means she has poor taste

all I can do is offer her the opportunity to get to know me

if she doesn't come along with my program its no big deal to me

since I play the numbers game I'm never dependent on any one woman
 
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