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I finally found some COMFORT in getting over my ex

Scars

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So I haven't been able to sleep lately, my mind has been going crazy. I thought I was over my ex (who is also my baby mama), and I pretty much was. But a few nights ago I was driving my daughter around looking at Christmas lights and happened to be in my exes neighborhood and I saw some stupid truck in her driveway. I already knew my ex was seeing other people, but I'm not going to lie, it felt like a kick in the balls seeing that and had my brain all frazzled. I started doing the most NON DJ thing you could ever do, and I made a habit of driving by late at night to see if the dude was staying over. It seemed like he was over there a lot, so I'm assuming it's getting serious, and it's more than just a f*** buddy type deal.

Anyway. The last couple days I've just been wondering who this guy is. Is he bigger than me? Is he better than me? What does he look like? My daughter managed to slip out his name and I tried to find him on FB just so I could see this dude. (I know, ****ing lame.) But it was driving me crazy. I had to know.

(I've been going NC with my ex for the most part. The only time we talk is when it's about our daughter.)

Anyway. Today, she comes to pick our daughter up from my house. My daughter had left a few things in my car so I followed them out to go grab them. Sure enough, dude is in the driver seat.

"So this is the new dude huh? Can I meet him?" I said

"Uh.. I don't think now is a game time for that." - Ex

"Why?" - Me

I then just straight up go to the window and point my finger down signaling him to roll down the window. I see the dude and he's just eating an ice cream cone like a chump. He doesn't look big at all. Probably same size is me, but I feel like I could easily take him down if I ever had to.

I reach out and we both shake hands, and I ask for his name. I say nice to meet you and that "I just like to meet people who are going to be around my daughter." He says yeah, he understands. I ask for his name one last time and then we part ways.

The whole time my ex is completely frazzled by the whole situation and you could tell she felt extremely awkward.

I think I handled it like a man. And I finally have COMFORT finally meeting this guy, knowing what he looks like, who he is, and knowing if he ever does some stupid **** with my daughter that I will have no problem ****ing his world up.

No more need to stalk. No more trying to put a face to a name.. and after meeting the guy, I don't feel like it's an "upgrade" from me at all.. so I feel a hell of a lot better.

Just ranting here... but it's a weight lifted off my shoulders.
 

sazc

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Its easier to have fear and anxiety when things are unknown. What you are going thru is a process. Its all normal and you are going to emerge from it as a stronger, wiser man. You did handle that like a champ :)
 

Scars

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Its easier to have fear and anxiety when things are unknown. What you are going thru is a process. Its all normal and you are going to emerge from it as a stronger, wiser man. You did handle that like a champ :)
I agree man. I think the unknown part is what bothered me the most.. now I don't have to "wonder" anymore, which is what was causing a lot of my anxiety and sleepless nights. I feel like I needed this to happen in order to truly get over her.
 

wifehunter

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Your situation makes me remember to be careful in the future. It's good to always know where the eject button is.

I feel for you.
 

Scars

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Your situation makes me remember to be careful in the future. It's good to always know where the eject button is.

I feel for you.
Yeah man. Not sure what your situation is like.. but don't EVER lose your frame. My biggest mistake was losing my frame, burning bridges with all my friends because I kept blowing them off to be with my ex.. then she decides to swing branches and guess what? Left with nothing.

Learn from my mistake.
 

Billtx49

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I agree man. I think the unknown part is what bothered me the most.. now I don't have to "wonder" anymore, which is what was causing a lot of my anxiety and sleepless nights. I feel like I needed this to happen in order to truly get over her.
Yes, fear of the unknown is Always worse than the actual reality of any situation.
Deny fear
 
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Dingo

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You did good because of the daughter.....
 
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